Never Leaving the country again for holidays!

[AppleIsMyName]

We've been going on holidays with DS since he was 3 months. Always long haul flights and he was a always a pleasure to fly with, sleeps throughout the entire trip. Our last trip before covid stricked he was 8 months and again, a dream to fly with.

FF to our first holiday post covid (he's just turned 3) and he was nothing short of a nightmare. I was very nervous as to how how would react with flights so we decided to do a "tester" and take him on a shorter flight within Europe instead a long one. It was still horrible. We were that annoying family with the screaming child that everyone probably hate (no one said anything but I'm sure they all thought it). I just wanted to hide under the seats from embarrassment. The episode lasted about 10 minutes I think (felt like 8 hours) Didn't even know why he was screaming and he wanted to get off the plane mid air.

During the holiday we were constantly running behind him to stop him from hurting himself etc, he gets bored easily so we have to be on the go 24/7. We tried to make the best of it but it was so hard to relax and I couldn't wait to get home. (thankfully coming back he slept all through) That's cuz he was prob tired from being so naughty at the airport!

I've decided never to leave the country again as a family until he get older for my own sanity. Tough decision cuz we love travelling together as a family but it was just too much.

Prior to having kids I always wondered how people holiday with children, it didn't look hard but boy was I wrong.

So my question is what's the point of holidaying with kids if you're not going to enjoy and relax? (ps. I know not all toddlers behave like mine, I think God gave me an exceptionally naughty lil boy LOL)

You don’t need to wait nine years but it can be very hard work when children are babies or toddlers.

We just flew long haul with our 3.5 yo and it was ok. Do you have a tablet? We don’t do screen time at all at home so tablet was a big novelty. We also got a Stokke jetkids bed box and it was AMAZING the difference it made to DC not fidgeting. She was much more comfy with her legs supported. She’s pretty active and chatty normally but fairly cheerfully watched movies and slept 10 hours each way.

when we travel with her though we do try to do things that she will actually enjoy, ie, not overfilling the day, plenty of time for the playground. Short time in a museum if we do. We do a lot of holidays with a pool/beach because she loves the water. We also trade off, so we each get some time to ourselves too. Also travel with my parents reasonably regularly. They get up early anyway and are happy to give her breakfast etc while we have a bit of a lie in.

she does still nap though and will slept more on holiday so we also get a built in relaxation time for a couple hours every day.

Our's watches a bit of TV but we also only just got her a tablet so this was a huge novelty to her. We will put it away now until we drive to Cornwall in a couple of months. I think it helps that she doesn't have unlimited access to a tablet at other times so she revelled in it on holiday

Here’s the thing: it’s your choice! I couldn’t cope with our DC and the public transport either, so we went all around the UK or France to holiday (camping) in our car. Do what is best for you!

If he's already 3 and you don't have more children, you've probably only got a few more years before holidaying with him is much more enjoyable and relaxing. I can understand not wanting to spend a bucket load of cash on a holiday that's not really going to be a holiday, so something cheap like camping would probably fit the bill for a while. That's if you like camping, we do and our kids do, so it always feel like a holiday even if we've only spent peanuts and driven an hour away. It's no real hardship leaving the foreign holidays for until they're a bit older.

youre absolutely right.

I don’t wanna have to commit to that kind of holidays for years

It’s one of my deciding factors in why I’m only having one child to be honest

We had a family with a three year old on our last beach long haul holiday who just seemed to be everywhere. The boy was running around, at one point was lying on the dining room floor and getting in the way of everyone. Parents did nothing. Someone asked them if they needed any assistance and they were told to ignore him as he would get tired eventually.

Great for us having to have a romantic dinner!

Dont be that parent. And it does get easier but please don’t leave him to sort himself out as many parents seem to do. It spoils it for the rest of us.

I agree with this entirely.

My kids are 7 and 4 and have never been abroad. I do child centric holidays in the UK. It can still be stressful but they enjoy it because I prioritise their enjoyment and keeping my (single parent) stress levels low!!!! I never have to worry about keeping them entertained on aeroplanes.

I think YABU a bit because it sounds like you had unrealistic expectations of your 3 year old. It is a hard age

We didn’t take ours aged 3 on a flight, we did babies and then over 4 for both so we did a few Disneyland Paris trips in the car those years we didn’t fly. I found at 4 it was fine, they were old enough for the kids club. I guess it depends if it’s just normal 3yr old stuff or misbehaviour, probably the former. I’ve seen people suggest wrapping up gifts and giving them at different parts of the flight, might be worth a try next time you decide to brave it.

I’d recommend skip a holiday abroad until he’s 5, and next year ask the grandparents if they fancy a few days / week with your son and go and enjoy a child free holiday!

Those who do child centric holidays…

what do YOU get out of it??

Thing is “child centric” does not necessarily mean “shit for parents”

well it sure as heck isn’t in my case.

i am a single parent and absolutely adore my holidays with my two children (3 this year and one final to come!).

i book within a four hour flight, I spend a lot on 5 star top end all inclusive with loads of pools, dining options, beach front, big rooms, preferably a water park close by, guaranteed sun and warmth but not too hot.

Would I book this holiday if it was JUST me? No.

do I book this holiday with my children at the front of my mind? Ie child centric. Yes
do I absolutely love these holidays and enjoy the swimming, beach play time, reading the odd chapter of my book, bot cleaning and cooking etc? HELL yes I get a lot out of it!!

@LuckySantangelo35

We didn't until DS was 4, it was just before he started school and it was fine, I wouldn't have taken him as a toddler.

