Autism isn't a fucking superpower !!

[lollipoprainbow]

Sorry but it's really not. I'm currently doing an online autism course with a lovely bunch of parents and the teacher of the course is sweet but she will keep referring to autism as a superpower and everyone chuckles and agrees!! If they could see how distressed my dd10 is every day, having massive meltdowns about her looks etc they'd have a different view.

Anyone else agree with me ??

I don't think my dd would agree either, but I once asked her if she would prefer not to be autistic (or something like that- i think I phrased it differently) and she said no, as it is what makes her, her.

If you use the social model of disability (which you should) it isn't autism that disables, but the society and neurotypical world.

So no, it isn't a superpower, but I also don't agree with some of the ways it is described here.

It's one of those phrases that REALLY fucks me off. It undermines the pain and struggle that most some people with Autism go through on a daily basis. It's ableist. It suggests the viewpoint of those who have a negative experience is not valid. It's just shit, as most trite phrases are tbh.

I think there is an aspect that thinking around disability in general has been changed over the last 20 years.
I have a dd who is nearly 20yo who with a physical disability, and I've seen a of a change in attitude over that time. Some of it is positive, but I'm not sure it is totally.

When she was born I found the attitude was much quieter around it. The children got on and almost always did what "normal" children did. If they didn't manage though, there wasn't much help available.
Now I see blogs/news with "this amazing child who has done XYZ" and I'm more bemused that they thought they wouldn't do it than anything else because all the children I knew did it without more than a minor hiccup.

But the other way too. When there's things they will struggle to do, if anyone says that, then there's great indignation that they should be able to do anything and everything and an aspect of thinking if money is thrown (normally other people's) at it, then it can be solved. Or if it isn't then everyone else should adjust to them.
Unfortunately there are some things that this group of children will find very difficult and will struggle to compete/achieve at the same level as their peers who don't have this disability. That's why we have things like the Paralympics.

It is positive in that there is more assistance available. On the whole children don't get excluded from an activity because it's assumed they can't, and parents and teachers take the line of how can we make sure everyone is included rather than "just sit down quietly over there and don't make a fuss, dear". And if they do try that, then there are lines of complaint that should take it seriously.
Children are more inclined to accept difference and it's great that on TV we see more inclusivity, and children do get very excited at seeing someone "like me" and it boosts their self esteem.

But I'm not sure the attitude of "isn't it amazing" is always helpful. My dd commented one time that she found it far more insulting that they thought she wouldn't manage something than nice to be praised, for example.

I have seen recently someone describing dd's disability as a "superpower". It isn't. It really isn't. It seems amazing to anyone who hasn't got it that she can do some things, but to her it's just as normal as your body is to you. And it does cause problems, both directly due to her disability, and in later life when I can confidently tell you which parts of her body are going to wear out sooner due to overwork.
It does mean she has done things that her siblings haven't. Her disability has given her some opportunities that most children don't get. It still isn't a superpower, and those opportunities don't compensate for what she's missing.

My son has recently been diagnosed with ASD and it’s frustrating to find how many preconceived ideas people have about what it means. I’d definitely be annoyed if someone described it as a “superpower” (very patronising for a start!)

Agreed. Also “I wouldn’t change a thing about my child, they are perfect as they are” - good for you, I would change autism if I could, for my child’s sake.

We have this argument every few weeks on here. A double edged sword is a good description for many. Obviously with it being a spectrum some struggle more than they benefit, some benefit more than they struggle. As an autistic though I do find it offensive/demoralising/dehumanising when parents of autistic children so fiercely insist that it's just all bad and their kid is nothing but a sufferer. My mum and I are both autistic, she was talking about a struggle she has at work when she tells her colleagues to think a certain way to problem solve, and I'm like "yeah... neurotypicals aren't very good at that." (It's a way of visualising that's hugely helpful and allows me to solve complicated maths problems in my head, I just put the whiteboard up and write it down. Like if anyone's seen the queen's bandit how you see the chessboard is how I can actually see it.) I struggle s

I'm autistic. It is definitely a double edged sword and I'm glad there is more awareness now BUT the recent trend for basing everyone in this 'superpower' group is harmful for those at the more severe end of the spectrum. It seems to me at the moment that it's trendy to be autistic. It's a fucking pain in the arse.

