To think 7am is a lie in?

[Abottleofjuice]

Or not?

DD wakes at around 5, so when is a reasonable time to wake DH?

DH is currently in bed, we take it in turns, we don't set an alarm just let each other sleep ... He will come out of bed around 8:30 ish

7am is not a lie in. I say that having not one, but two children who woke at 4am for years. It's hideous and wears you down.

I also say that having a DH who 'struggles'. It's not ok for him to claim incompetence. Even if he is noisy, take the rest of not being up and making breakfast etc. Listen to an audiobook.

Do not have anymore children with this man unless he bucks his ideas up. Two children are a game changer in terms of needing help from a partner

My two youngest were up at 4.59am today - yes, 7am is a long lie!

Why does he struggle to take his own daughter out of the house?

Get some ear plugs and insist on your lie ins too. Or go and stay somewhere else overnight. I suspect if you force the issue, he will get much less noisy in the mornings.

I wouldn't let him have any lie ins until you get yours

DH and I don't "take turns" for long lies. Have never done this as it's unfair to land one parent to struggle on exhausted with two DC who wake very early. We both get up and settle them down separately so they know they cannot get up until 6am.

Ahh if he 'struggles' to do it on his own he needs practice
Men are not mind readers, they are not built the same as we are
You need to let your DH struggle to get his own way to settle DC as it will be different to your way, your not helping him in the long run, your preventing him precious bonding time

I don't understand this thinking. Why should you both suffer? Surely take turns!

I don't understand this thinking. Why should you both suffer? Surely take turns!

My point is that if he wont take turns, you do it together.

My 15 month old gets up before 6am most days and today the stars aligned and she got up at 7am. I bloody felt like that was a lie in.

my husband is a bit like yours in that he just will not get up early with her. However he will take her out for most of the day which I feel quite entitled to.

I think the people posting negatively clearly don't have a toddler waking at 5am! I've been in a similar position to you and yes if you have a toddler then 7am is a lie in and your partner should be grateful they don't have to get up at 5 like you!

For me 7am would be a lie in, my DD gets up between 5-6am. I’d wake him at 8am though

Yeah I reread the thread after posting and I completely missed where she said that. Which is stupid of me because it was in your comment. Brain is fried.

I don't think 7am is a lie in. We would take it in turns although DH often had to work Saturdays and just get up when we naturally woke up.
However I wouldn't just give in and start the day whenever my child was ready to. I get migraines if I'm tired, my kids had to learn to stay in bed.

Lol. No it’s not.

Id say 9.30am earliest (and obviously you should get the same). But we are both night owls.

My 5YO is up at a similar time and it's DH's turn for a lie-in. I will probably take him a coffee at 8.30am - mostly because I've got a horrible cold and I need to go back to bed for an hour before taking DS swimming

Ds wakes around 7. We take it in turns on weekends and one gets up with ds the other between 9-10 depending on what we have on. Week days dh is up at 530, I get up at 7 with ds.

invest in ear plugs for when it’s your turn to sleep and your DP will never get competent at organising time out and about with your DC if he never has to. I find it really surprising that he hasn’t had sole care for a good chunk of time before. I’m sure he can do it!

How old is she? 5am is night time, that’s crazy.

no, 7am is not a lie in. But you should both get the same

It entirely depends when you normally get up! The definition of a lie-in is lying in bed longer than your usual get up time. One person's lie in might be another's getting-up-at-the-crack-of-dawn.

Personally, I am normally up by 7am so 'lie in' kicks in any time after 7.

This is pathetic. Take child to park, to supermarket, to coffee shop, to soft play...Whatever. It's really not difficult (and often easier than being in the house).

I agree with @MrsTerryPratchett . If he 'struggles' so much with parenting, well he needs a lot more practice, doesn't he?

He struggles to get up.

He struggles to have her in the house quietly so you can sleep.

He struggles to have her out of the house.

He's quite the struggler, isn't he?

This ^

OP what on earth are you getting out of this? A grown man that 'struggles' so much, sounds like an extra bloody child. Stop excusing his pathetic behaviour. He won't improve no matter how far into the sand you put your head right now.

Well this is the real issue then.

He needs to get up with her one of the weekend mornings and you lie in until you wake and he gets the other with same conditions.

And if he doesn't wake then he doesn't get a lie in either day.

I agree with above poster that he seems to struggle a lot with being a parent.

Clearly he needs more time 1:1 with her to practice

Just hear yourself. You are making pathetic excuses. Struggle to have her for 4hours?? not great at leaving the house?? Are you listening to yourself. Please don't complain- when you support and indulge this nonsense.