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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Never Leaving the country again for holidays!

129 replies

AppleIsMyName · 07/07/2022 12:54

We've been going on holidays with DS since he was 3 months. Always long haul flights and he was a always a pleasure to fly with, sleeps throughout the entire trip. Our last trip before covid stricked he was 8 months and again, a dream to fly with.

FF to our first holiday post covid (he's just turned 3) and he was nothing short of a nightmare. I was very nervous as to how how would react with flights so we decided to do a "tester" and take him on a shorter flight within Europe instead a long one. It was still horrible. We were that annoying family with the screaming child that everyone probably hate (no one said anything but I'm sure they all thought it). I just wanted to hide under the seats from embarrassment. The episode lasted about 10 minutes I think (felt like 8 hours) Didn't even know why he was screaming and he wanted to get off the plane mid air.

During the holiday we were constantly running behind him to stop him from hurting himself etc, he gets bored easily so we have to be on the go 24/7. We tried to make the best of it but it was so hard to relax and I couldn't wait to get home. (thankfully coming back he slept all through) That's cuz he was prob tired from being so naughty at the airport!

I've decided never to leave the country again as a family until he get older for my own sanity. Tough decision cuz we love travelling together as a family but it was just too much.

Prior to having kids I always wondered how people holiday with children, it didn't look hard but boy was I wrong.

So my question is what's the point of holidaying with kids if you're not going to enjoy and relax? (ps. I know not all toddlers behave like mine, I think God gave me an exceptionally naughty lil boy LOL)

OP posts:
Wnikat · 07/07/2022 12:58

All sounds like perfectly normal toddler behaviour. And you need to give your kid a break. He's not naughty. He's 3.

actiongirl1978 · 07/07/2022 13:01

We just carried on through that kind of behaviour.

Weve done puking toddlers, wriggling toddlers, fidgeting 5yr olds and beyond until they were 8 and 10 and watched 13hrs of movies long haul to LA.

Just crack on don't let it stop you.

Ps. All the behaviour above was from our children!

Bertieboo82 · 07/07/2022 13:03

Loved holidays when that age!

3 is walking talking playing not religiously tied to napping and feed schedule

I mean it wasn’t “relaxing” but still fun
mhas he just turned 3 or approaching 4?

blobby10 · 07/07/2022 13:03

I never relaxed (or expected to relax) on holidays when my three were young - we camped in the UK and I had to tell myself that a change of scenery and no cleaning, washing or work to do was as good as a rest. It was only once the youngest was12 and they were old enough to sort themselves out that I started to really relax on holidays. I know lots of people do it but none of my three would have enjoyed having to sit down for even a short flight on an aeroplane and would have behaved exactly like your little one

Silverswirl · 07/07/2022 13:04

Someone I know described Holidays with children ‘same shit different place’ plus the journey.
pretty much sums it up.
We went to an All inclusive with a decent kids club when youngest was 4. Best holiday ever. They had one or two sessions in the kids club (1 hr session) whilst we got to relax for an hour. Also there was loads of activities round the pool and complex you could take part in for all ages. It was brilliant and felt much more of a holiday.

user1474315215 · 07/07/2022 13:06

With young children we always found that the best holidays were the ones based around their enjoyment. We found places that were within a two to three hour drive and had lots of suitable activities. We would never have chosen these holidays before children, and as they got older we branched further afield, but up to the age of 9/10 they were perfect and the children remember them with great fondness.

Funkyslippers · 07/07/2022 13:09

Apart from the flight, all that stuff would still happen on a UK holiday. And if the weather's rubbish it's even worse. At least abroad you're pretty much guaranteed good weather so you can be outside all day and burn off lots of energy.

My 2 DDs argue alot and I always looked forward to holidays so I could relax but then realised they argued wherever in the world we are! They're even nasty to each other on Christmas Day and my birthday so I don't expect anything less!

ProfessorFusspot · 07/07/2022 13:17

It's up to you; you're not forced to go abroad. But honestly, at that age he's not going to know what country he's in; just don't try flying again until he's a bit older. Keep his needs in mind if you plan another trip. For now, maybe you and your partner/the other parent can switch off primary child duty a bit so each of you has some planned rest and relaxation instead of all three of you being on the go constantly?

statetrooperstacey · 07/07/2022 13:18

We did a lot of caravan/ lodge/ haven type places when that age. Then your irritating tantrumming kids just blend in with everyone else’s . The first time you go the ‘evening entertainment ‘ is a bit of an eye opener , but the kids mostly loved it . Which made us love it as it gives you some bargaining power! Trick is to find out what drinks the bar sells , then smuggle your own in from Tesco . You have to do that so that you can afford all the sparkly whizzy spinny light up glowing shite the kids want .

Pinkwellies81 · 07/07/2022 13:19

DD is 4 and we are doing first abroad holiday this year.

Up until now we’ve just done U.K. trips - she’s been happy as anything on the U.K. beaches and if she’s happy, I’m happy. No stress over travelling, not too expensive, I just take suitable clothes for unpredictable weather and all is good.

