Never Leaving the country again for holidays!

[AppleIsMyName]

We've been going on holidays with DS since he was 3 months. Always long haul flights and he was a always a pleasure to fly with, sleeps throughout the entire trip. Our last trip before covid stricked he was 8 months and again, a dream to fly with.

FF to our first holiday post covid (he's just turned 3) and he was nothing short of a nightmare. I was very nervous as to how how would react with flights so we decided to do a "tester" and take him on a shorter flight within Europe instead a long one. It was still horrible. We were that annoying family with the screaming child that everyone probably hate (no one said anything but I'm sure they all thought it). I just wanted to hide under the seats from embarrassment. The episode lasted about 10 minutes I think (felt like 8 hours) Didn't even know why he was screaming and he wanted to get off the plane mid air.

During the holiday we were constantly running behind him to stop him from hurting himself etc, he gets bored easily so we have to be on the go 24/7. We tried to make the best of it but it was so hard to relax and I couldn't wait to get home. (thankfully coming back he slept all through) That's cuz he was prob tired from being so naughty at the airport!

I've decided never to leave the country again as a family until he get older for my own sanity. Tough decision cuz we love travelling together as a family but it was just too much.

Prior to having kids I always wondered how people holiday with children, it didn't look hard but boy was I wrong.

So my question is what's the point of holidaying with kids if you're not going to enjoy and relax? (ps. I know not all toddlers behave like mine, I think God gave me an exceptionally naughty lil boy LOL)

Always holiday with friends. Either they bring children and they entertain each other or friends without children and the load is shared a bit. Obv this won’t work with everyone but we’re fortunate to have a lot of friends where we’ve all worked it out

Definitely recommend caravan holidays (static) preferably within 2 hours of home. So, so much more relaxing. Can’t recommend them highly enough. DH and I did loads of travel pre-kids and I am glad we did it all without them. Most of the time we do UK holidays now - although we had an amazing trip to Italy when they were 8 and 10 and we are planning on visiting family in SA next year - they will be 12 and 14 and I am still dreading the flight.

@Wnikat

3 year olds absolutely can be naughty

The thing I noted is that you actually recognise that your three year olds behaviour is unacceptable and sought to do something about it.

If only all parents thought the same.

Oh dear, that does sound challenging! We've had a few trips with our 9 month old that have gone really well but I do wonder how long he'll remain such a good traveller for! He'll be 1 year old for the next trip so fingers crossed!

Really normal. Holidays with young children are hard work. When they get to about 9ish that’s when it becomes relaxing and fun again!

We used to drive to the south of france when our 2 were little and we had great holidays. Campsites with pools, nearby beaches, parks and places to eat so there was always lots to do. We'd break the journey up with an overnight stay each way which added to the adventure.

I don't think I'd have enjoyed flying with toddlers!

I love holidays with kids! But it has to be focused around them and their interests. No, it's not relaxing in the sense that you won't be able to spend days lying at the beach or poolside with a book, but that was never really my idea of a good holiday so I don't feel that I'm missing out on that type of experience. I love playing in water parks, petting farms, national parks, and loads of other places. Some of them I'd look like a weirdo in if I turned up childless so I'm glad to have the excuse of dc, and I like to see them having fun. Plus, at that age, if you only have one, he probably sleeps for long enough that you have time to relax and unwind while he's in bed.

His behaviour on the airplane doesn't sound unusual. Sometimes kids play up on planes and you're not able to take them off somewhere to calm down. That's life. Most adults would be understanding if you and your husband looked like you were trying to do something about it.

You can stick to UK holidays if you want, they're also fun, but you could still have a great time abroad, if you gave it another go. If it's flying in particular that you don't want to do then he can get a free Interrail pass until the age of 11 (inclusive), which is a great way to see around Europe. Personally I wouldn't do it with a toddler, but I have friends who have really enjoyed it. Or you can drive through the Eurotunnel or take the train to one destination. Better for the environment too.

2-4 is a challenging time to travel with some (most?) small kids. Things that help is picking destinations that are suitable for them (and their entertainment) and lowering your expectations of what a holiday should be. From 4 it's much easier as they can get involved in stuff, are more easily entertained, and can do kids club, meet friends etc. But even so it is of course unreasonable to expect a small child (or any child) to just fall in line with an adult's holiday.

Sounds like normal behaviour and 10 minutes of crying on a plane isn’t that bad. He’s 3 and had to sit still for hours which is so unnatural for them.

At 3 we’d go in holiday to villas so we didn’t have to follow them around so much. We could child proof and as long as one of us watched them around the pool no issues. We had some very relaxing holidays but I think you’re expectations are way too high.

it gets easier as they get older. Our last time abroad they were 6 & 4 and me and my husband got to read about 5 books each, they played happily together in the pool, the youngest had arm bands, and sat playing games in the shade.

