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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Never Leaving the country again for holidays!

129 replies

AppleIsMyName · 07/07/2022 12:54

We've been going on holidays with DS since he was 3 months. Always long haul flights and he was a always a pleasure to fly with, sleeps throughout the entire trip. Our last trip before covid stricked he was 8 months and again, a dream to fly with.

FF to our first holiday post covid (he's just turned 3) and he was nothing short of a nightmare. I was very nervous as to how how would react with flights so we decided to do a "tester" and take him on a shorter flight within Europe instead a long one. It was still horrible. We were that annoying family with the screaming child that everyone probably hate (no one said anything but I'm sure they all thought it). I just wanted to hide under the seats from embarrassment. The episode lasted about 10 minutes I think (felt like 8 hours) Didn't even know why he was screaming and he wanted to get off the plane mid air.

During the holiday we were constantly running behind him to stop him from hurting himself etc, he gets bored easily so we have to be on the go 24/7. We tried to make the best of it but it was so hard to relax and I couldn't wait to get home. (thankfully coming back he slept all through) That's cuz he was prob tired from being so naughty at the airport!

I've decided never to leave the country again as a family until he get older for my own sanity. Tough decision cuz we love travelling together as a family but it was just too much.

Prior to having kids I always wondered how people holiday with children, it didn't look hard but boy was I wrong.

So my question is what's the point of holidaying with kids if you're not going to enjoy and relax? (ps. I know not all toddlers behave like mine, I think God gave me an exceptionally naughty lil boy LOL)

OP posts:
LuckySantangelo35 · 08/07/2022 13:04

Yeah I think a lot of people on mumsnet are properly snobby about kids club

TheLette · 08/07/2022 13:20

My conclusion from a few family holidays with small children now is that this is how you do it (unless you love spending time with small children all the time, have endless patience and never need any adult only time):

  1. book the nicest hotel you can afford, with a kids club and either all inclusive or budget for all your main meals out so you don't spend your whole holiday cooking / cleaning / shopping
  2. spend time between booking holiday and going on holiday brainwashing your child into believing that kids club is literally the best thing ever
  3. manage the palaver of getting them there
  4. put them in kids club for a few hours a day so you can relax for a bit and then enjoy being with them for the rest of the day.

Tbf my kids loved the kids club where we went. Loads of activities, other kids and a soft play. Only 3 hours a day and the rest of the day splashing about with us. Seemed like a great holiday for them. I do really look forward to the day when we can genuinely enjoy all hanging out full time but I don't think that will be until they are a bit older.

CrispieCake · 08/07/2022 13:41

We choose kid friendly destinations, and would never put them in kids clubs as our holidays are to spend time together as a family.

There's time together and then there's time together. On our last holiday, I saw a lot of bored, whingy, overheated kids whining at their parents and being placated with tablets or phones. If it's a choice between the kids club and the tablet because you've just had enough, kids club has got to be better.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 08/07/2022 13:43

It’s just one bad day though and then it’s over and you’re on holiday

Teateaandmoretea · 08/07/2022 13:46

I don’t understand the kids club snobbery either. We had a great holiday in Salou where dd1 spent loads of time in kids club. The only issue with them is it does depend on the child as dd2 was far less keen on that kind of thing.

it’s only for a couple of hours a day - plenty of family time left!

Bearsan · 08/07/2022 13:58

At that age cruise from the UK. Drive straight to the ship then you are on holiday. Meals available 24/7, brilliant kids clubs, parents get a proper holiday.
Mine were fine on flights but didn't take them until youngest was four.

88milesanhour · 08/07/2022 14:17

CrispieCake · 08/07/2022 13:41

We choose kid friendly destinations, and would never put them in kids clubs as our holidays are to spend time together as a family.

There's time together and then there's time together. On our last holiday, I saw a lot of bored, whingy, overheated kids whining at their parents and being placated with tablets or phones. If it's a choice between the kids club and the tablet because you've just had enough, kids club has got to be better.

This! I'd rather my daughter spent 6 hours with me getting the best of my attention and 2 hours with lovely staff and other kids being stimulated to do positive activities such as exercise and art rather than 8 hours with me where I'm stressed out because I haven't had a proper rest and her demanding my attention and me feeling like nothing is good enough for her. It's quality over quantity and about listening to your instinct about what's right for you and your kid not what you THINK is right because the perfect parent club has told you so

ivykaty44 · 08/07/2022 14:27

firstly 10 minutes of screaming on a plane form a 3 year old having a tantrum - its not a long time, most of us have been there at some point, I sit thinking, thank goodness im not having to deal with it and poor mummy.

