Being "stalked" by Peri-Whisperer

[FatCatSkinnyRat]

I have a friend who has become a "therapist" in peri-menopause and has started holding weekend workshops to "equip women with tools for facing peri-menopause head on". I think it is hypnotherapy / thought control kind of stuff.

The thing is, even though I am 49, I don't have symptoms yet so I am OK actually for now. The first time she messaged me it was on FB as part of a group message so I just deleted.

Then, she messaged me directly and said "Hey hun just wondering if you will be joining us for peri-fest?" and forwarded on the original email. I replied that I am OK for now but will keep it in mind if issues arise.

The she started texting me directly, with the message "you are probably experiencing anxiety and fear around the upcoming peri-menopause - come and face it head on with us on xx weekend! I am here if you need!" I again replied "I am OK for now, thank you, please don't send me any more info about peri-fest. I will let you know if I need it".

She then messages my husband! "See if you can get FatCat to come to peri-fest! It will make her life (and yours!) much easier during the transition through the menopause. Even if she is not suffering now she definitely will be soon and it is best to get in front of it!"

I was so pissed off at this last one and have disengaged with her on FB and blocked her number on my phone. It is a shame I had to do this but it was getting too much. The problem is my DH has just started working with her DH. He thinks I should go to it not to talk about peri-menopause but to support my friend (by buying a ticket) who recently jacked in her stable career to become some kind of peri-whisperer.

But frankly I resent being fear mongered to, and basically stalked until I say yes. It feels like me to be some weird offshoot of a MLM by using friend network. My DH thinks I should just chill and go. The whole thought of the even makes me shudder. Plus I would just resent it all day. AIBU?

Found the website. One of the peri-fest contributors is a Certified Priestess Numerologist.

After decades of shelling out for sanitary products and having period pain, I would be raging at someone trying to scam me around menopause!

All in favour of information (and help if needed) being available, but everyone's experience is different and quite a lot of people have minimal issues. I found knowing when my mother and grandmother had theirs helpful, less so was a well meaning GP pushing HRT even when I told her I was managing fine.

I’d definitely be replying that if and when I needed help with perimenopause symptoms I’d go to my qualified health care providers. With that emphasis

Yes, this times a hundred! I really think this topic is being overdone in the media.

Someone needs to tell her to sit on her hands.

She sounds an absolute nightmare. I had no symptoms I noticed and wasn't really aware of a peri menopause until presumably coming out the other side at almost 60.

You mean DH now wants you to go to give him am easy life at work 🙄

Dont reply to her or him. Tune it out and change the conversation. I like how direct you were with her, do the same with DH.

If I've got the right page, one of her supporters has this cheery message: "I see on a daily basis the depth of fear, self-loathing, sadness, depression, and physical deterioration in women." So that's something to look forward to.

It seems to me that this is counter-productive. if you go into these sessions feeling fine, you will come out utterly dreading the menopause because they are so convinced it will never be anything other than awful. Which is stupid.

Urrgh this woman sounds awful! Agree that it really does sound suspiciously like an mlm.

Properly snorted with laughter at ‘Jehovaries Witnesses’ Villanellescoat!!

😁😁

Oh Villane my reading comprehension failed me when I skim read. Very funny.

The website name says it all. It’s like the traveling snake oil salesmen of the past.

All of those women involved seem nuts. Who would spend an entire weekend at an event like this?

I think it's about time someone had a chat with her about boundaries.

@AmaryIlis I agree, likely to be counterproductive. Scams have always used emotive language and tried to activate fear to keep people on-message. The last thing this group of peri-commercialising women need is pragmatism, they need to whip up customers and there’s nothing like a cult-like immersion experience, focussing on the negative with emotive language and teaching hyper-vigilance for symptoms for increasing anxiety in people. And anxiety means return customers. Then those anxious or pessimistic people need to be shown (sold) the “solution” (at a price).

I had a terrible menopause so I am not making light of it and I can see why people go in search of kinship. The exploitation of that concern or difficulty isn’t great.

I have a good friend who went down the alternative route for managing her menopause (and why not see what might help you, nothing wrong with that). She got caught up with an alternative practitioner who scared the shit out of her about HRT. I know she paid a lot of money for a coachy/woo therapy/buy-my-supplements “treatment protocol” that when it didn’t work the meno-therapist got arsey with my friend for “not doing the therapy right”. “Luckily” my friend got made redundant so trimmed a few costs and discovered she felt no worse without the meno-scammer. She’s was fine once she saw a properly trained person and had the risks and benefits of HRT explained. The woman my friend saw has a partner/associate who is a breast cancer coach. She’s recently told a friend of mine to avoid chemo. So wellness coaching can be properly dangerous 🙁

I feel deeply cynical about all these women-focussed coaching endeavours with their exploitative MLMy undertones. I feel sorry for coaches with genuine expertise in their field as the term “coach” is rapidly becoming shorthand for all sorts of charlatans.

Yeah, massive scam obviously.

However, even if it wasn’t, her pushiness would still be absolutely out of order. Not everyone likes spend hours talking about health issues and sharing everything with a bunch of strangers - I can’t think of anything more tedious. It’s intrusive and patronising to tell someone they must be suffering from anxiety if they don’t want to come to some crappy event, and it’s beyond rude to get her husband to talk to yours at work. What the fuck has your reproductive status got to do even with her, let alone her bloody husband?

Once you’d said no, she should have shut up.

I am disappointed that this thread isn’t about chicken- preferably grilled on the beach.

Blocking is pretty dramatic. I’d have just said I wasn’t menopausal and politely asked her to stop inviting me.

Op did that a few times. She blocked her when the lady contacted her husband.