My reasonably well behaved, seasoned travel DD was a nightmare when she was 2-3
we had screaming in the floor tantrums in AI resorts, an unforgettable tantrum while passing through security/migration in Paris (that was fun… not!) … but in all fairness I got the same tantrums in the car, the local park and Tesco next to me… so toddlers!
by 5 we traveled to Japan, and she was great, no issues on flights, super organised getting herself ready for security, loving visiting temples, no issues with jet lag
it gets better very very quick - however they are still kids and it’s also their holiday, so you need to cater for them - it’s still years until you’re able to relax all day by the pool, spend the day visiting museums and doing fine dining
you need to include time in the playground, a Macdonalds meal and getting wet / dirty having fun with them

My parents left me with grandma for the week. We both loved it and I got to eat frozen strawberry mousse.

"Prior to having kids I always wondered how people holiday with children, it didn't look hard"

I believe finding the sweet tired spot, stuff to help them pop their ears and chocolate. And maybe a dose of liquid piriton pre flight?? 🤣🤣

Yep holidays are no longer relaxing when you have kids! It gets easier after around age 5 though. They calm down quite a lot after starting school I find and will be happy to sit on a tablet for an hour or 2 on the plane or play a board game etc.

Perfectly normal.
Lower your expectations. Dont expect the holidays you used to have, plan everything around the children. When they are very little take turns with your DH so one of you can relax for an hour while the other plays with the toddler.
It gets easier in most ways as they get older but never the same. You are always going to have to adapt to what suits the children.

Hang on a sec, most of this, easy with hindsight admittedly, could've been avoided. He's 3, and you says he gets bored easily anyway. (What Are you are doing to address that in every day life?). Going on holiday with a three-year-old is completely different to going on on holiday with an 8 month old. You need endless toys, tiny electronic devices, snacks to keep him interested. Do you think now you could've prepared better. When they put them into holiday club for as many activities as you can each day for an hour at a time, play in the pool, build sandcastles, go to fair rides, anything bouncy, anything to keep them constantly entertained.

Dreading a flight with a 12 and 14 year old, that's bizarre. I went the US on my own with my two when they were 9 (just!) and 13 and gave no thought to how the flight would be. Movies, books, food, a nap....what is there to worry about?

We took DD to Portugal at 3 months. We had a taxi from the airport rather than a coach, DD screamed for the full one hour drive. I'm amazed your trip with a baby went so smoothly. We didn't take a toddler abroad because of how early they get up. If hotel breakfast's at 8am, you're limited what you can do if you're up at 5am. We stick to the UK for now. I'd rather deal with rain than try and keep hats and suncream on a pre-schooler tbh.

I'm not sure why you thought that your son would behave the same way at 3 years old as he did at 9 months old. Of course it's more challenging at 3 years! Don't you experience that in your everyday life too?

But I don't think that the other passengers on the plane hated you. My kids are grown now so usually when I fly they're not even with me. The only thing I feel for parents with crying children is sympathy. It doesn't bother me personally in the slightest because it's not my job to deal with it and I can ignore it.

going abroad is bad for the planet anyway, we only holiday on rose petals in our back yard. It saves money and keeps the earth happy.
We are so incredibly lucky though as all so dainty and small, the world is practically our oyster. We step from one raindrop to the other and leave absolutely no carbon footprint whatsoever!
We gave up driving years ago and wouldn't be seen dead mingling with less educated people on public transport (a plane is public transport you know!).

However, all of the rich people I know, and I know many due to DH's enormous salary, prefer to use overpriced holiday cottages in UK national parks. Hence the ludicrous prices. They are not quite as small and virtuous as our little family, but we accept their preferences. They need more room to accommodate their choc labs, Aldi wine and over achieving progeny.

Our babies rarely cry though, perhaps it's a parenting Issue? Can you not take the au pair?
I do understand not everyone is as lucky as my little family. I was born in a council house though.

If you are flying long haul, you get the midnight flights. They just sleep the entire flights. I have done a lot precovid. I have even done Australia needing a bassinet. (Can’t remember age but must be pre 12mo). All I recommend is don’t do hotels but more spacious accommodation like motels or service apartments (that’s a australian thing). In Europe try lodge type accommodation.

You aren’t going to visit museums and galleries or sight seeing. Take them to child friendly places. Zoo, theme parks that kind of thing. The theme parks can be quite different overseas. Also even local attractions can be interesting. For example I took DCs to a Pokémon shop and they still remember it 5 years later now. The Pokémon soft drink and red bean cakes are accident finds!

Travelling overseas is amazing experience but just different from pre children.

I mean it’s not different in UK holiday I find. I still have to plan kids friendly outings or they get bored.

A holiday with a child that age is stuffing them in the creche/kids' club. Anything else is just hard work.

A child screaming and upset for 10 minutes is fine. A child being allowed to run riot up and down the plane and throwing tantrums for the entire 3 hr flight is not (recently experienced this). You will have the understanding of passengers if you work to soothe, but in all honesty i have never understood people taking little ones overseas....to me it is the selfishness of wanting 'your' holiday rather than a family holiday. I know that will get shouted down by everyone here who think they shouldn't have to change their lives when children come along, but at that age they gain nothing from the experience so why put them through it?

@Backtoreality1 have you not met people with families overseas. Flights to Australia is regularly filled with babies and small children. We flew long haul once a year pre covid to see families. When we get there, the things we do are now very different from pre children. I never claim it doesn’t change. You just have to if you want the kids to be happy.