Teacher insulting my daughter

[Lua1978]

I work as a teacher at the same secondary school my daughter attends. In the staff workroom yesterday, a couple of teachers were discussing which two pupils they'd overheard saying something about something another pupil had done which they needed to report as a safeguarding concern.

When one of these teachers (who clearly has no clue it's my daughter she's referring to) starts going into great depth discussing one of the girls appearance as they couldn't remember her name... all very personal comments. She then remembered the pupils name and said "oh yeah it's (dds name)" she's got a very unusual name and the only one in the school for sure.

TBH if they had said poorly applied fake tan and skirt rolled up to short I'd have thought fair enough! I'm not overly precious about my daughter but these comments were really personal. I just sat there absolutely stunned and then walked out as honestly I was going to lose my temper or cry if I didn't and I'm normally a really calm person who doesn't get worked up about stuff.

Should I report it- it was really unprofessional, obviously she had no clue it's my daughter but it was so derogatory

In light of your update I’m unsure why you are dithering re reporting it’s clearly inappropriate to describe someone in that way.

Oh just letit go.not that bad .

Have you any idea how many staff there are in a secondary school including support, admin, teaching assistants? And the teachers spend most of their time on their own in a classroom getting to know the three hundred or so kids (10 classes x 30 kids) they are responsible for each year. Take into account all the supply teachers there for a few days or few weeks, the longer term temp staff covering maternity and ill-health leave. And then to know the name of someone who has just started in the chemistry department when you teach history? Why would you?

So you weren't shock or horrified before you knew it was YOUR kid which means your perfectly fine with these teachers bullying other kids just not your princess... and there in lies the problem.

This could be a teachable moment for your colleague.

I would definitely tell her how this made you feel and that she should use different language.

She probably has no idea at the offence caused. Feedback is a gift.

Yeah. They are probably busy working rather than sitting round chatting. Hopefully that poster isn't as rude to her colleagues as she is on mumsnet!

utter bull... even if you magically have an idetic memory and remember all 400 of your co-workers they will not all remember you because thats not remotely normal.

What she said doesn't sound like your daughter , are you sure there is no one else of that name there?

Why did you sit there and take that? I’d have said something at the time and put a complaint in

Oh just letit go.not that bad .

"A face like a slapped arse"? No, that's pretty horrible. And inappropriate.

No I was horrified before that. We can all have a bit of a bitch sometimes when we've got a difficult pupil but this was a personal attack about something that a kid can do nothing about- not behaviour that the kid is choosing.

If it wasn't my daughter I would have confronted her then and there about the inappropriateness but I was so shocked and it happened so quickly that I didn't have time before she then revealed her name. She then continues with the put downs and I had to leave before I lost it.

I've only been here a couple of months and she's practically slt so there is an imbalance of power. I don't want it to look like I only care because it was my daughter otherwise I would t even be questioning reporting it!

Where does it say she's to blame??!

I was just noting it's odd she doesn't know her colleagues.

They were inexcusable comments.
If I were you I'd ask to speak with her, tell her that you heard what she said, that it is not ok to talk like that about the kids. Then let her know the child is yours.

I wouldn't confront the teacher.

I would go over their head to their superior and complain.

You don't know if it was an attack on your daughter or she was actually having a dig at you via your daughter.

Its unprofessional. So deal with it professionally.

It’s no wonder secondary schools have such problems with bullying if the teachers speak about kids like this!! I was bullied relentlessly at school it was hideous - about the way I looked and it was bad enough getting it from the kids but now thinking the teachers were possibly at it too is quite horrible! It also doesn’t surprise me why schools don’t deal with bullying effectively in the slightest- because the teachers don’t think is that bad? I’m sure that’s what someone said.

there is no need to describe someone’s looks negatively you can describe a person without being derogatory. Disgusts me that people say this is not that bad or let it go….

When the fuck did you do any work?🙄.... I work in a team of 50....I probably know 35 peoples names ...people come...people go....I work closely with about 10 people and just smile at the rest...I haven't got time to talk to people beyond being civil and exchanging good mornings .

Definitely definitely definitely ask her for a chat and tell her calmly, unemotionally what you have said here. Tell her you're not just personally hurt but that her comments were unprofessional and she should think about what she said amd also re-think how she, as a woman, describes a young female

Totally needs telling

It's unprofessional to have made those comments

I wonder what would happen if you went to her and said, 'that child you were talking about? Her full name is X, Y and Z. She was born at 5am on xx/xx/xx. Her hobbies are .... She's been struggling recently with. . . she is particularly self conscious about . . . I noted you mentioned this in your description. Her mother's name is xxx. You're looking at her'.

And walked off.

I cannot understand why you would be upset
forget it

In addition, she did know the child's name
So why did she feel the need to describe her in such an unkind name

She could have said it was "name"

"It’s no wonder secondary schools have such problems with bullying if the teachers speak about kids like this!!"

This is not bullying at all

What a ghastly school

Horrible bitching in the staff room about students personal appearance

Overhead by a teacher, who only seems bothered by fact that it is her daughter they were bitching about

I'd report it , it's a shocking way for a professional to speak about a minor in their care and if the school did nothing then I'd be getting on to what ever board teachers have to register with.

You can't understand why she would be upset?

A teacher (a paid professional), has just made derogatory comments about her daughters looks. "A face like a slapped arse", and commenting about her weight.

In what capacity is it EVER ok for a grown adult to say these things about a child? Never mind they fact they are being paid to safeguard these children. No bloody wonder bullying is so bad in schools!

Another poster got it spot on, it's clear that when some teachers enter a school building they revert back to their teenage selves.

Eyebrows like slugs is yet another hideous insult women have to endure just for having natural, unplucked eyebrows

When did eyebrows suddenly become another stixk to beat women with