I used to take my in the car to Portsmouth and on the ferry to france and go camping, its easier travelling as its familiar, campsites are set up for small children. lots of playgrounds, can cook your own food etc beaches to play on. Swimming pools to play in and by the end of the day they sleep well from being outside in the fresh air all day long and you can sit outside the tent drinking wine and having a bbq

nomoremsniceperson · 08/07/2022 14:36

totally understand OP, all our holidays with toddler age kids were disasters.

Some tips though:

  • don't fly, drive. Nobody else can hear the toddler scream if he's in a car with the windows up
  • if you fly, bring an iPad with headphones and stick a film on. it's like an off switch for boisterous children
  • try camping trips so you don't spend a lot on accommodation because it's SO BLOODY PAINFUL to spend several hundred quid on a nice hotel and then have an awful time. Try to go with a family you know with similar-aged children so they can play outdoors together while you chat and relax with other adults at the campfire

But also - sometimes holidays just suck. I'm currently in the middle of a farmyard holiday that has gone spectacularly wrong even with a 5 and 7 year old who are well-behaved and easygoing. It happens. But we've had great holidays too and will have more in the future. Don't let bad experiences put you off trying again!

LuckySantangelo35 · 08/07/2022 15:04

Some people hate holiday clubs on here
for shite reasons such as

oh I want faaaaaaamily time!

im not going to palm off my kids on kids club!!

I didn’t have kids to not spend time with them!

a family holiday should be just that. For the kids!

Etc etc

as if a couple of hours in kids clubs means you’re not getting enough ‘family time’

Bertieboo82 · 08/07/2022 15:21

LuckySantangelo35 · 07/07/2022 20:13

youre absolutely right.

I don’t wanna have to commit to that kind of holidays for years

It’s one of my deciding factors in why I’m only having one child to be honest

Show quote history

Oddly enough

if I only had one child I would absolutely only book child centric holidays whilst young. For their sake - chance to be worn other children.

Bertieboo82 · 08/07/2022 15:25

Aquarella · 07/07/2022 15:06

going abroad is bad for the planet anyway, we only holiday on rose petals in our back yard. It saves money and keeps the earth happy.
We are so incredibly lucky though as all so dainty and small, the world is practically our oyster. We step from one raindrop to the other and leave absolutely no carbon footprint whatsoever!
We gave up driving years ago and wouldn't be seen dead mingling with less educated people on public transport (a plane is public transport you know!).

However, all of the rich people I know, and I know many due to DH's enormous salary, prefer to use overpriced holiday cottages in UK national parks. Hence the ludicrous prices. They are not quite as small and virtuous as our little family, but we accept their preferences. They need more room to accommodate their choc labs, Aldi wine and over achieving progeny.

Our babies rarely cry though, perhaps it's a parenting Issue? Can you not take the au pair?
I do understand not everyone is as lucky as my little family. I was born in a council house though.

Very peculiar post

LuckySantangelo35 · 08/07/2022 15:27

Bertieboo82 · 08/07/2022 15:21

Oddly enough

if I only had one child I would absolutely only book child centric holidays whilst young. For their sake - chance to be worn other children.

Show quote history

@Bertieboo82

i get that but you have less years of it don’t you if you only have the one.

Bertieboo82 · 08/07/2022 15:32

LuckySantangelo35 · 08/07/2022 13:04

Yeah I think a lot of people on mumsnet are properly snobby about kids club

They invariably have shit uk camping holidays and then start threads about the rain, and arguments, and constant cooking etc

Bertieboo82 · 08/07/2022 15:32

LuckySantangelo35 · 08/07/2022 15:27

@Bertieboo82

i get that but you have less years of it don’t you if you only have the one.

Show quote history

Less of what?

Bertieboo82 · 08/07/2022 15:34

Less years.

depends on age gap.

my two played in the pool for hours last holiday.

i read two books with half an eye on them!

alone? I would have had to have been there throwing balls and messing around with The one. Which I LOVE but not for hours!!

reluctantbrit · 08/07/2022 15:57

nomoremsniceperson · 08/07/2022 14:36

totally understand OP, all our holidays with toddler age kids were disasters.

