Autism isn't a fucking superpower !!

[lollipoprainbow]

Sorry but it's really not. I'm currently doing an online autism course with a lovely bunch of parents and the teacher of the course is sweet but she will keep referring to autism as a superpower and everyone chuckles and agrees!! If they could see how distressed my dd10 is every day, having massive meltdowns about her looks etc they'd have a different view.

Anyone else agree with me ??

Sorry, just to add that once the children became about 12 years old the parents seemed to disappear and it was only when my boy got into his teens that I understood why.

5zeds - I think you’d run a very nice group for those who have older children who are more severely impacted by their autism and other DX that can go hand in hand with it.

I've also heard people with aspergers syndrome compared to swans. Because they look serene but under the water they are frantically paddling.

Pahaha, DD is frantically paddling above the surface almost all the time.
I have dreamed of seeing her serene, she never has been in her life.

I hate the assumptions by adults who have autism that:
I'm a crap parent to DS because I'm NT.
My DS has autism and I'm just in denial (5 screening tests say no).
If he doesn't have friends that's his choice and should be respected.
All his other choices should be respected (he's 10 so, er, no).
I don't want him at a specialist school because I'm ablist.
All other autistic people think just like them (they round on anyone who wants to say they have autism, rather than they are autistic - and I saw an ad for an independent living home for adults with autism where the walls were white. Apparently no adults with autism want white walls).

There is a group on Facebook for parents of severely autistic children you should be able to find it ,it's An American group ..

If its the group based in the US i think I'm on it ,but thank you 😊

My DD absolutely is disabled by her brain.

She is unlikely to live independe

Oops said DD made me press send..

Unable to live independently. She can't keep herself safe. She has no social skills at all. She has no social awareness

That documentary stayed with me. I still think about it from time to time. I wonder how that woman with the son who would randomly attack her is getting on now. She was so tiny and her son was getting so much stronger than her and she said she wouldn't be able to control him much longer Really worth a watch if anyone hasn't seen it, although it's quite difficult watching at some points.

@Hugasauras yes, if anyone has a superpower, it's her.

I'm not even convinced that my son has autism but every time I point out something he does which isn't typical of children with autism, they just say, "it's a broad spectrum" so it's impossible for them to be wrong.

I hope that in the future they will understand what's actually happening and they'll be able to really help people.

I am "high functioning" I have a professional career, husband, kids, loads of friends on Facebook, acquaintances like me because i'm the quirky one with the sideways look at things and all that. I do not want my children to be autistic because I do not want them to experience the soul crushing difficulties I do and did as a kid, the loneliness, the job hopping, the constant knot in the stomach, the meltdowns and shutdowns over the smallest things, the sudden realisation you've taken things too far the wrong way and blown another chance at having a real friend, the self harm and the suicide attempts. I'm glad others have a better time of it but I'm allowed to hate my own brain without being sorry for feeling like that.

This kind of utter bullshit makes me fume. Autism is a disability. It makes life challenging. My own dc will never live independently. My dp is high functioning but has struggled with communication and work his whole life. This kind of language negates the hardship of living with a disability.

It is and it isn't, depends on the person.

I don't think we'd have music, maths or the internet without the brilliant neurodiverse brains of some autistic people. I really do think autistic people have contributed hugely to our culture and I guess you could see this as superpowers maybe. I'm pretty certain I have ADHD and it has caused me a lot of difficulty BUT I think it has also made me really creative.

But autism can also be profoundly disabling and cause a lot of shit in one's life. (two autistic teen daughters here) And if I was doing your course I would also find this massively patronising and annoying.

@5zeds the group I mentioned is called ,support group for parents of severely autistic children and LD I'm sorry I can't do links also I don't know how old your son is but there are parents with young adults too, it's An American group as I said but I find it quite helpful

My son is 31. Are there any parents of older adults?

Yes there are definitely parents of adults on there .

I hate the word "autism" because I feel it's too much of an umbrella term.

Take these two children.
Child A: extremely intelligent, thrives in school, but very rude and doesn't care about making friends.
Child B: wheelchair-bound, can't walk or talk, or even think for himself.

Both of their disabilities are explained by autism. It's not a superpower.

Child A: extremely intelligent, thrives in school, but very rude and doesn't care about making friends.

That's not it though; nobody is being diagnosed because they are rude and don't care about making friends. The deficits that lead to that will be present through the child's lifetime. It's a bit more than being rude.

Child B: wheelchair-bound, can't walk or talk, or even think for himself.

Does autism affect mobility to the point of needing a wheelchair?

Agreed and it minimises the struggles of both children, I don't really find it a helpful diagnosis

I know some children who need to use a wheelchair because it's the only way they can be safec out and about due to their extreme behavioral issues
My son gets the highest rate of mobility ,he doesn't use a wheelchair but I.proved at tribunal he has severe mental impairment

Ds has a wheelchair from wheelchair services. His autism and related problems are the main reason he needs to use it.

I think many people have an exceptionally stereotypical view of autism which is far from the reality of many parents.

Many severely autistic people are in wheelchairs, some have feeding tubes because they can't grasp the idea of eating or drinking. Some have practically no intelligence, not knowing what's going on around them at all.

Even with the above posters A and B it can be much more complicated than that.

ds is just coming ro the end of year 7, he has full time 1-1 and is excelling academically.

he couldn’t name one other child in his class.

he is tube fed because he doesn’t eat anywhere near enough orally.

the rare occasions he can go out he using a wheelchair

Does autism affect mobility to the point of needing a wheelchair?

it’s not just mobility - hyper mobile joints for eg. It can even be because it’s safer for the person to be in a wheelchair.

This is the group I'm in. I've found it incredibly helpful and supportive.

The thing is, no matter your own feelings about autism, you don't get to tell others (especially those who have direct experience) how they should feel or speak.