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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being "stalked" by Peri-Whisperer

117 replies

FatCatSkinnyRat · 08/07/2022 19:55

I have a friend who has become a "therapist" in peri-menopause and has started holding weekend workshops to "equip women with tools for facing peri-menopause head on". I think it is hypnotherapy / thought control kind of stuff.

The thing is, even though I am 49, I don't have symptoms yet so I am OK actually for now. The first time she messaged me it was on FB as part of a group message so I just deleted.

Then, she messaged me directly and said "Hey hun just wondering if you will be joining us for peri-fest?" and forwarded on the original email. I replied that I am OK for now but will keep it in mind if issues arise.

The she started texting me directly, with the message "you are probably experiencing anxiety and fear around the upcoming peri-menopause - come and face it head on with us on xx weekend! I am here if you need!" I again replied "I am OK for now, thank you, please don't send me any more info about peri-fest. I will let you know if I need it".

She then messages my husband! "See if you can get FatCat to come to peri-fest! It will make her life (and yours!) much easier during the transition through the menopause. Even if she is not suffering now she definitely will be soon and it is best to get in front of it!"

I was so pissed off at this last one and have disengaged with her on FB and blocked her number on my phone. It is a shame I had to do this but it was getting too much. The problem is my DH has just started working with her DH. He thinks I should go to it not to talk about peri-menopause but to support my friend (by buying a ticket) who recently jacked in her stable career to become some kind of peri-whisperer.

But frankly I resent being fear mongered to, and basically stalked until I say yes. It feels like me to be some weird offshoot of a MLM by using friend network. My DH thinks I should just chill and go. The whole thought of the even makes me shudder. Plus I would just resent it all day. AIBU?

OP posts:
chilledbubble · 08/07/2022 19:57

Tell DH he can go

DameCelia · 08/07/2022 19:58

Tell her your ovaries shut down spontaneously when you read her messages because you were cringeing so much, and in fact you are now out the other side symptom free.

ShirleyPhallus · 08/07/2022 19:58

i thought this was going to be something about peri peri sauce so every time she messages you you should reply with a picture of a different peri sauce and nothing else. I bet she’ll stop before you do

DameCelia · 08/07/2022 20:00

Alternatively ask her whether peri-fest will be covering the risks of women giving up stable careers to set up MLM woo alternatives to HRT.

BiscuitLover3678 · 08/07/2022 20:00

Omg just reading this is pissing me off on your behalf!
You’ve said you don’t want to go. Yes it could be useful and interesting but by her attitude I’d already be put off.

Waterfallgirl · 08/07/2022 20:00

ShirleyPhallus · 08/07/2022 19:58

i thought this was going to be something about peri peri sauce so every time she messages you you should reply with a picture of a different peri sauce and nothing else. I bet she’ll stop before you do

😂😂😂 do this !

MrsSebastianStan · 08/07/2022 20:01

The answer is obvious. If your DH thinks your friend needs support, HE buys a ticket and goes to it, so he is equipped to support you when the time comes.

Wasywasydoodah · 08/07/2022 20:01

A whole day talking about peri menopause? That sounds terrible. I’m with you, block, don’t engage.

MissConductUS · 08/07/2022 20:02

It sounds like she has a closet full of overpriced herbal supplements she's trying to sell.

Waterfallgirl · 08/07/2022 20:02

It definitely does have an MLM vibe about it. Don’t give in / but I think you may have lost a friend, sadly.

whoamitodisabrie · 08/07/2022 20:02

When I read the title I thought it was someone who lived Nando’s 😂

yeah that’s miles out. No means no means no.

whoamitodisabrie · 08/07/2022 20:02

Loved nandos*

MagdaS · 08/07/2022 20:03

I’m very peri at only 43 and totally pissed off
about it. I still wouldn’t go to some bullshit woo event like this.

stuntbubbles · 08/07/2022 20:04

ShirleyPhallus · 08/07/2022 19:58

i thought this was going to be something about peri peri sauce so every time she messages you you should reply with a picture of a different peri sauce and nothing else. I bet she’ll stop before you do

Do this! Organise a conflicting day out at Nando’s and invite her right back to your own peri-fest.

Original poster
FatCatSkinnyRat · 08/07/2022 20:05

I am laughing so much at some of these responses. Thank you. Really fancy a Nandos now.

OP posts:
AssignedSlytherinAtBirth · 08/07/2022 20:07

Stick to your guns. Bloody cheek! I think you might need to be a bit less polite so that you get through to her "There is no chance that I will be coming." But it's not necessarily hell going through the menopause. Mine was OK - luck of the draw. So you might not need that advice after all and you have MN.

HannahSternDefoe · 08/07/2022 20:09

MrsSebastianStan · 08/07/2022 20:01

The answer is obvious. If your DH thinks your friend needs support, HE buys a ticket and goes to it, so he is equipped to support you when the time comes.

^This.

FreyaStorm · 08/07/2022 20:09

What a bore she is.

Keep this one blocked before she gives you a complex about peri suffering!

I had to ghost a friend who kept badgering me to do Reiki which I personally think can open you up to evil/bad influences. She also worshipped Baphomet and had threatened to do black magic (and maybe did) on people who had crossed her. This made me even more resistant than if it was one of my non woo friends giving it a go. There were other reasons too that I had to let the friendship go.

WishILivedInThrushGreen · 08/07/2022 20:09

I'm all for having access to information on peri-menopause but you don't need feckin' classes or group therapy on it.

Jeez!

britneyisfree · 08/07/2022 20:13

🤣🤣🤣your friend is mental. Don't go. Would piss me right off. How dare she contact your hubby because she wants you to boost her income. Agesim!!!!!

Wellthatsachangeforthebetter · 08/07/2022 20:13

I want to know more how much are the tickets to peri-fest? What is happening at peri-fest? Im imagining circles of frazzled women talking, sound healing (your friend banging a gong and talking in tongues) maybe some empowering chanting and dancing, vile herbal drinks scant food, to keep costs down and maximise profits.

chilledbubble · 08/07/2022 20:14

ShirleyPhallus · 08/07/2022 19:58

i thought this was going to be something about peri peri sauce so every time she messages you you should reply with a picture of a different peri sauce and nothing else. I bet she’ll stop before you do

Me too!

ChampagneLassie · 08/07/2022 20:20

Wellthatsachangeforthebetter · 08/07/2022 20:13

I want to know more how much are the tickets to peri-fest? What is happening at peri-fest? Im imagining circles of frazzled women talking, sound healing (your friend banging a gong and talking in tongues) maybe some empowering chanting and dancing, vile herbal drinks scant food, to keep costs down and maximise profits.

I'm trying to nurse my baby to sleep and I had to try to stifle my shakes from laughing at "talking in tounges*

AmaryIlis · 08/07/2022 20:21

The mere fact that she told your DH that you will definitely be suffering soon from the peri-menopause soon tells you that she knows fuck all about it. As pointed out, it certainly isn't inevitable - I'm another one who had an OK menopause with no woo sessions, no HRT, no nothing. Currently absolutely loving not having to deal with periods any more.

godmum56 · 08/07/2022 20:24

Its the monetising of it that annoys me.