To think this isn't normal?

[skinnylov]

I was at a caravan recently for a few nights with my family and I really could enjoy myself due to the constant thoughts and worries about germs.

The place seemed clean but whenever I was eating I kept picturing how many people had holidayed there previously and thinking about all their germs and dirt. I brought my own plates and cutlery as I have always been funny with that anyways and can't stand the thought of others (except people I know) eating off the same plates etc even if they've been washed. And even then how do I know if they have been washed properly? It makes me feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

In the shower I would jump in and quickly clean and back out it would make my fully body shiver and get goosebumps just thinking of other peoples hair, snot and skin down the drain that I physically couldn't be in the shower for more than a couple minutes.

My husband has claimed I ruined the full holiday due to this as I didn't really eat however, I didn't tell him the real reason, would just say I'm not very hungry etc but I think he just knows by now.

The weird thing is at home I am not a clean freak at all. I spend time with my kids over cleaning the house. I really am not a germaphobe it's just in situations where others have been before me I can't stomach.

For instance when we first moved into our house I couldn't eat very well for a few months as I kept thinking about the previous occupants germs and dirt. However, after a few months and once I'd settled in I got over that. However, I refused to have a bath until we got a brand new one as I just couldn't bring myself to bathe somewhere someone else I didn't know had. So I went two years in my house without having a bath and just showering until we got our own one. I bathed a few times but now I can't as I always just think about the dirt and grime that's in the drain and how close I am to them lying in the bath.

I know this isn't normal behaviour but it's not something I feel I neee to get help for as it doesn't impact my day to day life. So I'm just wondering is anyone else the same or knows of anyone else the same? It's puzzling cause I'm really not a germaphobe and am fine at my friends house/parents house etc. It's just buses/hotels/caravans/planes/certain restaurants etc.

Blimey 🥺

Why does it matter if you walk on a hotel carpet with bare feet? They're your feet, at the end of your legs, they are literally at the furthest point from you (as in your brain, face) I don't know how some people make it to the end of each day I honestly don't

No, it isn’t normal. And it IS impacting on your life and your family’s lives.

Please seek help. It doesn’t have to be like this.

Not a quirk but a pathology ..l

I lived with a friend with really quite severe OCD and even she was okay with most of the stuff you're listing here, except on her worst days.

My non-medical assessment is that you are likely to have diagnosable OCD and could seek talking therapy (with an option on medication if required but it doesn't sound like it is for you, to me) in relation to this.

For comparison, I sometimes think about those things and start thinking how gross they are. Then I stop, remind myself there's nothing I can do about any of it without both limiting my life and creating a massive load of trouble, put it aside and carry on. It's the same reason I don't go back to the house to check the oven is on etc etc - because indulging the tendency just makes it more likely that it will return and that more will come. That was what I saw with my friend - she'd start with one thing (for example not wanting to touch cups she had put down) and it would spiral and spiral until she didn't want to touch her own bed. I don't have a scientific study to support my findings - it's anecdata only.

But this isn't normal OP, and your family can see it, so you can't tell yourself it doesn't impact them.

This isn't 'normal' though - and you shouldn't try and normalise it

I'm not sure I should tell you about kettles! It's probably nonsense anyway, but essentially using it for things other than its intended use. Search for hotel room kettle in advanced search.

No, no - not per MINUTE?!

It’s not normal, it’s not a ‘quirk’, it’s a mental illness .

No it's not normal and I can't believe posters saying it is. You say it doesn't impact your life but it's obviously impacting your family's life.
Why do you think fancy restaurants are clean but fast food places and Wetherspoons aren't? Why do you think the people who stayed in the caravan before you are unclean or don't know how to wash plates properly?
Maybe you are not so much a germphobe and just a bit snobby?

I'm a bit like this, OP. Like you though, I'm fine in my own house or in loved ones' houses.

I did skeptical me on this and had a Google. Top result on Google says 500 million per a day which about fits: www.acs.org/content/acs/en/pressroom/newsreleases/2011/may/the-skinny-on-how-shed-skin-reduces-indoor-air-pollution.html#:~:text=WASHINGTON%2C%20May%209%2C%202011%20%E2%80%94,They%20actually%20can%20be%20beneficial.

Then some basic maths to sense check:

Human body has 37.2 trillion cells. 400k per minute is about 600 million a day, so about 0.001% of your bodyweight. I weigh a weighty 80kg so that would be 0.8g a day.

