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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Autism isn't a fucking superpower !!

162 replies

lollipoprainbow · 08/07/2022 12:57

Sorry but it's really not. I'm currently doing an online autism course with a lovely bunch of parents and the teacher of the course is sweet but she will keep referring to autism as a superpower and everyone chuckles and agrees!! If they could see how distressed my dd10 is every day, having massive meltdowns about her looks etc they'd have a different view.

Anyone else agree with me ??

OP posts:
BessieFinkNottle · 08/07/2022 13:26

Hugasauras · 08/07/2022 13:08

I can see why some people say it about themselves, as an attempt to reframe it more positively. And for some people they might genuinely feel their autism does give them something special or an added bonus. But given the huge variations in severity of ASD, it's incredibly tone deaf for anyone to say that to parents who might have children who are totally non-verbal, violent, unable to be toilet trained, etc. It's almost patronising, really, isn't it? Some parents have incredibly difficult lives and certainly don't consider autism a super power.

Really, it should be solely up to the person with the condition whether they want to view it as a super power or not, not some external third party.

Completely agree with this.
As another pp said, this superpower business mostly feels like gaslighting to me.

CaptainThe95thRifles · 08/07/2022 13:28

It's such a stupid thing to say. Absolutely no thought for those whose experiences are very different.

Snowflakes1122 · 08/07/2022 13:29

Yes, I have seen this phrase used. I find it odd and patronising as a parent who lives it daily with a DC

SleepWhenAmDead · 08/07/2022 13:29

I think I would ask the teacher to explain herself. It does feel like gaslighting and minimising the difficulties. Everyone is very busy and parents' time is very valuable. Parents aren't on that course because their kids have a superpower. Clearly the teacher has limited relevant practical experience if she is saying this.

I am quite long in the tooth and grumpy though. I have had enough of box ticking, window dressing and lip service. Rant over.

Notagain76 · 08/07/2022 13:35

I agree it’s not a super power but the people who live with it are super just like everyone else, and sometimes you need to think of you child or who ever as being super. My son has so many diagnoses but he is super in how he copes the best he can. Don’t get me wrong it’s not something I thought would take over our lives like it has but he’s still my lad

FlappyCats · 08/07/2022 13:36

It's not a superpower it's the cause of so much pain and sadness for my beautiful DS.

Justrealised · 08/07/2022 13:42

Definitely not a superpower. It's a disability and a horrible condition at that.

I'd remove it from my son in a heartbeat if I could.

JellyBellyNelly · 08/07/2022 13:47

Notagain76 · 08/07/2022 13:35

I agree it’s not a super power but the people who live with it are super just like everyone else, and sometimes you need to think of you child or who ever as being super. My son has so many diagnoses but he is super in how he copes the best he can. Don’t get me wrong it’s not something I thought would take over our lives like it has but he’s still my lad

My now adult son also has multiple DX and is unfortunately deteriorating the older he gets which is something I now know can happens with those who are like him.

Not considering autism a superpower is far different from not considering your child (regardless of how old they are) super.

Onceuponatimethen · 08/07/2022 13:51

My ds feels it is for him. I think it’s his right to hold that view

JellyBellyNelly · 08/07/2022 13:54

Onceuponatimethen · 08/07/2022 13:51

My ds feels it is for him. I think it’s his right to hold that view

Of course it’s his right to hold that view but it’s not the teachers right (nor is it correct) to imply it is for everyone.

oakleaffy · 08/07/2022 13:55

''Superpower?''
That's just nuts.
It's like when people who get sick headaches/migraines they are told ''Only intelligent people get migraines''
It's trying to put a positive spin on something that is not easy to deal with.

Howabsolutelyfanfuckingtastic · 08/07/2022 13:56

Ofcourse autism is not a superpower, it is a disability that will unfortunately have quite a negative effect on many peoples lives who live with it and their families.
I would think in all honesty that no one would choose to have autism.
It sounds like the teacher means well but it's quite ignorant in my opinion.

ofwarren · 08/07/2022 13:56

Onceuponatimethen · 08/07/2022 13:51

My ds feels it is for him. I think it’s his right to hold that view

It definitely is right for him and good on him!
I just don't think a teacher should generalise as it isn't for probably most autistic people.

