Autism isn't a fucking superpower !!

[lollipoprainbow]

Sorry but it's really not. I'm currently doing an online autism course with a lovely bunch of parents and the teacher of the course is sweet but she will keep referring to autism as a superpower and everyone chuckles and agrees!! If they could see how distressed my dd10 is every day, having massive meltdowns about her looks etc they'd have a different view.

Anyone else agree with me ??

My son with HFA has the most highly tuned bullshit detector of anyone I’ve ever met. That in itself is his superpower. The autism is not, and presents a great many difficulties for him.
He may have had that had he not been born autistic. Who knows?

My ds has autism, it's no bloody superpower that's for sure.

I would have walked out. My son is in his 20’s and severely autistic. Just because autism wasn’t enough for him to deal with, epilepsy was thrown into the mix at 14. I won’t write on social media some of the things he does but life isn’t pleasant for him or for us as a family. We love him with everything we have but I’d give anything to see him happy, with a smile on his face enjoying life.

Next time why not challenge it with something like

"Well ignorance must be a superpower too if it allows you to run these courses"

Some people with autism have very specific skill sets that set them apart - for my ds it's coding.

But the real struggles his autism brings him certainly are not.

I was diagnosed with Asperger's (now HFASD) more than 10 years ago, in my early 30s.

(Personally, I don't like the 'all-in' aspect of the blanket ASD diagnosis, but that's an argument for another day.)

I am the poster girl for 'oooh, you don't look autistic': I have a senior professional role, a relationship, a home, I make eye contact etc. There are elements of my ND brain that are useful to me.

However, my experience of autism is very different to that of a non-verbal person, or a parent with a severely autistic child (or even that of my NT mother's experience of bringing me up - girls in the 1980s/90s 'didn't have autism' and she faced many challenges). I don't get to speak for those people.

I am a very strong advocate of 'nothing about us without us' and I think it's highly inappropriate that NT people feel able to decide what autism is or is not.

As the maxim goes, if you've met one autistic person, congratulations: you've met one autistic person.

I really feel for you. My DH has late diagnosed ASD and Bi-polar, it's got worse over the years and I walk on eggshells every single day. I get support but it's daily, unexpected stuff that shakes me up and grinds me down as I have to stay calm. Superpower!😰😡

That was a bit different. She was saying that being different could be a superpower under the right circumstances, in response to all the abuse she was getting.

Jinx. Glad you’ve said it too.

i hate when you see parents asking for support and advice when they’ve found out their baby might have DS. All they receive is comments saying that the only difference between a child with and without DS is the latter’s boundless capacity for love 🙄 it does nobody any favours to pretend that certain conditions are only problematic due to stigma. People deserve the full range of experiences to prepare themselves and make the right decision for them.

I agree with you OP. I work with some children who have autism and life is very difficult for them and their families.

It is the same as my mums' generation always referring to people with Down's Syndrome as "more loving" than other people. So ruddy patronising.

And putting any child above another with a "super" anything is just wrong in every sense.

The course leader sounds very ignorant and I wouldn't be able to carry on with the course.

It helps me to frame my life by acknowledging the very real strengths my autism brings. I can see data and numbers in ways other people can’t. I can intensely focus on a project. I make connections other people don’t. I have built an amazing career and an excellent reputation because of these skills. I wouldn’t give that up for anything and I do think of it as a superpower

when the moments of ostracism from my childhood, the memories of how things were handled so incredibly poorly back then start creeping into my head, it’s important for me to focus on the positive.

it’s also necessary to have a good sense of humor and acknowledge my limitations. If I were to treat it as all doom and gloom it would be depressing. Instead, when I start to melt down because there is a change in the plans and I have to make a decision on the fly, it helps so much to just stop and acknowledge to myself, and if I am with family or trusted friends others, that this is one of those ridiculous autism moments and just try to just laugh about it instead. It’s taken time to get to that point, but that is the wisdom of middle age and life experience.

As a fellow autistic person, I completely agree with you.

I agree with tis and could have written it. Same age DS and he also refers to his stupid brain. We try and point out the ways in which his autism affects HIM in a good way. There are a few ways but mostly it is a daily struggle for him and us all.

I recall very well our first meeting with the SENCO at his school. He has been diagnosed with autism (with accompanying learning difficulties), ADHD, dyspraxia, a number of auto immune conditions and had just that week been diagnosed finally with tourettes. I sighed at one poiint when we were talking about the bullying he was receiving at school due to his tic and commented as an aside 'poor kid'. The SENCO got very firm with me and contradicted me and said 'No, you can't say that. This is his super power!!!'. I felt well and truly dressed down.

