Nosy neighbour

[Mooshamoo]

I'm in my 30s. I bought my first house in a small town in Ireland six months ago. My neighbours next door are two men. A man in his forties and a man in his late sixties. Maybe father and son. These are my only neighbours.

We have never spoke to each other. I don't really like them as they blast loud music a lot.

Last week, I went on holiday to Spain.

Last night, I got two missed calls from the estate agent, (a man in his 60s), who sold me the house. He called me twice on WhatsApp at 10pm. Then he sent me a message saying "call me". I have never spoken to this estate agent since he sold me the house, so I was worried that something was wrong.

I called him back this morning.

He said "your neighbours are very very worried about you. They havent seen you in a few days, and the newspapers are building up outside your door.".

My neighbours don't have my telephone number. It turns out that the estate agent is friends with them. They knew he would have my number. So they rang him and got him to ring me.

Aibu to think that this is totally OTT And uncomfortable? I have only been away for five days. It's the summer, everybody is going away on holidays.

I know from looking at these neighbours that they are not people that would be concerned about me. They are the type of people who are nosy, and would just want to know what I am is doing. It just feels so OTT to me. Surely I should be able to go away on holidays and not get phone calls from them. And surely the estate agent shouldn't be ringing me latw at night.

I just felt really stressed about it yesterday. I wanted privacy in a house. And to be able to come and go when I want

As a single parent I think I would be grateful for the support tbh.

You don't have to be best buddies with them, but as you say they have not spoken to you - what would you do if someone tried to break in - or in any other kind of emergency? Personally I'd appreciate having someone to call on in the event of.

this Is a verb neighbourly thing to do. I don’t really feel comfortable with your judgey comments on how they look and how you dislike them, you don’t come out of this looking very well but your neighbours do.

’in a small town in Ireland’

Well, yes.

I used to work for the police in the control room. So many people did similar to your neighbours and ended up with their neighbours doors being put through! So just be glad that they rang the estate agent and not the police!

But if you had been lying injured on the kitchen floor and on one bothered to check you would be complaining about that too!

no one

This was the first thing that popped into my head aswell when I read it!

Do you really think they went to all that trouble just to find out where you were? I just don't think anyone could possibly give that much of a shit about where their neighbour has gone on holiday.

You've never spoken to them and have judged them on appearance and loud music. I think you have misjudged them. I think they are kind and we're worried. My response would be to thank them for looking out for me. Next time I went away, I'd tell them I was going so they could look out for my property if anything looked amiss. You could do worse than getting along with your neighbours.

If you've lived there for 6 months and haven't had any reason to think they were nosy up until now then I'd just assume they were concerned for your welfare.

No need to tell anyone where you are. The agent could just tell them he'd made contact and you are fine!

OP,

First off, I can well understand your annoyance.

I would be very cool with the estate agent.

I would tell him that while you appreciate his call MAy have been well meaning, your business relationship is finished and you do not wish to be contacted by him again.

I would tell him under ANY circumstances you do not want your number past to these neighbours as it would be a huge breach of your GDPR.

I would say something like "as a single woman living alone, I find this all very CREEPY and deeply uncomfortable.
I have expectations of enjoying privacy in my new home which you have breached by your unwelcome contact of me whilst I was away."

Unless he is thick as shit (which is a possibility) he will get the message that he has over stepped and needs to back off.

Keep a note of this OP, in case you have future issues

I can't imagine even noticing if I hadn't seen my neighbours in weeks. I don't pay any attention to them.

Your sense of these people is key in this.
Would the estate agent have seen on your WhatsApp that you have been on it recently?

Fucking hell is this what we've come to now then. Neighbours and people looking out for you are creepy. Imagine how they will all feel to be on the receiving end of that tirade if they were genuinely just making sure she hadn't been murdered or fallen down some stairs. I guess no good deed goes unpunished. I spent a lot of time arguing on another thread that we should help each other and look out for each other but maybe the people saying 'leave it because you'll only get a smack for your trouble' were right.

You need to chill a bit. They were worried.

Try talking to them next time. And cancel your papers.

My neighbour got in touch as the car hadn’t moved and they were worried. I was very poorly with covid and it was actually good to know someone cared enough to notice!

I don't think you moved far enough from civilisation!

You know a lot about them, age, sex, music, living together in the one house, possibly Dad and son. It is quite normal to be curious about neighbours, but it doesn't have to mean any more than that.

You should say thanks to those guys, and say you are a very private person but are grateful for their concern, and that you will return the favour if they ever need it. You never know you could just click with the son and you can all move in together! LOL.

You sound very uptight. Relax a little, or sell and buy something up the side of a mountain away from everyone. Sorted.

They were looking out for you in the only way they knew how. You sound like hard work. Your poor neighbours.

YABVU and very judgy about your neighbours, who were decent enough to try to do something when they became concerned about you.

Your post at 17:12, replying to @Mummyratbag 's post is really paranoid, and says a LOT more about you, than you neighbours, who were kind enough to try and think of a ay of checking you were okay, without getting the emergency service to break in. You are lucky to have such nice neighbours. What a shame you are so negative about a little community spirit.

YABU.

Take it as an opportunity to knock on the door when you're back and introduce yourself. Doesn't hurt to be friendly with your next door neighbours.

By all means do this, but do not expect any sympathy if your house goes on fire, a pipe bursts, your house is broken into, or you fall and can't contact anyone, and your creepy "nosy neighbours" from hell do absolutely nothing, as per your request!

How do you know their ages and relarionship OP, are you a nosy neighbour

Perhaps you ought to have remained in the anonymous city. In the countyside we look after each other. Its called community.

Fair play to your neighbours. What if you had collapsed on the floor? Would you still think they were nosy? Obviously the recent case in Tipperary came into their head when they saw the newspapers build up.

Last week a couple were found dead in rural Ireland
They Had been dead 18 months. No one noticed said anything

Rural Ireland can be a very dangerous place. You should be happy you have neighbours concerned about your welfare

I live in a terraced house and I wouldn't notice if someone broke into my neighbours house. I don't spend my time looking out the window tbh and if I'm asleep I'm not going to hear it.