When friends tell me of their exotic plans with small kids I’m not jealous at all, I just think rather you than me. I don’t see the point in over complicating things with young kids. Simple is best.

Happytap · 07/07/2022 13:21

he is a normal 3 year old - give him a break! He isn’t naughty fgs

LizzieMacQueen · 07/07/2022 13:21

@AppleIsMyName did you really pay for and go on a European flight just to try things out? That's bonkers.

Scianel · 07/07/2022 13:22

Honestly I would not have found you annoying on the flight. He's small and can't help it.
Drunk obnoxious adults on the other hand...

BatshitBanshee · 07/07/2022 13:22

YANBU. We're flying short haul with DD 1 next week and I am well aware this will be her first and last time for a couple of years because a) the cost of fucking car rental, car seats, buggy, nappies, food etc just to travel makes my eyes water and b) I'm not doing this again until she's well out of nappies and toddlerhood.

But don't worry OP, far more people will have sympathised with you during DC's meltdown than felt anyway negatively towards you. We've all been there!!

Yodaisawally · 07/07/2022 13:24

Totally same shit different location. We took just turned 3yo Dts to the US to see family. To get a cheaper flight we had a long layover in Iceland. It was fucking horrendous, the last leg of the flight reduced me to tears. Literally.

We did it again when they were 5, direct and it was fine.

We did a lot of European driving holidays when they were really small and that was fine. They love road trips now.

lanbro · 07/07/2022 13:28

I love taking mine abroad, first time they were 2 & 4 now 8 & 10 and we've been 12 times...we do go to AI resorts that MN generally look down on, but easy for the dc, great pools that keep them entertained, kids clubs, and constant drinks and lollies!

When they're older I want to introduce them to more of the world but this suits us for now, and we've got it down to a tee!

BeanCounterBabe · 07/07/2022 13:30

It gets better as they get older. You were lucky to have had an easy baby. My first was difficult from day 1. We travel by ferry and self cater. Initially as that was what we can afford but now through choice. Kids have all their familiar stuff and plenty to entertain them. Ferry is so much more relaxing than airport hell.

I guess you ride it out until it improves or try another way to holiday that suits this age and stage better. You don’t need to give up just yet.

adviceatthislatestage · 07/07/2022 13:32

Completely sympathise - as have been there

When DS (now 24) was 18 months old we went to Cyprus - a big family holiday that cost £££s

He cried practically all the way there and all the way back. Lots of sarky comments from flight attendants while we struggled to get him to quieten down.

At the resort I don't think DP and I ate together for the entire fortnight. Literally he'd be fine as we got ready to go out, but as soon as stepped outside would cry or be running about.

Did UK based or driving holidays to France instead for a few years before trying again.

We laugh about it now Smile

Boxowine · 07/07/2022 13:33

We did very, very simple vacations near our home when we had littles. Just tried to find something scenic where we could do things as a family. You'll be able to go on "real" trips when they are around seven or eight.

SausageAndCash · 07/07/2022 13:33

You just work the holiday around them.

Play in pool, play in sea, lots of play in the sand, you have to play WITH them, etc.

He sounds like a very normal 3 year old.

HorsesHoundsandHills · 07/07/2022 13:44

Give him another year and you’ll be fine. Our worst flights were with DS were at 18m, 2yrs and 3yrs. Screaming, wriggling, tired but wouldn’t settle, we were cranky and tired too.
We went long haul backpacking with him at just turned 4yrs (3 weeks from KL to Phuket up the Andaman coast) and it was fabulous. By 4yrs he enjoyed the kids cartoons and games on the seat-back TV and the cabin crew made a fuss of him. Once we got there he loved all the boat rides, beaches, kayaking, exploring. KL bird park was a big hit too.

Since then we’ve been all over (apart from 2 years of Covid restrictions). He’s 12 now and is a seasoned traveller, happy to do anything from nice hotels in Paris to a hut on stilts in the Costa Rican rainforest.
You have plenty to look forward to! 😊

Original poster
AppleIsMyName · 07/07/2022 13:48

Wnikat · 07/07/2022 12:58

All sounds like perfectly normal toddler behaviour. And you need to give your kid a break. He's not naughty. He's 3.

@Wnikat @Happytap You're both right, It was just really hard at the time but I can see now its normal.

OP posts:
Original poster
AppleIsMyName · 07/07/2022 13:52

Thanks everyone. I'm glad to hear your experiences and that it gets better. It makes me feel so much better lol. Hopefully another year or 2

OP posts:
Doingtheboxerbeat · 07/07/2022 13:56

I factor in crying babies and toddlers when packing for my journeys anywhere, which is why I own 8 million pairs of headphones. Sensible people know this is a thing and only tosspots tut.

PatientlyWaiting21 · 07/07/2022 14:00

Good grief he’s not naughty, he’s a toddler, it’s what the majority do!!