Never Leaving the country again for holidays!

[AppleIsMyName]

We've been going on holidays with DS since he was 3 months. Always long haul flights and he was a always a pleasure to fly with, sleeps throughout the entire trip. Our last trip before covid stricked he was 8 months and again, a dream to fly with.

FF to our first holiday post covid (he's just turned 3) and he was nothing short of a nightmare. I was very nervous as to how how would react with flights so we decided to do a "tester" and take him on a shorter flight within Europe instead a long one. It was still horrible. We were that annoying family with the screaming child that everyone probably hate (no one said anything but I'm sure they all thought it). I just wanted to hide under the seats from embarrassment. The episode lasted about 10 minutes I think (felt like 8 hours) Didn't even know why he was screaming and he wanted to get off the plane mid air.

During the holiday we were constantly running behind him to stop him from hurting himself etc, he gets bored easily so we have to be on the go 24/7. We tried to make the best of it but it was so hard to relax and I couldn't wait to get home. (thankfully coming back he slept all through) That's cuz he was prob tired from being so naughty at the airport!

I've decided never to leave the country again as a family until he get older for my own sanity. Tough decision cuz we love travelling together as a family but it was just too much.

Prior to having kids I always wondered how people holiday with children, it didn't look hard but boy was I wrong.

So my question is what's the point of holidaying with kids if you're not going to enjoy and relax? (ps. I know not all toddlers behave like mine, I think God gave me an exceptionally naughty lil boy LOL)

@BringOnSummerHolidays that is a different situation....as you can see from my message I specifically spoke about holidays, not family gatherings, which I agree are a valuable experience.

We looked at activities DD would enjoy and just went along with it. Lots of woodland walks, playgrounds, playing at the beach, visiting castles, farms and zoos.

We always self catered, more space, we had lunch out and just did a BBQ or bread with cheese/cold meats at dinner and DH and I relaxed with a drink when DD was in bed. No overtired toddler.

She was 7 when we went the first time to a resort and didn’t really see her a lot as she loved the kids club. old enough to be up for longer without causing tantrums because she was overtired,

I love going on holiday as a family but obviously it’s not the same as with a baby or just as a couple

I do agree with all of you saying that we need to tailor the holiday around DS.
We did AI and to be honest I didn't plan on leaving the hotel at all. I just wanted to lounge. In hindsight that didn't really make sense as I should have known that he wouldn't have liked that. Learning curve.

We've just been away with our 4YO. Yes she got a bit tired and stroppy some of the time but on the whole it was a great holiday. Our flights were delayed by a few hours each way which was bit hellish but again she coped well either sleeping or watching her tablet/playing with her dolls/colouring/finding random kids to run around the airport with.

I think one of the things that worked was we purposefully chose a resort which reviews consistently said is great for little kids. The kids club was amazing and it got her out of the sun for a couple of hours. We also tailored our excursions etc to her needs. I really wanted to go to a historical site whilst there but I realised it would simply be too much for her in the heat so we gave it a miss. No biggy. She was much happier and made just as many lovely memories faffing about with daddy in the pool. Holidays can be a lot of fun with little kids but I think you have to adjust expectations. They're not automatically going to find it a pleasurable and relaxing experience, in fact they're more likely to find the change of routine and environment overwhelming. Having an appreciation for this helps keep the harmony

@Pinkwellies81

I guess some parents will still go abroad more their own enjoyment/benefit more than the kids?

i do! I have to go abroad to really feel on hol - different culture, guarantee of hot weather etc.

Well the flight - there's a HUGE difference between an 8mo and 3yo!

Other than that also sounds normal.

It's like a week long trip to a theme park. They want to do everything and explore the new place. They become overtired which makes them more hyper and then they don't nap!

I wouldn't give up. I'd continue and get the practice in so in future you aren't starting trying to get them to understand holidays at 7/8/9!

Unfortunately though when you have kids you have them. Unless you're lucky enough to have someone to leave them with for a week you're stuck with them for your holidays too so you do at least somewhat need to consider their needs. Would I have preferred to go to an adults only all inclusive and lie on a hammock reading a trashy book all day drinking cocktails that don't taste like syrup water? Absolutely. But your kids don't care about your needs, especially not at such a young age, therefore you have to also consider what's realistic and creating harmony for all.