Well, I am not seeing any superpowers. I see the bullying. I see the social anxiety. I see the inability to truly connect with peers. I see the meltdowns. I see the falling behind academically and socially. I see the fact that I am called several times a week by the school because they need my help to get him backl to class. I see the friends who are now pulling away from him because they are developing and maturing and he is not. I see the lack of party invitations. I see the utter confusion when he does not have a goddamned clue what is going on. I see the confusion when he cannot work out if people are making fund of him or not and comes down on the side of they must be.

So fuck off with your superpower trope. Oh and by the way, he's not a maths genious, even though apparently everyone who is autistic simply must be and he probably will never be able to live independently.

I think in my case it's sort if true that autism gave me very difficult teenage years but made me very successful in my twenties and early thirties, because I happened to have read a few advice blogs that I followed to the max and my life worked out great as a result. My one sibling is equally successful with their aspergers. We make a lot of money for very little effort (super powers of analysis!), happily married, happy in our respective circles off basically-all-undiagnosed-also-autistic-and-adhd-friends, and so on.

Of course, none of us got a diagnosis until our thirties.

My other sibling, since years, struggles with deep depression as a result of aspergers. She would have been so highfunctioning as to be undiagnosed until she got her depression.

No comparison either with my nephews who are non-verbal autistic (diagnosed at young age) and who, despite having certain strong powers as a result of autism, have a life I wouldn't wish on anyone.

To meaningfully talk about autism, I think you have to presume it's a gift for almost no one. The exceptions don't prove anything, just that some people will inevitable get lucky with a given set of circumstances - and that "autism" covers such a range of symptoms and severity as to be almost meaningless as a term.

I absolutely hate this. For my DD is absolutely is not a superpower. There are some positive traits she has bit the actual condition is miserable

Of course it’s not, it sounds so patronising and undermines everyday struggles of parents and children.
you can say something like this to a group of 6 y.o. to explain them autism positively but not on online autism course.

And yy to a previous poster. I do think my child is absolutely super. He is funny. He is extremely kind. He tries so hard to think of the feelings of others which is extra difficult because he is not great at reading social cues. he adores his cats, one of whom we share with an elderly and very ill neighbour. When he found out that our shared cat was terminally ill, and after our neighbour had finally gone into a care home he said ; 'Let's not tell XXXXX. It will only confuse and upset her and it would be better if she did not have to go through that pain of knowing'.

Every second Saturday morning he puts our shared cat into her cat box and we trot off to the care home so our neighbour can give her a cuddle (the care home allows it). That was his idea as well. (So that other trope- that autistic people lack empathy can fucking fuck off as well).

It's the difference between someone who's been through a hard time and come out the other side saying, "You know, losing my job turned out to be a blessing" and an employment coach telling a classroom full of jobseekers, "Losing your job is a blessing".

Your teacher sounds like an idiot!! She should spend some time with my 27 year old autistic adult with high anxiety issues which makes him really aggressive. She'll change her mind in 5 minutes.

Absolutely not a super power, and unacceptable for anybody other than, say, a child saying it about themselves.

I would be annoyed if somebody tried to downplay my sons disability as a super power. Unfortunately somebody did use that line within earshot of him once and now he says he has 'weaponised' autism 😁

Comments like that annoy me as much as when people say “only special people are given special children” and other such bullshit.

I think they can be very dangerous messages as they give the idea that everything is rosy and you just need to keep on smiling through when actually it’s fine to say sometimes things are a bit shit. (Or a lot shit!)

I have ASD as does my 7 yo son. Unfortunately, he's non verbal. He's actually clever and affectionate but certainly not a superpower
I remember years ago I used to go to an ASD support group for young adults. Some of us got sick of the fact news paper or articles would only focus on successful people with ASD and how alienating it was for those who were struggling with adulthood. Finding employment, friendship and love was a challenge for example. Seemed a bit insensitive

If people want to frame their own autism as a superpower then I have little issue with that. However I can appreciate that it can bring problems when/if that is then generalised to the wider population with regards to assumptions around individual feelings, abilities and levels of need.

It’s a phrase that really bugs me. I’m glad that some autistic people do see it that way, but I don’t think you can make a statement like that for everyone. My DS is in the process of being assessed and diagnosed at age 4, and although high functioning I can see how much more challenging it’s making his life.

He had a haircut yesterday, with a different lovely hairdresser to usual as his old one has gone on maternity leave and closed her salon. It was a minefield and SO hard for him. Little everyday things like that are so challenging. He needs a TA to support him at school, to remind and prompt him and help with transitions even though he’s a very clever boy. And although kids are kind and inclusive now, I know there will almost certainly be issues as he gets older. I adore my son, but last week he had a horrendous meltdown, told me he didn’t love me and kicked me repeatedly. It’s hard to see that as any kind of superpower 😭