Wholly depends on so many factors, time of flight, activities, what food they’ve had, sugar intake etc.

Can’t say that going on holiday with children is bad, you’ve just had a rubbish experience. As for wanting to relax? I think you’re mistaking a holiday with not having to do any parenting

Being not at home but somewhere where the weather means I am not stuck indoors all the time because it rains.
Not having to go and do the same things we do all year round anyway. We do have lovely local attractions and things to do but we have been there already more than once.
Showing DD that there is more than just her hometown. I still remember her face when we were at the cathedral in Palma and she just looked at the huge stained glass window in awe.
Having time together as a family for more than just a weekend.

A child centric holiday doesn't mean we never think of us. DD was always used to also do/come along to at least a couple of things we liked. Obviously going to a museum or gallery is different and it helps if you work togehter with your partner. I really looked forward to something and when DD started to be bored DH took her and let me carry on on my path and did something else with her. We also ensure we have a good hotel/accomodation where the food is more than just beige and buffet. I go to a spa and DH plays with her in the pool, he does water sport and we go to the beach/playground/whatever.

To be honest when they are that age find a nice self catering complex in the U.K. with play ground/ rooms/ swimming pool. Let them grub around on the beach looking for shells.

It was the only way of relaxing in my experience. Give it a couple of years you at least have kids clubs to break it up. Nothing relaxing about constantly watching 3 year old by the pool like a hawk and having to navigate flights.

No need to be embarrassed about his strop though, it’s what 3 year olds do. Maybe be a bit embarrassed about how judgy/ intolerant you were before. And be reassured most people aren’t like that and understand.

We've just been through this with 2yo so you have my sympathy. I was horrified and really conscious of people staring at us. Toddler had the biggest meltdown ever in the packed waiting area of the airport and I mean literally inconsolable, running off, screaming. Had to rugby tackle him all the way to the change room. Felt like the worst mother ever not able to control my kid, but really it is just normal toddler behaviour, as difficult as it is. We got there in the end. Holidays are certainly different now. However I think will be easier to manage when a little older perhaps.

Those who do child centric holidays…

what do YOU get out of it??

A change of scene, different and hopefully nice place, family time.

Yes pre-kid holidays and holidays when the kids are older are easier and more relaxing. But ultimately taking little kids on holiday is part of parenting and the good ones we’ve never forgotten. An amazing week of low 20s sunshine in Northumberland for example.

The key thing with toddlers is that they need space, it’s containing them that’s the problem. So you need somewhere they can safely run while you chill.

We found the best holiday accommodation at that age was a family suite (with tiny kitchen) inside a family friendly hotel in a family oriented resort abroad. All the benefits of pool, meals cooked, rooms cleaned, room service etc with a room the dc could sleep in separately off a landing while we ate on the balcony and full use of the sitting room and could have a nice relaxing evening. Lovely clean beaches, lovely prom to tricycle or toddle along, gorgeous petting zoo, bicycles to hire, woodland walks, fantastic family friendly cafes with play areas alongside. We could take the dc to breakfast, or one of us could, or we could make the dc snacks in our kitchen for their tea. It was bliss but €€€€€€. Not terribly exciting admittedly but restful!

That makes more sense if you’re booking a really nice hotel, nice beaches, nice food etc.

Yeah it’s got the kids at the forefront but also stuff for you too

you do hear on here though women who have taken their kids on holiday and the holiday is solely kids centric. Eg camping in UK, the OP will be doing all the cooking and cleaning, doing what the kids want to do every day and evening. I just think…

Girl, you deserve a holiday too - stop being so kid centric!! There are no prizes for it!

I've often thought that hiring a live-in nanny for a week and moving out to an airbnb would beat just about every other holiday on offer with under-5s.

I would never go abroad with young kids
They will not enjoy it
So it will be hard work and stressful

from age 4 makes a world of difference

Mine bloody loved!

and now primary - we have a countdown!

Well mine absolutely love going abroad so it's just absolute rubbish to say young kids "won't enjoy it". My best holidays have been with my children (and I travelled extensively all over the world before kids).
We choose kid friendly destinations, and would never put them in kids clubs as our holidays are to spend time together as a family. Our 4yr old has been to France/Disneyland Paris 3 times, Majorca, Menorca, several trips to CenterParcs, Haven Lodges, London and we're off to Salou/Barcelona next month. Our 17mth old has been to Menorca, Disneyland Paris, all the UK ones and her third trip abroad next month.
We have 4 short haul trips booked for next year and then planning on USA the year after when they'll be 6 and 3. We've been very very lucky that they both travel really well.

My 4YO LOVED her first holiday abroad and has always loved our holidays in the UK and she's fairly shy and avoidant at times. I think it depends entirely on the child and also your expectations.

Sorry but I don't get the snobbery around kids club. People treat it like the worst thing ever then whinge that their kids are stressing them out 🤣 We approached it with caution. We ASKED her every day if she wants to go and wouldn't have made her go. She wanted to though, every day. It was only for 2 hours but that was 2 hours that dh and I got to have a bit of peaceful grownup time and she got some time out of the sun in the company of other kids which she loves and we can't provide to an only child. The kids club were so professional too I didn't feel the least but nervous leaving her in their care. We then made lots of happy memories with her going nuts in the pool and playing with her for the rest of the time. I really don't see what's so wrong with that and clearly neither did our dd since she happily did it.

It's important to spend quality family time together on holiday absolutely but I think you don't do yourself any favours having such an idealistic view of what that actually entails and being so rigid with these ideas especially when you're also tasked with keeping a young child happy who likely has their own very different ideas...