To think this isn't normal?

[skinnylov]

I was at a caravan recently for a few nights with my family and I really could enjoy myself due to the constant thoughts and worries about germs.

The place seemed clean but whenever I was eating I kept picturing how many people had holidayed there previously and thinking about all their germs and dirt. I brought my own plates and cutlery as I have always been funny with that anyways and can't stand the thought of others (except people I know) eating off the same plates etc even if they've been washed. And even then how do I know if they have been washed properly? It makes me feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

In the shower I would jump in and quickly clean and back out it would make my fully body shiver and get goosebumps just thinking of other peoples hair, snot and skin down the drain that I physically couldn't be in the shower for more than a couple minutes.

My husband has claimed I ruined the full holiday due to this as I didn't really eat however, I didn't tell him the real reason, would just say I'm not very hungry etc but I think he just knows by now.

The weird thing is at home I am not a clean freak at all. I spend time with my kids over cleaning the house. I really am not a germaphobe it's just in situations where others have been before me I can't stomach.

For instance when we first moved into our house I couldn't eat very well for a few months as I kept thinking about the previous occupants germs and dirt. However, after a few months and once I'd settled in I got over that. However, I refused to have a bath until we got a brand new one as I just couldn't bring myself to bathe somewhere someone else I didn't know had. So I went two years in my house without having a bath and just showering until we got our own one. I bathed a few times but now I can't as I always just think about the dirt and grime that's in the drain and how close I am to them lying in the bath.

I know this isn't normal behaviour but it's not something I feel I neee to get help for as it doesn't impact my day to day life. So I'm just wondering is anyone else the same or knows of anyone else the same? It's puzzling cause I'm really not a germaphobe and am fine at my friends house/parents house etc. It's just buses/hotels/caravans/planes/certain restaurants etc.

No this isnt normal.
And whether its a nice restaurant or not it doesn't matter.
I saw something happen in a really nice 5 star restaurant. That honestly made me have to leave. And yes its on my mind when i go there to this day but doesnt stop me. And im a clean freak!

I can be like this certain places I can't eat or drink in. My daughters flat for one. Also my dads house. Caravans do gross me out tho I'm generally ok in hotels, cottages, restaurants. I also can't eat bread a day after I open it, although I will toast it for a couple of days. But only fresh bread I don't do sliced. I can't eat from condiments unless I know how long they have been open. I can't eat ready meals. I'm autistic so assume it's linked to nd.

I have very similar worries and avoidances and I suffer with OCD. I'd really recommend seeking CBT therapy sooner rather than later, as the more you act on your fears the harder it can be to face them. A good OCD therapist should do ERP (Exposure Response Prevention) with you to challenge these thoughts. And in the mean time the book 'break free from ocd' is worth reading. There are also lots of support groups online and forums specifically for people with OCD that can be really helpful and full of lovely kind people going through the same thing. I hope you're able to find some support :)

My mum is like this, my childhood memory of every holiday is my mum getting us settled, laying out our own blankets on bed and then spending most of the first evening cleaning the whole hotel room or villa. The next day would be a chill/beach day as she'd be tired!
It's not a sad memory, just a memory. I always felt safe and clean with her and I've never been worried. It is just part of who she is and doesn't really cause anyone harm.

I do think it has affected me to some degree in the sense of I cannot stand certain things such as someone else's bathroom! Or seeing black mould in a bathroom.

It does sound like maybe you need to talk this through with someone who might be able to help you get to the bottom of why you're feeling this way. It must be really difficult when it impacts your life and holidays in this way.
I get it to some extent - I won't get in the bath in our new house, if I look too closely at the cutlery drawer I feel a bit sick, but I wouldn't say it worries me constantly. Just I do get a bit where you're coming from! You're not the only one!

This isn’t normal and I think anyone who thinks that level of fear is not a problem is massively in denial. I would be seeking treatment for this. If something stops you from doing/enjoying completely normal, commonplace things like going on holiday or eating in restaurants, and if your paranoia is impacting on others (which it is) you have a problem and you need (and deserve) some help in overcoming it.

None of that is normal. The vast majority of people do not worry about this stuff.

If it was normal, swimming pools would not exist, hotels would not have bathtubs, and self-catering properties would make you bring your own forks.

