To think 7am is a lie in?

[Abottleofjuice]

Or not?

DD wakes at around 5, so when is a reasonable time to wake DH?

This. Bloody good idea.

Like I say @Sexnotgender if I pushed it he would but like a PP it’s pointless when they are both so noisy. I’d rather let him sleep then give her breakfast. Just wondering if 7am is reasonable, I think it is!

What about leave him until 10am but he takes her out for 4 hours then? You need to get some rest.

God knows I needed it.

Ha - that wouldn’t happen. And to be fair he did have her for a while yesterday as took her to visit PIL.

Ha - that wouldn’t happen.

I think your relationship might be shit then. Sorry.

7am is totally reasonable as you don’t get a lie in because he’s conveniently noisy.

I don’t think we have a shit relationship, but I do think he’d struggle to have her out and about for four hours. He’s not great at leaving the house.

Your partner is a selfish dick!

He sounds quite lazy tbh.

He took her out - to his parents. You had time off - to work. So what you're saying is he doesn't look after her on his own and you don't get any breaks, you just get a window of child-free time to do other work.

No, he doesn't get a lie in then.

I think he's noisy and useless when it comes to getting up with DD because it works in his favour. Persist with it and get yourself some ear plugs! You should be getting a lay in

I'd do more than prod the lazy bastard. 7am is fine since he can't be bothered to get up and refuses to be quiet to allow you a lie in

He struggles to get up.

He struggles to have her in the house quietly so you can sleep.

He struggles to have her out of the house.

He's quite the struggler, isn't he?

FWIW I needed DH to be a man about these things. DD didn't like sleep and I needed some. So DH stepped up. What's funny is I am quite an early riser now (thanks DD) and I see so many men with prams stumbling about the streets , in the shopping centre, at the park, grey-faced and miserable. But clearly giving the women they love some peace. It always makes me smile.

I genuinely never understand posts like these. What you he do if you in hospitality for an extended period, or god forbid, died? Would he not be able to get out of bed or leave the house?
Fucking ridiculous

In light of this information then his get up time is the same as yours.

This would annoy me so much, I'd plan days away at a friend's or even in a hotel and then he has no choice but to get on with it. And I'd tell him plainly that if he brings nothing to my life, then one less person in the house will be that much less work for me.

I'm a single parent so I also don't get mornings off but I signed up for that. If I had a partner and he pulled this I'd just wake him even if I have to kick him out of the bed. And if he makes lots of noise on your mornings off, I'd return the courtesy on his !

Maybe you should buy DC a drum set.

DH and I always did fair share with DS.

There were a couple of occasions where DH didn't keep him quiet or let him come upstairs - it only happened a couple of times and soon stopped when I stopped keeping DS quiet too.

It is to me, but I have a 6 month old. Before having him I would say absolutely not 😂

10am is a lie in

My husband and I take turns sleeping in at the weekend. Today is his day and I won’t bother him before 10am. My toddler has been a bad sleeper in the past but we would take it in turns. I think it’s a bit sad if you can’t allow each other to have a decent lie in, and that goes both ways really! I’m also 9 months pregnant so I know if I want to go for a nap in the day, he will be fine to hold the fort. Men who don’t pull their weight, behave like that because they’re allowed to do so

@MoveBitch hmm but if I was dead they could make as much noise as they wanted. I’m not being facetious - DD knows I’m in the house and just doesn’t want DH first thing.

He can be a bit lazy but it’s partly my fault. I often think it’s just easier to do it myself and so I do. He’s taken her now anyway 😴

If you never get a turn, I think 7am is reasonable. Or 8 if you get a nap or proper time off in the afternoon.

Do go back to bed at 7 or just want the help?

He struggles to get up.

He struggles to have her in the house quietly so you can sleep.

He struggles to have her out of the house.

He's quite the struggler, isn't he?

I agree with this - it all sounds very convenient for him, doesn’t it? What would he do if you struggled with all these things too? He’s her father, not some random house guest - why on earth are you letting him play the incompetent card so freely? If she cries and screams when he gets up with her and then you get up - well, whatever half-assed shit ‘parenting’ he was pretending to do has really paid off for him! If you didn’t get up, however, and just left him to work it out, every single time, I imagine the situation would sort itself out.

DH wasn’t like this, because he’s not an idle dick, but if he had been, it would have been on him to work out how he was going to do his share of the parenting competently even so.

DD will get used to your DH getting her up. It's just a change in her routine for now. It just needs to be done on a regular basis.

You're being a martyr - he ends to get better at having her / leaving the house with her and won't if you continue to enable him

Unless she is unsafe with him (in which case you would have much bigger worries) then you need to make changes