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Original poster

What are the pros of having kids?

127 replies

Hippopotas · 06/07/2022 14:16

I am struggling with the decision on whether to have kids and am struggling to come up with pros.

so wonderful mumsnet please enlighten me.

also do the pros outweigh the cons in your opinion?

OP posts:
RudsyFarmer · 06/07/2022 14:18

I think right now it’s going to be difficult to give you pros from an environmental/financial standpoint but in terms of emotions my children make me feel like there’s a reason to be here. Without them I’d honestly struggle to find the point of it all.

Skinnermarink · 06/07/2022 14:19

Why kids plural? See how you get on with one first maybe? Although if you can’t come up with a single pro on your own…I’m not sure it’s for you.

PurpleDaisies · 06/07/2022 14:20

If you’re struggling with whether you want them or not, you don’t want them. This isn’t a pros and cons list type of topic. You start from the position of wanting them or not. If you don’t, don’t have them. If you do, then it’s work out if you can afford it, are in a position to have them and how it would work practically etc.

Deep down, you must know whether you actually want kids or not.

ShirleyPhallus · 06/07/2022 14:21

The very best thing about having kids is being able to queue jump through airports and get priority boarding

Skinnermarink · 06/07/2022 14:21

I didn’t mean that how it sounded on the last bit.

just if all you can think of are cons that’s not great, leave things how they are. My overwhelming pro is he makes me happy, and I want to give him a happy life in return.

CoffeeChocolateGin · 06/07/2022 14:21

I've recently had a similar conversation with a friend. We both have children. It's very very easy to come up with the negatives and strangely much harder to think of positives. But that doesn't mean that having children is a negative. It's just that they impact on your life in so many ways but is it important that you can no longer go to a fancy restaurant on the spur of the moment? Not really in the grand scheme of things.
I think the main positive for me, is that having children has made me a more rounded person. I'm more understanding of other's situations, I have more empathy, I am more caring. I can also multi-task like a pro!

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 06/07/2022 14:21

Parent and child parking spaces?
Getting to play on the playground equipment?
Better value for money on Disney+ subscription?

Skinnermarink · 06/07/2022 14:21

PurpleDaisies · 06/07/2022 14:20

If you’re struggling with whether you want them or not, you don’t want them. This isn’t a pros and cons list type of topic. You start from the position of wanting them or not. If you don’t, don’t have them. If you do, then it’s work out if you can afford it, are in a position to have them and how it would work practically etc.

Deep down, you must know whether you actually want kids or not.

You put it so much better. This.

CoffeeChocolateGin · 06/07/2022 14:22

ShirleyPhallus · 06/07/2022 14:21

The very best thing about having kids is being able to queue jump through airports and get priority boarding

My type of parent!!

girlfriend44 · 06/07/2022 14:23

someone to look after you in old age😂

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/07/2022 14:26

PurpleDaisies · 06/07/2022 14:20

If you’re struggling with whether you want them or not, you don’t want them. This isn’t a pros and cons list type of topic. You start from the position of wanting them or not. If you don’t, don’t have them. If you do, then it’s work out if you can afford it, are in a position to have them and how it would work practically etc.

Deep down, you must know whether you actually want kids or not.

I didn't want one, DH convinced me, best decision I ever made. I had such low expectations that the overwhelming love, and more importantly how brilliant, funny and interesting DD is, came as a surprise.

It was hard work but i expected that.

I actually wonder (should do a study) whether women who are a bit meh about having them actually enjoy it more. I see so many threads of women who desperately wanted them and are shocked they aren't happier.

minipie · 06/07/2022 14:26

If you’re struggling with whether you want them or not, you don’t want them. This isn’t a pros and cons list type of topic.

This. The only good reason to have kids IMO is because you really want a child.

From a practical perspective, there are no pros (well maybe someone to help you in old age but that’s in no way guaranteed!). There are a hell of a lot of cons. You have have a real desire for a child to outweigh the cons.

ChagSameachDoreen · 06/07/2022 14:27

One of the best things is having an immediate excuse for stuff you don't want to do, which is great for an antisocial auld bugger like me.

