What are the pros of having kids?

[Hippopotas]

I am struggling with the decision on whether to have kids and am struggling to come up with pros.

so wonderful mumsnet please enlighten me.

also do the pros outweigh the cons in your opinion?

Hmmm travelling with kids is such a bundle of fun especially when they puke on you or annoy the other passengers and not have time off ever :/

Travel without kids is wonderful and you can oau for priority boardig...which you can afford because....no kids
Travel with can be painful

When they hug you and tell you they love you, then hand you the most hideous rendition of you on paper ever, and you stick it on the fridge because they are so adorable.

Completely agree.

This. If you are struggling to find pros then do not have children. No one needs to convince you.

There's advantages and disadvantages to having kids and I will say it's hard work bringing kids up... patience is certainly the key.
Seeing their milestones from first smile, crawling, first steps, developing their own personalities.
Starting school, making friends, sharing their achievements, being proud of them too. Sharing their ups & their downs.
Going to college, University. It's great to see them have their own interests and
No two children are the same, one has the best sense of humour and we laugh together like crazy, my other is very practical, has lots of common sense and loves the outdoors and is the most caring teenager for both people and animals.
It's great to see them grow up into polite, caring & understanding adults. Having gran kids, sharing their moments too.
Hopefully, fingers crossed, they are going to be there for you in your old age.

Knowing you've got someone to pass things on to.

Unconditional love.
I said to my eldest yesterday shall we go for food and flicks.
Yes, excited, it's the little attributes.
My youngest wrote me a letter and left it on my pillow for me to read. She told me how kind I was, no one expresses that love better than a child.

Obvs screaming for yrs on end, the poo and sick on the bunkbeds slats are horrid but it's just a phase.😂

I’ve laughed til I cried every day since having DD. Even when there’s newborn poonami shooting onto the wall or bloody Bing on repeat, there’s something truly hilarious every day. And the neck hugs with their little clammy hands. And an excuse for an ice cream every time you go to the park.

EVERY day?!

This isn’t a pros and cons list type of topic.

This basically - mine are hands down the best thing I have ever done - they are also exhausting frustrating and a source of worry.

I hear grandchildren are even better as frequently you skip the shit bits are further away from the worry but can be around for the fun -(despite having three children I think it's very unlikely I'll get any).

Best bits are frequently little moments - that frequently sound stupid to elicit that response when you try and explain to others.

I genuinely think lower expectations does make a big difference! I always knew I wanted children but got pregnant accidentally age 24 just as I was recovering from long term serious mental health issues. Everyone was so negative about it and obviously there were lots of concerns about my mental health, talk of a mother and baby unit, etc. I was expecting it to be horrible! Anyway, she came out, I didn’t have a breakdown and was surprised how nice some of it was rather than a permanent waking nightmare.

Oh lord yes they are worth it - rather like being married or having a dp - ups & downs but the ups make it so worthwhile. Mine are very mature adults & independent of us but we are still part of each others lives - they matter to us & we to them. I am even - horror - friendly with their partners /spouses! I cannot imagine Christmases & birthdays without them & days out we all share (especially now we have a little next generation to enjoy)
Yes there will sleepless nights - but eventually they do get to sleep & than you have the issues of getting some of them up in the morning instead but looking at the world through a little persons eyes & enjoying & making memories . My favourite memory of them when they were little was watching them from the kitchen window at the back of the house when they were playing imaginary games by themselves or playing on the beach or suddenly figuring out counting or Christmas & a million other things & sharing all these things with my dh
Yep they are worth it

I have three and can’t give you an answer. It’s a combination of the absolute best thing I’ve ever done combined with the absolute worst thing I’ve ever done.
I imagine it might be how a heavy drug user might describe using drugs. It will ruin your life. You’ll never have any money or freedom. It will dominate your life in ways you could never comprehend but you can’t ever imagine your life without it. Nothing could ever make you feel as fulfilled.

I’ve been very lucky to have never been travel puked on by mine!

Oh stop it. If you need to anonymously ask this on a public forum: please don't even contemplate it.

Kids can be great company. My DD1 is 18 and we have loads in common. We love shopping, going for a coffee, watching the same shows and generally having a laugh together. DD2 is 13 and also has a wicked sense of humour but it is hard to find stuff we can do together as she'd rather be with or chatting to her mates. I'm hoping this will pass! I am massively proud of what lovely kids we've raised though

Well aren’t you charming.

@Babdoc thanks for wording that so beautifully it made me cry! Just what I wanted t say.

They highlight your best and worst personality traits!

I'm with the people who say if you can't think of the pros yourself it sounds like you don't really want kids.

I never even considered kids but now they are my everything. But I think when you know you know, I don’t think it’s a valid question to ask someone, I think in your heart you know if you DON’T want kids. And I think people not having children for environmental or financial reasons should rethink because they will end up bitter and lonely in the future. Fine if you don’t want them but don’t say it’s in the name of the environment because your one child is a drop in the ocean. Financially if you added up the cost of having a child nobody would say they can afford one, but you change habits and sacrifice things that you never needed anyway! Best of luck in your decision op!

Agree with this. People shouldn't have kids on a half arsed basis so if you can't think of pros for yourself thats a huge red flag and it isnt for you.

Perhaps not the day we both had norovirus. Though definitely at the tail end of it when I fed her tomato soup and she threw it up all over white-painted floorboards and said “Oh NO that’s a lot of cleaning for daddy”. But generally, yeah. She’s a hoot.

If you can't think of any pros then just don't have any. Not sure there are any real pros to be honest.

Children born today will most likely face a pretty horrible future so I would not knowingly bring a child into the world

Anyway, she came out, I didn’t have a breakdown and was surprised how nice some of it was rather than a permanent waking nightmare.

I was on an absolute high for weeks after pfb - even MW said hmm you seem to be passing baby blues by - hormonal dip common few days after birth.

Most of the stress when she was a baby was people insisting she/we needed to conform - that she need to follow a routine, sleep in cot and follow a weight percentile and stress around how she was fed - constant external pressure about bf and then weaning.

Some things I often enjoyed like bf - other mother's hate - I found toddler group good support and a way to meet people other's hate and avoid. I disliked the school gate other's find friends. I thought I'd love reading and teaching reading to my DC actually hated it.

I actually wonder (should do a study) whether women who are a bit meh about having them actually enjoy it more. I see so many threads of women who desperately wanted them and are shocked they aren't happier.

I agree with this.

Never wanted children at all. Refused to contemplate IVF when we were told we would never conceive naturally. Went through with the pg for ds1 because it was so so extremely unlikely that we would ever conceive naturally that it seemed like destiny.

My dc are the best thing that has ever happened to me and the thing I am proudest of having done. I had never begun to imagine, let alone understood, that I was capable of loving anyone as much as I love them. This is despite having a dh who I absolutely adore, who I have been with for 30 years, who is my absolute soulmate.

The love for children is a whole different level of fierceness.