Nosy neighbour

[Mooshamoo]

I'm in my 30s. I bought my first house in a small town in Ireland six months ago. My neighbours next door are two men. A man in his forties and a man in his late sixties. Maybe father and son. These are my only neighbours.

We have never spoke to each other. I don't really like them as they blast loud music a lot.

Last week, I went on holiday to Spain.

Last night, I got two missed calls from the estate agent, (a man in his 60s), who sold me the house. He called me twice on WhatsApp at 10pm. Then he sent me a message saying "call me". I have never spoken to this estate agent since he sold me the house, so I was worried that something was wrong.

I called him back this morning.

He said "your neighbours are very very worried about you. They havent seen you in a few days, and the newspapers are building up outside your door.".

My neighbours don't have my telephone number. It turns out that the estate agent is friends with them. They knew he would have my number. So they rang him and got him to ring me.

Aibu to think that this is totally OTT And uncomfortable? I have only been away for five days. It's the summer, everybody is going away on holidays.

I know from looking at these neighbours that they are not people that would be concerned about me. They are the type of people who are nosy, and would just want to know what I am is doing. It just feels so OTT to me. Surely I should be able to go away on holidays and not get phone calls from them. And surely the estate agent shouldn't be ringing me latw at night.

I just felt really stressed about it yesterday. I wanted privacy in a house. And to be able to come and go when I want

"To me, it is nosy, intrusive and controlling.
I know they are just doing it out of nosiness.
It definitely made me feel uncomfortable"

You've made up your mind, so why ask on here?

Why have you never spoken to them?

I'd love to have neighbours that were concerned about my welfare.

Late 60s isn't elderly by the way

So, you live in rural Ireland and a local company (who normally posts a leaflet in your letter box and who would at most be leaflet dropping once a month) has now left so many leaflets outside your front door in the space of 5 days that your neighbours were worried??
I call bullshit!

I hear you.

However, having lived in my home for 25 years and none of those things have happened, I would genuinely prefer to take my chances rather that the annoyance of nosey, intrusive neighbours.

The OP feels their actions come from a place of nosiness, I respect that her gut is correct, and therefore think it is better to nip this in the bud early, and firmly.

I love my distant, politely friendly neighbours that respect my privacy and mine theirs.

They sound like lovely caring neighbours. You should be happy you have someone that notices and looks out for your welfare specially in a rural area where they are your only neighbour and you're a woman alone. It's normal to give your neighbour your number when you introduce yourself and to let them know if you're going away. YABVU and ungrateful actually.

I would hate that and I'd definitely complaint to the estate agent. I'm pretty shocked at all these responses.

I didn't say that I live in rural Ireland. I said that I live in a small town in Ireland. We are on a street. They are my only immediate neighbour, as the house on the other side of me has been sold to someone who plans to rent it out In future. But is currently empty. There are loads of houses further up the street

I couldn't even be bothered with this. It doesn't matter just ignore it and go about your business

They are not nice people. One of them plays karaoke loudly in his back garden twice a week, using a microphone and a massive speaker. The noise is awful.

I know if they went away for a couple of days, and I got an estate agent to ring them and ask them where they are, that they would think that I was being annoying and intrusive.

And your local company has dropped so many leaflets to you that they have filled your house and are now spilling into the street?? In 5 days?? At least attempt to make the story realistic!

They arnt nice people because they play kareoke? Wtf

Wow. It seems like people will turn themselves into pretzels to turn a kindness into something nefarious or bothersome or irksome.

I think I’d be appreciative of having such caring neighbors if I happened to be lying on the floor in the upstairs loo.

I’m happy you were away and not in any distress.

I've seen them sit in their front garden commenting on what the people on the street are doing. They have already made me feel uncomfortable.

Sigh.The loud music alone is enough to make me want to leave. Now they have interrupted my holiday too. I really dont like them.

I've seen them sit in their front garden commenting on what the people on the street are doing. They have already made me feel uncomfortable.

Sigh.The loud music alone is enough to make me want to leave. Now they have interrupted my holiday too. I really dont like them.

So you’ve never spoken to them, and have decided that becaude one of them does karoake twice a week and by their appearance, they are the ones who are not nice people. Whilst you sit judging them and they are checking you’re ok as you live alone. And you’re adamant it’s them who isn’t nice?

Have you read recently that a couple in rural ireland lay dead for 20 months before being found, the local community were critisiced unfairly for not looking out for their neighbours, maybe these two men have read this and taken note

Thank you angryatlife!

Well perhaps if you spoke to them OP and established a friendliness you could ask them to turn the volume down?

I don't think they are being particularly nosey, just showing neighbourly concern.

How do you know you dont like them if you have never even spoken to them?

Yes I agree the noisy music etc is annoying but if you've never even had a conversation with them. Never even said "hey your music is loud" and not even a chat about the weather...........

I think they were trying to be neighbourly. A lot of people were very upset by a recent couples death in Ireland that went unnoticed fit a long time : www.rte.ie/news/munster/2022/0625/1306868-tipperary-cloneen-deaths/

It's Ireland and a rural area by the sounds of it.It would be normal in these areas to at least be on speaking terms with a next door neighbour.They were concerned about you and that's quite uncommon nowadays.

You are not suited to life in small town Ireland. If this annoys you, move now. Seriously. I can't actually believe you have been there for 6 months without the whole town knowing all about you and when/where you were going on holiday!

I get where you're coming from but if they know you live alone it's actually nice of them to be concerned about you.

I know my neighbour has been ill recently, and when her dog was barking non-stop for over an hour (never usually happens) & nobody answered the door I called her husband at his work to see if I should go round to the back door and see if she was OK because I was concerned maybe she'd had an accident and needed help.

Her husband was grateful, and in the event there was nothing wrong, but I would have felt dreadful if something had happened and I'd ignored the possibility she was hurt or collapsed or anything.

I think they wanted to check you were OK.

I think you should say hello to your only neighbours. Have you seriously never said good morning to them in the 6 months you have lived there?

Perhaps if you chatted you could mention the karaoke being a bit too loud.

People saying I should talk to them. Why. I have lived in loads of different towns in Ireland. I have never spoke to a neighbour and they have never spoken to me. I have usually lived in flats but the last time I lived in a terraced house in Ireland , my neighbours either side, never once spoke to me. I'm used to that. I miss that!