I am autistic, as are my children, and we get annoyed when people talk about our 'superpowers'. It's such a cliché. Even autistic 'influencers' on social media etc keep parroting this phrase and boast about how incredibly special and successful they are because of their Autism. It makes me feel rubbish, like I'm not properly autistic and can't succeed at life like them. My son is actually a maths & musical genius (Maths MA distinction etc) but can't get a proper job because he doesn't come across as neurotypical. My daughter has had to drop out of university because of the stress. For us our Autism just seems to hold us back.

Thumb slipped. I struggle socially and with sensory stuff. But if everyone was autistic I'd be fine, it's neurotypicals and their unnecessary physical contact and complicated "social norms" that are the problem for me.
Not the case for all autistics, it's a spectrum but don't make sweeping statements about autism when you don't like hearing sweeping statements about autism.

Agree I worked with young people with DS and it’s very much a spectrum like autism.

It helps SOME autistic people to think of it like that. I have a severely autistic son and I'm not bothered by that personally.

DS has ADHD and some traits of autism. We are forever being told about all the celebs who have ADHD. Let's forget the huge number in the prison population, eh?

@Willowcat77 totally get you. I've got a Maths first and a programming background and have a crappy work-from-home clickworker job as I can barely leave the house and no way could I get through an interview.

I think comments like “it’s society that needs to change” or “if everyone was autistic I would be fine” are short sighted and very naïve.

there isn’t a standard presentation of autism so how would their be a standard world that would remove all struggles for people with autism?

I’ve read about the symptoms of autism, but if some of you who have experience with autistic children could explain to me what it’s like in day-to-day life, I’d really appreciate it. Some real life examples would really help me understand, because I’ve sometimes wondered if maybe I have it. ❤️

I’ve been horrified to see DS charities show their support for attempts to ban late term abortions when the baby has DS.

Anyone who thinks autism is a superpower is ignorant. She sounds like a total arsehole, why not educate her @lollipoprainbow

”Autism is a superpower” is up there with “everyone is on the spectrum somewhere”. I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count the amount of times people have said them to me.

Autism is a disability, autistic people, same as everyone, can have enormous strengths and the common autistic trait of excellent focus helps to make those talents well practiced. Then there are some geniuses with autism and there does seem to be a link with that level of intelligence and autistic traits but that is it. No superpowers in sight.

That said my kids are autistic or have autistic traits. They have struggled with their ND but then they have struggled with other things too. I believe that the struggles we face in life within reason (I'm not talking about significant trauma here) can help us to adapt and grow. I think facing struggles has made my kids grow and adapt in positive ways.

I hear you. And yes. Some things are just for family to know.

I think it entirely depends on your perspective. My DH is autistic and sees it as his superpower but then he's a top scientist, researching his special interest, and his autistic way of thinking takes his research to places nobody else would think about. But he has no friends at all, never has. But that doesn't bother him. He does not want his autism to be cured.

I'm also autistic. I've never held down a job, I struggle with friendships and social situations. I hate being autistic and the struggles it brings me. I'd take a cure in a heartbeat. My children are also autistic and my heart breaks from their loneliness.

Agree completely.

Patronising nonsense.

I don't know a single person with autism that would describe it as a positive.

Autistic here. With two autistic DC.

Your right it's not.

My ds6 is very very intelligent yet struggles with socialising. My ds11 has a learning disability with it, yet is great with masking which in turn means horrific meltdowns at home.

Me. I struggle with social queues, social skills, conversations, expectations, I hate autism. People need to stop with this super power crap, it's extremely insulting to the community.
we don't fucking like it.

Everybody presents differently, so they can only talk about their own experience or child's presentation of autism ,my son has a diagnosis of autism and has severe and complex needs, his needs will be very different to other adults/ children with autism

@Sierra1961
There is a neurodiverse mumsnetters board over in the special needs section. Come over there and ask the question. We all have autism or ADHD and other NDs.

For some of those on the spectrum there is very little that is good and they do suffer and it’s not for you to say they don’t because you’re not them and you more than likely don’t know them.

Suffice to say that it’s about as bad as it gets for my son and despite our best efforts over decades he really suffers because of his autism and related DX. That said however, he makes my heart sing with the joy of him and I’d give my life for him.