BBC article says 0.03-0.08g an hour so 0.72 to 1.92g a day. So it does correlate.

Average cell weights 1ng. So 0.03g = 30 mg so 30,000,000 Ng. 30,000,000 divided by 60 gives 500k per minute.

So the order of magnitude looks about right I think. www.sciencefocus.com/the-human-body/how-much-skin-does-a-human-shed-in-their-life/amp/

Tbh it's another thing on the list of reasons one might as well just not bother getting squeamish - that's an enormous number but a tiny weight and there's nothing one can reasonably do about it.

I agree with PPs, it really does sound like you have OCD and have had for quite some time. I second the advice to seek therapy - my 13 year old DD developed OCD around 2 years ago and she was incredibly reluctant to speak to anyone about it. I eventually managed to convince her to see a therapist and the improvement has been incredible! Even after just one session her OCD behaviours were greatly reduced and she's so much happier and more relaxed. She still keeps her room spotless, showers as soon as she gets in from school and always washes her hands when she gets in the house and before she eats anything, but nothing that disrupts normal daily life, like it did before. It used to take her an hour just to have her version of a "quick shower". I really wish we'd sought help sooner and I hope that you will bite the bullet and find a decent therapist who can help you, so that your obsessions don't continue to get in the way of you living your life.

You’ve got contamination OCD.

Easily fixable with SSRIs and CBT. Worth tackling before it ruins your life. And other people’s.

Google gives me very different stats - much lower . But still awesomely high

@MyrtlethePurpleTurtle yep sorry. I Work in Microbiology in pharmaceuticals where we obviously have cleanrooms where meds are made. People are THE main source of contamination and even with air lock controlled cleanrooms with HEPA filters that clean the air sanitisation daily and ppl being “wrapped” (tyvek suits, foot covers, gloves, hair nets etc etc) there are STILL unwanted biological particles found in clean rooms.
Everyday air and rooms we live in, use etc are literally covered in skin cells, microbes etc etc…most are harmless though. That’s why we are still here 👍

My ex-boyf used to strip at the door after being on the London Underground.

I always take slippers for hotel rooms.

I was exactly the same when I went on a caravan holiday. The plates / cutlery / glass was the worst. And the bedsheets. I do have OCD, but it’s mainly related to food and doesn’t affect me at home

How can you say that this doesn't impact your life? It clearly is, and given that if ruined your husband's holiday it's clearly impacting his. And it's going to impact your children too.

You need to get some help with this. You might be fine with a very restricted life, but your family are not. Your children can't even go swimming.

And how can you day that not eating isn't impacting your life?

Please. Go to your doctor. This isn't good, and please ignore the posters who are trying to tell you that it's an acceptable quirk. It's not.

I know exactly how you feel, OP. I have emetophobia though and have had CBT because it was taking over my life and making me suicidal. I'm about where you are now after having my CBT.

im just back from a caravan holiday and I felt exactly the same. Maybe not to the extreme as bringing own utensils. I never eat in the caravan, only sitting in the patio outside. Can’t walk on grass either, in case of dog poo. Beaches either

It's not about getting ill for me, that's not what worries me. I just feel grubby when I think of the amount of people that have used that space before me and how the cleaner could not possibly get it completely clean/cutting corners. I imagine the dirt and where it's sitting and I have a physical reaction. I know rationally that the germs etc can't hurt me but the thought of them physically being there, even if I'm not touching them makes me feel sick and disgusted.

YES! That's exactly it, I just feel completely icky and that it's in the air.

The world is full of germs.

There’s no escaping them.

We can do our best with cleaning but there is nowhere that is 100% sterile.

Why does it matter if you walk on a hotel carpet with bare feet?

Because people walk on those carpets in shoes which have had rat piss, dog shit, vomit, and fuck knows what else on them (because pavements). And guests walk on all that in bare feet (boak) and then get into bed with all that revoltingness on their feet. Just, no.

I’m quite willing to accept my feelings are not the norm. But I’ve no intention of becoming okay with it either, because ewww.

DH also strips off his scrubs in the lobby every day and bings them straight in the wash. We rarely gets colds, D&V etc as a family.

Really feel for you OP. I'm not quite to the same extent as I can 'push through' it, but I've definitely had a lot of these intrusive thoughts since covid in 2020. It's much more at the front of my mind.