Pissed off Reception classes being split

[Irritatedmum]

There are two classes in each year at my DDs school. She’s had her transition day today (moving to year 1) and has come home absolutely devastated that they’re mixing up the classes - and she’s being split from her friends. All of them. She’s devastated, I’m so upset her her. I don’t understand the reasoning for doing it (they didn’t when my oldest moved from reception) and why she’s being split from her friends. Is this a normal thing? I’ve emailed the school.

At this age they have different friends every five minutes - young kids are so adaptable they will have forgotten about the old gang by lunchtime.

I work in yr R and our school always splits classes for a number of reasons. We usually always make them do a friendship circle (where they choose 3 friends that we try and make sure they have one they will be with). We also mix so that there are good behavioural and academic balances so the children can benefit most. It also helps them to mix and widen friendship circles - they will often still see each other at times that they are allowed to play breaks etc. so still maintain friendships across the classes and when they get mixed again they sometimes end up together at some point in the end.

every year some parents and children are left upset but often it’s just at projected or perceived worries and when the kids actually start in their new class they find their own place. Of course as a parent, if you have worries or she is really not with any of her friends, speak to them in case there has been an oversight. If they stay in the same friendship/classes too long you get more personality clashes/ fall out and they aren’t prepared for any future transitions like Jrs/high school. It’s really hard to keep the mum worry in check sometimes (I’m guilty myself! ) but I’d hold fire on worrying until there is something to worry about. <3

Our school doesn't mix the classes until they get to juniors. I think this is the best way as by the time they get ti year 3 they are much more confident and have the benefits of the familiarity of the same class while they are tiny, but then have all the benefits of mixing when they reach the age where it will do them good to shake up their little established friendship groups a bit.

OP I might be completely off the mark here, but if your daughter has been split up from her friends are you sure one of the other parents hasn't requested that their child is in a different class to yours? It does otherwise seem strange that the teachers have chosen to do this.

My daughter (also 5) has been separated from her best friend who she has known since birth. It's a shame but I am not hugely surprised and I am not upset.

I am not writing in to complain because I know the teachers wil have a reason - probably that my daughter bosses her friend around and the friend will do better without her! Also, even if you do complain they won't do anything about it because otherwise they'll have to accommodate all parents requests/complaints as well as considering everything else.

They will still see each other in the playground and we will arrange regular play dates. Luckily they make friends quickly at this age

I feel for your DD, OP. This happens every year at my DC’s school. I can’t think of one parent or child who likes it. It’s really unsettling for the children and leads to lots of issues with children being split from friendship groups etc. I’ve also worked as a teacher and would always ensure children were with at least one or two friends if we had to mix children but that hasn’t always been the case at our school. Some children do thrive on it and it doesn’t really bother them. Others have been really upset by it, particularly when there doesn’t seem to be a good reason (that they can understand) behind the separation from a close group. Teachers can and frequently do get it wrong. Sometimes it really is as simple as moving the quiet, even tempered good girl in the class across to make up numbers, giving no thought to her welfare. I can assure you that a lot more thought goes into ensuring that the children with behavioural issues are in the right place for them than the goes into where the kids who are no bother end up. It’s usually these children who are most upset IME, often understandably so.

Maybe they don’t work well together in the actual class or distract each other. I guess you could ask the teacher the reasoning behind it. I know you think it’s cruel after one year at school but then what if they did it after two or three years? It’s partly so that when they go to secondary school they know a lot of kids.

Your DD will take her lead from you; so if your attitude is ‘how wonderful a chance to make lots of new friends’ she will be fine.
If you weep and wail and say how awful then she will find it difficult to cope with.

Many schools routinely mix classes every year/couple of years.
Some schools do it when there is a class imbalance - due to pupil personalities, issues with friendship groups, imbalance of SEND/needs, etc.

There will be a reason - ask the teacher why the decision was made for this year.

We have mixed up a year group this year - first time in a long time. However, the classes have a real imbalance in their make up, made even more so this summer as 4 children are leaving (2 of whom have significant needs.)