Excited101 · 08/07/2022 13:57

And unfortunately you get all this with other disabilities too. “Look at how much this person with Down’s syndrome has achieved”, “they’re just so loving”. Never is it about all the difficulties that they and their families will suffer from. So many people think about how they could never abort a baby if they found out it had downs, how awful that is etc. but the reality, like with ASD is often so so different.

I’ve worked with some very disabled children with ASD and I’d have given anything for them not to have it, it wasn’t a superpower, it was an anchor pinning them down to the bottom of the ocean.

KingofLoss · 08/07/2022 13:58

It’s incredibly insensitive.

it’s up there with people trying to characterise everyone with Down syndrome as being only slightly affected and able to live a completely ‘normal’ life in order to pressure parents into not terminating.

BiscoffSundae · 08/07/2022 13:58

No it isn’t, my daughter couldn’t take part in her sports day today she had to spend the whole time under a tree sitting on the floor with her 1:1 as she couldn’t cope with it, not sure how it’s meant to be a super power it really impacts on her, but each to their own

Lindy2 · 08/07/2022 13:58

No superpower here. Just simply a lot of stress, worry and tears.

I was on a course once where the teacher said ASD and autism aren't a disability.

I think she was stunned when I spoke up and said that actually my DD finding it so much more difficult and sometimes actually completely impossible, to do the things that she needs to is actually a very significant disability.

Her life is harder and a lot more difficult than it should be. Everyone around her has more challenges than they should do. I don't see any lovely glossy superpower in that.

loislovesstewie · 08/07/2022 13:59

No, it isn't. It creates huge issues both for the autistic person and for their loved ones. Constantly having to explain why the world doesn't work according to the thoughts of my DS causes me stress, and he is anxious because it is just wrong. Then there is the bullying he has had to endure, the list is endless.

jeaux90 · 08/07/2022 14:01

It's not a superpower.

That's just stupid.

It can be a bit like being a MAC in a PC world though. My DD13 is very different from her NT friends. Both have their plus and minuses.

SemperIdem · 08/07/2022 14:01

I understand it is meant well and using more positive language is a good thing.

But I think in this instance it is quite dismissive of people do struggle because of their ASD.

feedyourheed · 08/07/2022 14:02

My son has autism. His life is very difficult and he struggles with many things but he also has some unusual talents that could help him do something amazing when he is older. Bu tin general, no autism is not a superpower and while there may be many autistic geniuses their personal lives are still very difficult.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 08/07/2022 14:02

Calling it a "superpower" is so bloody tone-deaf

I agree, but it's noticeable that nobody said that when Greta Thunberg coined the phrase - at least I think it was her?

At the time folk were repeating it constantly on the back of this "wonderful person" and anyone who dissented was slaughtered

Thelnebriati · 08/07/2022 14:03

Have you heard of 'toxic positivity', and would you be brave enough to bring it up and ask them to stop?
www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-positivity-5093958

x2boys · 08/07/2022 14:04

Onceuponatimethen · 08/07/2022 13:51

My ds feels it is for him. I think it’s his right to hold that view

Of course it is but I assume he doesn't generalise and think it's a super power for everybody who has a diagnosis?

x2boys · 08/07/2022 14:08

Lindy2 · 08/07/2022 13:58

No superpower here. Just simply a lot of stress, worry and tears.

I was on a course once where the teacher said ASD and autism aren't a disability.

I think she was stunned when I spoke up and said that actually my DD finding it so much more difficult and sometimes actually completely impossible, to do the things that she needs to is actually a very significant disability.

Her life is harder and a lot more difficult than it should be. Everyone around her has more challenges than they should do. I don't see any lovely glossy superpower in that.

A teacher said that??
How incredibly ignorant ,she shouldn't be teaching s course if she comes out with that kind of crap.