It's completely illogical and not normal at all, OP. You are picking things/places you're ok with and ones you're not ok with (e.g. specific restaurants) on the basis of absolutely zero reason whatsoever.

This is having an impact on your daily life, and it will affect your children if you don't seek help.

Not normal OP

You say it ruined a family holiday and you hardly ate for a week, and there are a lot of places you wouldn't eat...but that it doesn't affect your every day life. It clearly does though and it sounds it affecting your family's day to day lives as well

I'm the same OP and have the same thoughts as you

It's why I don't buy second hand things or eat food made by people who are not part of my household.

I'm not a clean/bleach freak or anything in my own house, and I've not always been like this.

I don't have any advice for you, but wanted to say you are not alone.

I think perhaps that if you feel that this is abnormal behaviour then you should go with how you feel and not what other people tell you to do. You are the only person who can make a change and if it is affecting your ability to enjoy things such as holidaying / fun activities then it is good that you are questioning it

I had to live in a flatshare for 4 months once due to a relationship breakup.
The kitchen was perfectly normal, not filthy but I just couldn't bring myself to use it. Survived off packaged sandwiches and the like.

I'm now permanently wfh and so have bought all new stuff that NO-ONE ELSE HAS EVER TOUCHED! (Especially insisted on a brand-new keyboard and mouse). Cos I can't have Office Germs in my house.

@skinnylov the average person sheds 400,000 skin cells a minute. These skin cells are everywhere around us. In the air, on everything we touch. You carry a hell of a lot of microbes in your own micro biome. It’s IMPOSSIBLE to get rid of everything (especially when people are involved!) so unless you are going to sterilise EVERYTHING with an ammonia based product (with a contact time of a minimum of 5mins…and even then you’re not guaranteed) there’s not much you can do only get counselling I say.

@Deguster I don’t see anything strange about it tbh

You don't see anything strange in scrubbing floors and putting everything in the dishwasher before using it when you go on holiday? The clue is in the word HOLIDAY

None of this is normal. It is impinging on normal life for you and those you live with, so I do not think it would make sense not to seek help.

This is why I would never use a cleaner either. I'd have to stand over them to check which cloth they used where. Just because something looks clean (eg a hotel room/hire car) doesn't mean it is.

Normal? No. Treatable? Yes.

This thread is extraordinary - there are a whole lot of people here who are terrified of germs / things strangers have touched. and this is NOT NORMAL. Just because the people who chose to reply say 'yes I think that' does not mean this reflects the population has a whole.

You don't have voting, but I'd guess that max 5% of people think like this. Everyone else just gets on with life. it is quite possible to eat stuff and touch stuff and move about without getting ill or worrying about it all the time.

if these thoughts and behaviours are causing you problems, please don't dismiss them or think it is normal. Talk to a therapist about OCD and get help.

I am exactly the same, I am not super clean at home yet I take my own pots and pans and buy cardboard plates and plastic cutlery.. I find it hard to eat as I am constantly thinking there is something icky in the air.. I didnt realise it was so abnormal

Am a slob. I have dogs and other animals. My house needs a good clean. Yet I can’t stand in the shower tray of a another house. I wear flip flops at the pool and leave them at the side as I get in. I figure chlorine nukes the nasties but I actually prefer to swim in a nice loch. I don’t mind mud, I don’t mind fish and the odd but if bird Poo but the thought of human hair down a drain and the amount of sperm in a hotel bed leaves me cold! Fortunately I still shag in hotels and eat out after scrutinising the cutlery but I can see how it becomes a bigger thing.

This behaviour is so far from normal. My mother had a germ phobia, but it pales in comparison to OP's.

It wouldn't occur to me to think of any of these things.

Very odd behaviour. I do think you germophobes should seek treatment.

How do you decide if a restaurant is good enough? I think its quite judgemental that you simply won't eat in a weatherspoons, but will eat in 'nicer' restaurants. You know nothing about either's hygiene standards behind closed doors, or who they hire to clean tables, cook etc. Is it the thought of the type of person that has come before you? I.e. if its in a hotel, caravan, Spoons, there could have been any old riff raff with their dirty snot etc depositing germs. But if its in your own home, your own friends, family, and 'certain' 'nicer' restaurants, the standard of people makes you feel less worried about catching something. Basically, the conditions attached to this seem like they could be perceived to be a bit.. judgy?