What are the pros of having kids?

[Hippopotas]

I am struggling with the decision on whether to have kids and am struggling to come up with pros.

so wonderful mumsnet please enlighten me.

also do the pros outweigh the cons in your opinion?

A completely different kind of love, moments of happiness like no other, trying to help them be the best possible version of themselves and nurture them through life.

But I do agree with others, if you genuinely need a pros and cons list don’t have them. With the highs come massive lows and it’s harder work than anything I’ve ever experienced. My life revolves around them 95% of the time. I thought it got easier as they got older but it doesn’t, I’ve just had to reduce my hours again at work so I can be home more to support them.

Because when you go out in public, everyone can see that someone found you attractive enough to shag at least once?

1. the chimney isn’t going to sweep itself
2. You can train them to make g&t

When they see you and their faces light up. You feel dreadful and they still think you are the best person ever and tell you they love you. Plus they are very amusing and you can indulge your inner child - do lego, arrange the dolls house, dance in a silly way, make up ludicrous songs together. It's just brilliant.

😂

I have zero interest in other peoples children, they may as well not exist.

Its completely different with your own, I’m sat on the sofa with my daughter asleep on me and my son reading her stories and attempting to teach her to read. Genuine bliss.

They’re hard and you are knackered at times, but its worth every single missed minute of sleep. When you’re not with them its like a piece of you is missing, when they hurt you hurt, when they’re happy you’re happy.

My house is a mess, haven't had a full nights sleep in months. The eldest is constantly wiping snot on me, the furniture, the youngest and anything else she can manage. The dog has to go to my parents for a week each month so that she can get some peace and quiet. They are exhausting but when I walk through the door and her little face lights up, arms go above her head and she runs to me for a cuddle there is nothing on earth that compares to the feeling i get. Still don't like other peoples kids though

@Hippopotas do you mean in pros in general or in the current world right now? I want a kid(s) however at the moment the world feels a flipping frightening place to be bringing one into the world and being able to look after them and provide them with a good standard of life not worrying if we can keep them warm or feed them, not just as babies but as kids too. It makes it so hard for me to know what the right decision is in the future for bringing some little human into this

They can be funny sweet and loving at times.

That's really it. There are far more negatives in my opinion.

You can buy cool toys for yourself and pretend it’s for the kids

Errrr if you can't think of any positives don't have them. I love my kids and wouldn't be without them. They are my family so it's not something you can replace with friends or a pet. They are hard work and good fun.

I am struggling with the decision on whether to have kids and am struggling to come up with pros.

If this is your starting point you probably shouldnt have them.

1. Children are fun, lovely, delightful
2. They completely worship you and that feels wonderful
3. You absolutely love them to bits and that also feels wonderful
4. They enrich your life

Most people feel an irresistible urge to reproduce. If you dont have that and are struggling to come up with pros without help from the internet, it's ok if kids arent for you.

I disagree with the pp saying deep down you surely ‘just know’ if you want kids.

I didn’t really know if I wanted them, and so was avoiding having children via the use of contraception for a long time. For those years, I did not want children.

Then, after much thought and consideration, I changed my mind. It wasn’t a case of ‘just knowing’, it was a thought-through decision, made with my DH.

Cons: shedload of work, hassle and stress.

Pro: unconditional love.

My kids are 28, 18 and 14 now and I really genuinely enjoy their company, great holiday companions, my eldest son and I can chat for hours and hours on end about absolutely nothing. You won’t love anyone else as furiously and giving birth to them was definitely on my top days of my life. Yes it’s not easy, for me the early years were the toughest, but then I’ve had / got some very well behaved teenagers. I know friends whose teens are horrific and they do regret having kids

Oh my god! 1000%

It's hard to put into words. But when you look at them, (when you don't want to send them back) the feeling is like nothing else. And obvs the airport thing

For me its been creating two gorgeous little humans who love me unconditionally and who i love unconditionally back.
When i see my two playing together nicely, the big one reading to the little one or the little one getting excited to get big sis from school.... i get absolutely overwhelmed with love and pride.
Parts of parenting are hard but i wouldn't change my decision to have kids :)

Having my daughter changed my life.

It didn't change it for the better or for the worse. It is just different.

I think if you need a list of pros and cons they prob aren’t for you.

Utter joy at the wonderful things they say and do, and at seeing them develop as they grow older

Rediscovering things you'd taken for granted or forgotten about since childhood. Blowing bubbles, playing with a kaleidoscope, blowing dandelions, walking through the woods and exploring nature.

Having fun. Going to zoos and theme parks and childrens events. You can do some of these things without kids of course but you enjoy them through your kids eyes as a parent.

Getting out and about. I was lazy as fuck before DS. Still a bit lazy now but much less so.

Being adored unconditionally

Me and my wife both suffered from having neglectful fathers. It has brought much joy to me that I have been able to help my child successfully negotiate some of the perils and pitfalls of teenage years and her early twenties.
Whatever time, effort and love you invest may ultimately benefit others, children may want to live on the other side of the world or forget that you exist for decades at a time - if you're not prepared to take that risk, I'm afraid parenthood is not for you.
It was strange and humbling to tell my daughter that I couldn't give advice about some things because her experience and capability in a particular area far exceeded mine. It did make me feel very proud though.

#£347,923 well-spent

All those being adored unconditionally- have you reached the teenage years yet? I don’t feel I am being adored unconditionally- ignores unconditionally perhaps….

Unconditional Love, and a reason to exist.

Oof. So much nicer to queue alone