Some tips though:

  • don't fly, drive. Nobody else can hear the toddler scream if he's in a car with the windows up
  • if you fly, bring an iPad with headphones and stick a film on. it's like an off switch for boisterous children
  • try camping trips so you don't spend a lot on accommodation because it's SO BLOODY PAINFUL to spend several hundred quid on a nice hotel and then have an awful time. Try to go with a family you know with similar-aged children so they can play outdoors together while you chat and relax with other adults at the campfire

But also - sometimes holidays just suck. I'm currently in the middle of a farmyard holiday that has gone spectacularly wrong even with a 5 and 7 year old who are well-behaved and easygoing. It happens. But we've had great holidays too and will have more in the future. Don't let bad experiences put you off trying again!

camping - my idea of hell. Why be more uncomfortable on holiday than at home?

Unless you love camping pre-child I haven’t met anyone who suddenly loved it when having a child.

a chalet or similar - maybe if I am where the weather is nice and I can be outside a lot, otherwise being in a cramped home when the weather is bad - I am better off home.

DappledThings · 08/07/2022 16:01

I guess some parents will still go abroad more their own enjoyment/benefit more than the kids?

i do! I have to go abroad to really feel on hol - different culture, guarantee of hot weather etc.
We do too. Yes we make all kinds of changes now we have DC. We have more breaks at cafes in the day, we spend more time at the pool and we eat a bit earlier in the evening. And spend longer picking a restaurant they might eat at.

But otherwise they fit into our holidays. We still go to the museums and castles and towns and other sites we want to and have fairly similar holidays very happily to what we did pre-DC.

LuckySantangelo35 · 08/07/2022 16:04

DappledThings · 08/07/2022 16:01

I guess some parents will still go abroad more their own enjoyment/benefit more than the kids?

i do! I have to go abroad to really feel on hol - different culture, guarantee of hot weather etc.
We do too. Yes we make all kinds of changes now we have DC. We have more breaks at cafes in the day, we spend more time at the pool and we eat a bit earlier in the evening. And spend longer picking a restaurant they might eat at.

But otherwise they fit into our holidays. We still go to the museums and castles and towns and other sites we want to and have fairly similar holidays very happily to what we did pre-DC.

@DappledThings

soooooo refreshing to hear this!

LuckySantangelo35 · 08/07/2022 16:09

Bertieboo82 · 08/07/2022 15:32

Less of what?

Show quote history

@Bertieboo82

less years of my holidays having to be so child centric. I want to have a balance. Some kid stuff sure but also time to explore different cultural things, relax with cocktails etc

Bertieboo82 · 08/07/2022 16:51

LuckySantangelo35 · 08/07/2022 16:09

@Bertieboo82

less years of my holidays having to be so child centric. I want to have a balance. Some kid stuff sure but also time to explore different cultural things, relax with cocktails etc

Show quote history

I find so much easier to do that stuff with two (and I’m a single parent). Ie I am sitting relaxing with a cocktail, they are playing uno.

Bertieboo82 · 08/07/2022 16:53

And the museums? We did a bike tour in our last city break. Bloody awesome. I never would have done this had I not had children, now I realise - it’s the best way of getting to know a city on a city break holiday. And you stop at museums but seeing as I can’t stand traipsing around museums for hours, we flit in and then…. We are back on the bikes and off again

Bertieboo82 · 08/07/2022 16:56

You seem to think “child centric” really is shit?

but having a child friendly holiday is a joy in itself. Admittedly I spend a lot and generally get nicest hotels, private bike tours so at our pace, private transfers etc - but I have to say, when I first holiday without my children, I will undoubtedly miss watching them in the pool, playing beach rounders etc

LuckySantangelo35 · 08/07/2022 17:01

Bertieboo82 · 08/07/2022 16:56

You seem to think “child centric” really is shit?

but having a child friendly holiday is a joy in itself. Admittedly I spend a lot and generally get nicest hotels, private bike tours so at our pace, private transfers etc - but I have to say, when I first holiday without my children, I will undoubtedly miss watching them in the pool, playing beach rounders etc

@Bertieboo82

i do in some ways I guess!

or certainly the way it has sometimes been described on here.

E.g Camping where you have to cook and clean all the time. Or a holiday abroad where you can’t do anything beyond be in the pool or evening kids disco or whatever. Moany kids etc.

Plinkton · 08/07/2022 17:05

Anywhere with a kids club worked for me

DC loved it had loads of fun and made tons of new friends

I relaxed and still had a great time with them on holiday but got to swim properly, read etc and make my own new holiday pals to hang out with