To not want to take out a finance agreement for partner

[Queen736]

Just some background info - have been with my partner for 4 years and we are expecting a baby boy in a few months time.

He made some pretty silly financial decisions when he was younger which has led to bad credit and him unable to obtain a finance agreement for the new car he wants. He has asked me to take out the finance agreement in my name and he will pay me the money every month. My issue is I don't feel comfortable taking on this amount of credit (it is quite a considerable amount) and feel that this will affect me when I want to get a new car in the future - I currently own my car outright but have recently been looking to purchase a new car on finance...surely having his car in my name too would prevent me from doing this as I would not pass the affordability checks?

Am I being selfish or is this just a normal thing that people do for their partners?

I wouldn’t even take out a finance agreement for a car for myself. They’re awful as you’re stuck with them whatever happens to your financial situation. Even if you give the car back you still owe them the money!

OP you don't need to feel bad about it. He is asking a huge imposition

If he doesn't have the credit available he cannot upgrade or hit a new car. He will have to use public transport and save up. He doesn't get to bully you into taking out a personal finance loan for him. I would not do this and I wouldn't apologise. Just reply "nope" "that's not happening, you'll need to ask someone else" (but not your parents either!)

Exactly this!

Hell no.

If he needs a car, and it will negatively impact your life if he doesn't have a car, AND you want to get a new car.

Then SELL (not give) him your old car.
You then get YOU a new car on finance, if thats what you want to do.

Better to do this now than before you go on maternity leave.

But.. only do any of this if you want to. If you don't, don't. He is an adult, he can solve his own fuck ups.

No way - definitely do not do this.

(Re the OP)

Thanks everyone. He's currently using the "but I thought you loved me" line on me. I feel very manipulated and emotional and it's the last thing I need while being heavily pregnant 🙄

Wanker

"Funny, I thought would have you loved me and respected my future financial security (and therefore that of our family) more than you love the idea of upgrading a car instead of getting something you can afford. Guess we're both disappointed."

He sounds like a right dick tbh OP.

DONT BELIEVE IT

You loving him is not a good reason to take debt. Your credit score is impacted by unsecured loans so you would probably find it difficult to get a car loan yourself in the future.

You have done nothing wrong at all, he is the one in the wrong for making you feel guilty.

If he loved you then he would not be trying to manipulate you and upset you while you are pregnant. Stick to your guns and tell him that if he can afford the finance then he can afford to put the same amount away each month towards buying a better car next time.

His credit rating will improve over time, so he needs to be looking at what he can do to assist that

My PP was obviously meant to say:

"Funny, I thought you would have loved me and respected my future financial security (and therefore that of our family) more than you love the idea of upgrading a car instead of getting something you can afford. Guess we're both disappointed."

I angry typed on your behalf OP. He's a dick!

If he loved you he wouldn’t try to emotionally manipulate you into putting yourself into financial danger when heavily pregnant. Dick.

From a financial perspectives, the risk outweighs the gain, why risk him defaulting, and saddleing you with the debt.

Put it back on him, if he loved you why would he risk yours and the baby's financial security to upgrade a car?

Then use the line back of, why would you want me to be responsible for your debt, and the oh ill.cover it next month etc, until you are basically stuck with the debt.

Agree with all PPs.

if he loved you then he wouldn’t put you in this position and he wouldn’t be trying to manipulate and emotionally blackmail you.

It’s a no. Stay strong.

I’ve been in a similar situation, but it was without my knowledge (so I can add fraud to my story).
Ex “bought” me a new car but failed to tell me he’d used my documents and forged my signature to put the finance in my name instead of his. After a few months he stopped paying and long story short, the car was repossessed and my credit rating went to shit.
The finance company took over and involved police. He admitted to what he’d done and my credit score was eventually restored but it was a horrible situation to be in.
We had a child together too 😡

If you give in now it will never stop. This is just the starting point of being pulled deep into debt with him. Keep yours and his finances in all areas as separate as you can manage it. I went back to work very quickly after the babies full time and that can also be very good financial protection for women too.

He's a manipulative dickhead 😒
I like what @wellhelloitsme said above as a response.
Best of luck with the baby 💐

Emotional manipulation, sexy 🙄 he sounds like an absolute prince.

I got manipulated into doing this once, for a mobile data contract. He paid me for a few months and then I just got left with it when I left him. I can see now that both he and his parents saw me as a cash cow because I was (extremely junior newly qualified) in a stable, professional career and I had a lot of emotional manipulation from all of them when I got fed up of the debt letters and the broken promises to take some responsibilty.

Woah. Just RTFT and your last update is just dreadful. He’s really showing his true colours here, OP. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this appalling behaviour while you’re feeling vulnerable. 💐

Oh, he can fuck right off with that shite.