Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to take out a finance agreement for partner

290 replies

Queen736 · 08/07/2022 11:46

Just some background info - have been with my partner for 4 years and we are expecting a baby boy in a few months time.

He made some pretty silly financial decisions when he was younger which has led to bad credit and him unable to obtain a finance agreement for the new car he wants. He has asked me to take out the finance agreement in my name and he will pay me the money every month. My issue is I don't feel comfortable taking on this amount of credit (it is quite a considerable amount) and feel that this will affect me when I want to get a new car in the future - I currently own my car outright but have recently been looking to purchase a new car on finance...surely having his car in my name too would prevent me from doing this as I would not pass the affordability checks?

Am I being selfish or is this just a normal thing that people do for their partners?

OP posts:
threatmatrix · 09/07/2022 18:12

A big fat noooooo

Maurepas · 09/07/2022 18:23

Tell him it has nothing to do with love - just a matter of sensible financial choice for you and baby! Why did he smash his car up anyway and where is the insurance money? How do you know he has mended his ways regarding his bad spending habits? You do not want to throw good money after bad. You need savings for your child - they say raising a child costs over £200,000 (or similar) - so what about a second hand bicycle and public transport?

PinotPony · 09/07/2022 18:25

Huge red flag for me.

I couldn't be with someone who (a) can't manage their finances, (b) asked me to get into debt to bail them out, and (c) tried to guilt trip and manipulate me.

He sounds like a real prince!

SnackSizeRaisin · 09/07/2022 18:30

Queen736 · 08/07/2022 17:46

Thanks everyone. He's currently using the "but I thought you loved me" line on me. I feel very manipulated and emotional and it's the last thing I need while being heavily pregnant 🙄

Loving him has nothing to do with it. It would be completely stupid to take out a credit agreement in someone else's name. Love doesn't mean that you do senseless things that are of no benefit to anyone.
Tell him to get a cheap second hand car for £500 and save up for a better one.

Supergirl1958 · 09/07/2022 18:31

Haven't read on but don't do it. Know of someone who did it and the couple are no longer together, he doesn't earn a living and is refusing to contribute to the debt and is well within his rights to because in the eyes of the law, the debt doesn't belong to him!

Give your SO your current car and buy a new one for yourself

Jofergo · 09/07/2022 18:33

Your instincts are correct. Don't do it.

TheElectricBoogaloo · 09/07/2022 18:38

Please don’t do this! Over 10 years ago I took out a loan for my ex-partner who also had bad credit. First few month he paid me ok…and then the excuses started coming. Two years into the loan agreement we split up, and I ended up paying back all the debt as it was in my name. I couldn’t prove it was his even if I tried. Lesson learned…I will never take out credit for anyone apart from myself again.

Nomorefuckstogive · 09/07/2022 18:41

Please refuse. He is BVU. He needs to save up for a cheaper car and buy it outright.

Hmm1234 · 09/07/2022 18:42

Is he using you? I would run if I was pregnant with this man’s baby

Original poster
Queen736 · 09/07/2022 18:44

It's unbelievable how many stories there are of people taking out loans for their partners then being left with the debt!

Just a quick update - there was an argument last night as I felt emotionally manipulated and put under pressure. I also argued the point that it is absolutely ridiculous to be considering purchasing a 20k car just before the arrival of our child. I think the message got through because he is now looking at significantly cheaper cars (well he had no choice really!)

Thanks everyone for your responses.

OP posts:
Darbs76 · 09/07/2022 18:46

No don’t, there’s women on these boards every week saying they are now left with a load of debt and nothing at all they can do about it as their partner left, took the car with them and left the now ex to pay for the car. Stick to your guns

froggybiby · 09/07/2022 18:54

Well done for sticking to your guns...Unfortunately there are too many people relying on credits nowadays. I was shocked to hear of stories when covid hit who had to take mortgage holidays despite earning a 6 figure salary. I am glad your OH came to his senses though.

AliAtHome · 09/07/2022 18:58

If he can’t get or afford to take on the credit himself - he can’t afford it. Rules are there for a reason. He shouldn’t have asked you to do this - shows he is still financially immature and not ready for the responsibility of taking on a loan

Ddot · 09/07/2022 18:59

20k no no no that is totally unacceptable your about to become parents.

TheElectricBoogaloo · 09/07/2022 19:03

Queen736 · 09/07/2022 18:44

It's unbelievable how many stories there are of people taking out loans for their partners then being left with the debt!

Just a quick update - there was an argument last night as I felt emotionally manipulated and put under pressure. I also argued the point that it is absolutely ridiculous to be considering purchasing a 20k car just before the arrival of our child. I think the message got through because he is now looking at significantly cheaper cars (well he had no choice really!)

Thanks everyone for your responses.

Well done for sticking to your guns 💐

Cakecakecheese · 09/07/2022 19:08

I'm glad you didn't give in but I'm a bit concerned about the attempt at emotional blackmail. I really hope he grows up a bit when the baby arrives.

Dashel · 09/07/2022 19:14

I don’t think you should take out a car loan ever for yourself or for him.

please don’t ever take on debt for anyone.

You are going to have the expense of a baby and everything is going up like crazy so please get an affordable car for you and let him sort out his own car.

I hope you are going to give the baby your surname as he is already sounding like a chancer.

woolwinder · 09/07/2022 19:20

Don't do it. If he truly cared about you he wouldn't ask. If he needs his own car, why can't he save up for a 16 year old Nissan Micra? £540 2006 MICRA 1.2 S 5dr 06 REG WITH MOT MARCH 2023 on a web site. Mine is 5 years older, cost a grand three years ago, and I am so pleased with it. Went to Scotland from Bristol last year.

qtpa2t · 09/07/2022 19:24

Do not (and I can't stress this enough) do not do it.

Incognitomum11 · 09/07/2022 19:29

I dated a girl who was still paying for her exs car years after they split. Definitely never do it

wellhelloitsme · 09/07/2022 19:34

Is he expecting the baby to have his last name?

IsobelElsie123 · 09/07/2022 19:55

Been there - regretted it - don’t do it

Ayabbadabbado · 09/07/2022 20:04

Nope! That debt will be in your name. Is your partner doing anything to re build his credit score. Or is he basically just living the same way as before but using you to get the credit because he can't. I know too many people who live like this for ever, moving from guarantor to guarantor.

woolwinder · 09/07/2022 20:56

Even if he has the best of intentions, can he guarantee to carry them out? Even well-meaning people can over-estimate their abilities, or he could (God forbid) go under a bus or get sick or disabled or unable to work. That's even before we consider what happens if the relationship goes south and he buggers off with or without the car. Standing guarantor for a less creditworthy partner is a really bad idea. No No NO.

ThistleTits · 09/07/2022 21:47

@Queen736
He is in a financial mess because he has bought what he wants as opposed to what he needs.
He will have to buy a car he can afford, not what you can afford.
He can save up (join a credit union), build his credit, not potentially destroy your good credit score.
I was left with thousands of £s of debt when I left my husband.
I doubt I would do it again.