"Sorry, I can't. The baby!"

HappyGoDucky · 06/07/2022 14:28

They make me happy and proud most of the time and hopefully they feel the same about me. The admiration of what they have become is great and I'm not necessarily talking about anything high flying, just nice, polite and rounded individuals with their own unique quirks.

Babdoc · 06/07/2022 14:28

They are a lot of hard work, but eventually you end up with a couple of wonderful adults whom you love to bits, find endlessly amusing, adore spending time with, and know will always look out for you, as you will for them. And they choose lovely men as partners, who you welcome into your family too. My adult DDs are my favourite people.

SoftMallow · 06/07/2022 14:28

It's wonderful, but the incredible fear and anxiety that comes with them is hard to handle. In a world facing war and climate change, my life is consumed with worry about my children's' future. But they are the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Kitten2 · 06/07/2022 14:30

Can't think of any.
But I had a very strong natural urge to have them.

I suppose, I'd have had absolutely no idea what intense love felt like had I not had a child. Nothing else comes close at all.

Easy to think of many negatives. But I'd still do it all over again (maybe have just had the 1 though, with hindsight).

CupidStunt22 · 06/07/2022 14:30

Kids are fun. I mean, how great is it that I created brand new people who are now the best company I've ever had?

Also, we really need people to have children or the whole pyramid scheme is going to collapse.

DisgruntledPelican · 06/07/2022 14:32

P&C parking at the supermarket

A reason to get up & out of the house for a walk as early as possible in the morning, rather than lying in bed doomscrolling

Like @ChagSameachDoreen, a handy excuse for not going out

bur like several other have said, it is not a pros and cons type of issue. I had an unplanned pregnancy and have been pleasantly surprised about how much I enjoy parenting, after being very much on the fence & tending towards childfree until I POAS one day after missing a period. It wasn’t a lightbulb moment but I did have a sense of this now being the way my life was going and I was OK with it. But I couldn’t be disappointed because I didn’t desperately want children and I knew it would be hard work. The ‘pros’ are all the cherry on the cake.

lugeforlife · 06/07/2022 14:33

Mine are funny as fuck. Dd1 makes me laugh more than anyone and has done since she was 6 months old. Dd2 is clever and curious. They literally improve every day even when they are being little shits.

x2boys · 06/07/2022 14:35

I love my children immeasurably and all the hard work is worth it imo ,but you will never no a day without worry again, whether, it's whether they are outtingvion weight as babies ,is their development typical, do they have enough friends do they have to many friends ,will they be safe going out etc etc it's life long but I would never want to be without them .

Sillystripytail · 06/07/2022 14:36

Excellent excuse to get out of things you don't wanna do. They get so much chocolate for Easter & Christmas that you just HAVE to share it. It's really handy having a pram/buggy to put shopping bags, handbag etc. Some of their toys are quite cool.

In all seriousness, I spend a lot of time (too much) thinking about how pointless life is cause we're all gonna die anyway but I'm here now so I've gotta make the best of it. Part of that for me is leaving behind a legacy and that is my son. Hopefully he'll continue it with his own children. Day to day, he gives me a reason to get up and do something good every day. Watching him learn is incredible and the pride I feel when it clicks, it's pure happiness.

He is my world and all I ever wanted. Love my DH endlessly but my love for my son is another level.

DramaAlpaca · 06/07/2022 14:37

My three adult sons are amazing and I am so glad they are in my life.

However, there's a saying I once heard about being a parent: you will only ever be as happy as your least happy child.

It's quite a sobering thought, really. And definitely true for me.

Yodaisawally · 06/07/2022 14:38

I am the most unmaternal person ever, I don't really like babies, hate all the role play / imaginative games shit (I am autistic).

Decided to take the plunge, and ended up with DTs. They are my life tbh and yes it's stressy and your life will never be the same but I wouldn't change it. Now they are a bit older I love watching them develop into actual people with personalities and opinions and their outlook on life. They make me laugh every day.

SVRT19674 · 06/07/2022 14:38

Seeing their little faces light up when they see you and that their love isn´t conditional. Also her little ideas make me laugh.