WTF!!

For those saying that holidays don’t become enjoyable until your kid is about 9 years old, before then don’t bother

I’m mean! Are you happy going nine years without a decent holiday?! Or do you mean that you leave the kids with their grandparents whilst you jet off abroad seeing as the kids wouldn’t like it anyway ?? (That’s what I do!)

Me too with the AI

Absolutely dreamy - for everyone.

i read some of the holidays some of the mumsnetters that are a little pompous about AI holidays endure describe - camping in the Lake District whilst it piss pours, spending a fortune on trying to find indoor activities - and I shudder!

so I suppose I’m being equally pompous about their holidays when I think about it 😂

And AI holiday is most definitely NOT “same shit different country”

it’s the best!!

Exactly! We just did AI in Greece. I would honestly have preferred to spend all evening slowly eating a traditional greek meal and sipping wine whilst the tide went out. However, I know my daughter is much happier wolfing down chicken nuggets and chips and racing to the evening disco... AI was fab to compromise on this. We did a couple of meals out in the local town as a late lunch then got back to the hotel in time for the cringe fest disco. It's about compromise and remembering that your kids deserve the happy memories as much as you do

He's 3, I guarantee every single parent on the flight empathised with you.

Neilson holidays - kids club are brilliant and really give you a proper break. Good value in off peak. But you can't avoid the flight!!

We did lots of Eurocamp style holidays in France when they were small. Suited us perfectly as we could bring as much as we wanted in the car so had all their usual gear. The weather wasn't too hot in France so they weren't grumpy with the heat. The campsites are set up perfectly for small kids, we could have a drink or finish our meal in peace while they played in the playground nearby. Loads of activities for them as well.

Now they're older (8 and 9) flying is much easier (less equipment for a start!) and we can do city breaks or use public transport wherever we're traveling to.

Our flight was very delayed. Whilst we were waiting for the cabin door to open an exhausted toddler was howling 'I just want to get off. Let me off!' I turned to my dh and said 'I wish I was still 3 so it was still socially acceptable for me to do that' 🤣

Give him another 12-18 months and he’ll be grand. 3 is a tricky age

At that age I just accepted the journey would be shit and that it was worth the short pain for longer gain. Expect the worst then you might end up surprised.

@88milesanhour 🤣

They aren't holidays, just trips. Hard work packing, being there, travelling and unpacking. Not a break at all. Your son sounds like mine. We only go UK with an enclosed garden because he is a bolter.

Classic toddler behaviour. I used to pack hand luggage with little wrapped gifts (any old shit - it was the unwrapping they loved), an endless supply of snacks and drinks and then books and comics. The flight would then be bearable other than me glowering at DH who would always manage to sit elsewhere then stick his headphones on and ignore me and the fruit of his loins. I'd get my own back by putting him on pool duty whilst I slugged back gin and tonics.

Mine have never done that.

It's just a bit of bad behaviour. I don't see why you have to be so drastic over a tantrum.

I bring DS's full car seat on board for flights (airplane compliant) and buckle him in now. I started when he was 2 and he's just over 4 now. Then he treats it like a car, can't escape and just watches a show or plays with toys etc. Otherwise he's entirely feral so you have my sympathies. Is bringing his car seat an option?

Travel with a baby is fine - they are portable, sleep lots and are cheap. If you're lucky you get extra leg room for the bassinet too!
Travel with over 6 yrs old is fine - you can reason with them, yes, you have to take into account tiredness and some activities are limited but its ok.
Travel with a toddler / preschool is best kept to UK or at a push Spain / majorca IMO. They cannot be reasoned with!

Eurocamp type holidays are the answer! New playgrounds to play in, kids clubs, discos, bouncy castles etc. Can relax outside the caravan on an evening and still hear the children inside.
Flight is what it is. I've flown lots with my toddler not just for holidays and since she turned 1 it's been the stuff of nightmares.... ten mins is nothing! I read on here a trick about giving them a spool of dental floss which I thought was genius! I've never personally minded other people's young children having tantrums or crying on flights, it matters more to the parents because of the responsibility to get them to stop. Other people will just have their earphones in.

Is that really what you took from the OP? That she's flying there and back as a test?
Not that she booked a holiday in Europe rather than flying long haul to Bora Bora or something? She even says 'during the holiday' in the OP!