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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pissed off Reception classes being split

187 replies

Irritatedmum · 05/07/2022 17:22

There are two classes in each year at my DDs school. She’s had her transition day today (moving to year 1) and has come home absolutely devastated that they’re mixing up the classes - and she’s being split from her friends. All of them. She’s devastated, I’m so upset her her. I don’t understand the reasoning for doing it (they didn’t when my oldest moved from reception) and why she’s being split from her friends. Is this a normal thing? I’ve emailed the school.

OP posts:
WimpoleHat · 05/07/2022 17:23

It is pretty normal in my experience, yes. Some kids are a nightmare together. They have a better idea of the ability of the kids after a year and don’t want a “clever” class and a “not so clever” one. All sorts of reasons why they do it.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 05/07/2022 17:24

It's quite normal. Both of mine had the classes mixed in Y1 in different schools.

cliffdiver · 05/07/2022 17:25

No one can comment on the school's rationale, but presumably one or both of the classes weren't a good mix / they needed to even out any behavioural issues / SEN / attainment.

DontLikeCoffee · 05/07/2022 17:27

They mix the classes up every year at my DC’s school. It’s to encourage them to broaden their friendship groups and to make sure they know a wider range of children. It also means they can split up kids that don’t get along.

Ours get to choose a couple of names every year that they would really like to be stick with though. The teachers are supposed to take this into account (they don’t always).

CointreauVersial · 05/07/2022 17:27

Honestly, it will seem like the end of the world right now, but it isn't. She will see her friends at breaktime and very quickly make new ones. This sort of thing will happen throughout her school career, and the schools have good reasons to do it.

cansu · 05/07/2022 17:29

The start of school is the right time to mix up the children so they can form new friendships. Communicating, sharing and learning alongside their peers is what reception is about. The school also have more to balance than simply who has been friends at nursery. They need to look at levels of need and other pastoral information. It really is unreasonable to be making a fuss about this. I would instead be talking to your dd about seeing her friend at playtime as well as making lots of new friends.

Turnthatoff · 05/07/2022 17:30

It’s normal and not something I would be emailing the school about.

Throughabushbackwards · 05/07/2022 17:32

Don't be 'that' parent. The teachers will have thought about groupings very carefully and shaped the groups according to need.

coodawoodashooda · 05/07/2022 17:33

Yeah. Don't be 'that' parent. Sorting classes is a nightmare.

Sally872 · 05/07/2022 17:33

Very normal. My dd is 12 and whole year group are friendly due to classes mixing up over the years.

PizzaPatel · 05/07/2022 17:35

You have mentioned two criteria according to which you want the classes grouped: how they were grouped this year and your child’s friendship group. The school has infinite criteria: attainment, socialisation, SEN, behaviour etc etc etc.

If you were to get your way and the classes were to remain the same in all likelihood it would have a detrimental effect in some way because the school are doing this because for their much more informed perspective it’s the right thing to do.

RandomMess · 05/07/2022 17:36

My niece was removed from her best friends to give her the chance to make better choices and not collude/follow them.

Turned out she was the core trouble maker Shock

DorritLittle · 05/07/2022 17:36

It is harsh, after one year, in my opinion. Schools say it is for good reason but it is to make life easier for them not the kids, isn't it? The reality is that some kids don't find it at all easy to transition and that most kids eventually end up sticking with their new class mates at break time. (I have been through this twice now, but after year 2). Sorry OP. I am sure your DD will be fine but it is upsetting and I do sympathise.

Narcheska · 05/07/2022 17:38

Normal in my experience. My ds1 is in y5 now and every year they mix up the classes. They do get to pick 3 friends each however and in almost all cases end U.K. with at least 1 guaranteed. There was one year Ds didn’t but he ended up making lots of new friends

SmileyPiuPiu · 05/07/2022 17:38

DontLikeCoffee · 05/07/2022 17:27

They mix the classes up every year at my DC’s school. It’s to encourage them to broaden their friendship groups and to make sure they know a wider range of children. It also means they can split up kids that don’t get along.

Ours get to choose a couple of names every year that they would really like to be stick with though. The teachers are supposed to take this into account (they don’t always).

That's a good idea

waveyourpompoms · 05/07/2022 17:39

Yes it’s normal and YABU to email the school. It’s to encourage social skills and friendships.

olympicsrock · 05/07/2022 17:40

I sympathise - sitting waiting to hear what will happen with my son in year 2. This year for the first time he is friends and is happy. It is really important for a child like him… eek

I emailed school yesterday to highlight my concern . Was told he would be with at least one of his 3 close friends…

Original poster
Irritatedmum · 05/07/2022 17:40

Thank you everyone. I do understand theres more to it than parents would realise, but at 5 years old it just seems so cruel. They’re at the stage where friendships and playing is just so important, and after spending a year building relationships for them to be taken away, you know?

OP posts:
SmileyPiuPiu · 05/07/2022 17:40

I'd be very careful not to show DD that you are pissed off in case it rubs off on her.

FrownedUpon · 05/07/2022 17:40

Completely normal. Being devastated is a bit OTT. I really wouldn’t email the school about it.

ChagSameachDoreen · 05/07/2022 17:42

She just needs to buck up and get used to it. "Devastated" is massively over-dramatic.

crosbystillsandmash · 05/07/2022 17:43

coodawoodashooda · 05/07/2022 17:33

Yeah. Don't be 'that' parent. Sorting classes is a nightmare.

It sure is!

We really don't do it with zero thought, I personally spend a lot of time getting it right.
Don't forget the children your dd is friends with, may not necessarily be the right fit for her at school.

And yes, please don't email the school, you'll be able to hear the eye roll a mile away!!!

CatkinToadflax · 05/07/2022 17:43

This happened to my DS1 and the whole experience was extremely hard on him - however he is quite severely autistic. He was in mainstream at the time, with 1:1 support, and had worked so hard in Reception to make friends. He had 3 good friends and another 5 or so children who he got on with. Every single one of them was put in the other class. We complained and the school completely ignored us. He really went into himself and was incapable of making new friends for several years afterwards. I found out years later that the headteacher had actually privately agreed with us that it was the wrong decision in his case, but wouldn’t be seen not supporting her staff’s decisions.

So in his case, it was awful and it didn’t work. However it’s happened to DS2 as well and he has always been fine. DS2 is neurotypical. My boys are teenagers now and for DS2 class changes have meant that he has a wider circle of friends as a result. Assuming your child doesn’t have any specific needs to be near her existing friends, hopefully it will work out fine and she will just broaden her friendship circle. I do sympathise though because at the time it feels so horrible.

GCRich · 05/07/2022 17:44

coodawoodashooda · 05/07/2022 17:33

Yeah. Don't be 'that' parent. Sorting classes is a nightmare.

In my experience it is perfectly possible (not saying likely, just possible) that it was not a nightmare sorting the classes as the school might have done it pretty much randomly, and that they will be happy to address REASONABLE concerns that parents might raise.

I can see the benefit of mixing up clases and forcing kids to work at friendships with different people... but equally making a tiny child cry by telling them that they'll no longer be in a class with all their friends is hardly great teachering IMHO.

underneathleaf · 05/07/2022 17:44

DontLikeCoffee · 05/07/2022 17:27

They mix the classes up every year at my DC’s school. It’s to encourage them to broaden their friendship groups and to make sure they know a wider range of children. It also means they can split up kids that don’t get along.

Ours get to choose a couple of names every year that they would really like to be stick with though. The teachers are supposed to take this into account (they don’t always).

Or the teachers do take it into account but disagree! Children do not always work well with their friends, or even get along well with who they thing they are friends with.

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