However, we did tell parents and children in advance (as it is unusual to do at my current school) and we asked children to send in 3 names of friends they'd like to be with. We guaranteed they'd be with one of those children from their list (but not necessarily all three.) We have a 3 form intake so it took a while, and 3 weeks after finding out and doing some transition in their new groups they seem to be getting along with with no issues.

Schools say it is for good reason but it is to make life easier for them not the kids, isn't it?

It is very often for the benefit of many of the children in my experience.
Maybe not one or two individuals, but for the children as a whole and for lots of other children it can be very beneficial.

Our mix is definitely not for our staff's benefit. The year group are moving into Juniors, a whole different school and staff team.

Ditto. DS has requested 3 friends to move up with and not got one of them. He is sad, and we have emailed school.

I'd suggest talking to the school. Emails sent less than a couple of hours after school ends could be seen as just being heat of the moment reactions.

Probably a good reason for it, and if it has the side impact of building up resilience, so much the better.

This is completely normal. Out of my three children, only one has ever had a class stay the same for more than one academic year - same class for years 5 and 6. That was due to some specific issues within the year group that had taken a long time to manage, meaning that they didn't want to disrupt it once they'd got it right.

I think it’s very cruel, especially when all the other friends are remaining together and your daughter will be left out.

Be ‘that’ parent who stands up for their child.

Could this be to catch some of them up after the school closures throughout the pandemic? We’ve been advised that DD’s class will be taught in two cohorts for Maths and English next year for this reason, and will then come together as a full class in the afternoon.

It may well be that your child has been causing some trouble and needs to be removed from the friendship group, if they are the only one of their group that are being separated.

Quite normal in schools with more than one class per year. I went to a school with 3 classes per year and happened to me a few times. I totally get the sadness op. Sucks she's been split from her friends.

thankfully my own children go to a smaller school with one class per year!

This is how it worked for us, too. They also brought two classes together for some subjects like Science or music.

What's weird is the lack of communication. The same is happening with DDs reception classes (it didn't happen with DSs class) but they explained the reasoning over a month ago, explained why this year but not every year. They gave everyone a chance to discuss worries with the class teacher. They offered children (and parents) a chance to bake a few children they would, and wouldn't want to be in a class with. They spent a few sessions 'trialling' different combos (so they say, I dunno if that's true or if they just went straight for the one they were planning but they had a few sessions to try it anyway). Then last week they let us know who was in which class and today was transition day. All very well communicated and explained, no problem for the children.

My DD was very upset when her school did this last year, she was also moved from all of her friends. A year later and she's absolutely thriving, she's made new friends as well as still playing with her old friends at playtime and both classes are doing really well because they are mixed better.

There are so many reasons for mixing the classes and the changes are to benefit everyone (including the children, it certainly isn't just for the teachers). My daughter was falling well below where she was expected to be at the start of the year and being with her friends wasn't helping because she was losing confidence and giving up, since she's been in a new class shes reached all of her expected targets in a year. There were also alot of children who needed additional support in her reception class so none of those children were getting a good level of education (without taking lockdown and homeschooling into account!) by mixing them up it became more balanced and all of the children benefit when things are more equal. It promotes their social skills too. That's why they mix up the classes. I know it's upsetting but in a year, she very likely won't even remember being upset.

Definitely speak to the teachers. They might not be able to change it, but if you understand the reasoning you’ll be able to support your dd better.

YANBU. At least with regards to the communications bit that was clearly massively lacking. I've had kids at one form entry schools (which was lovely tbh and these kids will be friends for life) and where they've mixed classes up after a year or so. Where they did mix classes up, there was plenty of notice given and children were asked to list 5 kids/friends - better chance that they will end up with at least one kid.

The teachers haven't just given themselves extra work for fun - I used to teach and it's done for good reason and to help the children's learning. They're in class to learn not be with their friends. 'Devastated' is just ridiculous, it's not as if a classmate has died!

Completely normal in our school, it's happened at every year from Reception.

Its normal.

The teachers know something you aren't aware of.

They don't do it without reason.

I know my son's year really well. When they did this and certain kids were split from others, I could tell you EXACTLY why they had and why they were completely right to do it.

The parents kicked off, but I KNOW why those kids were moved and it was a good thing.

Trust them.

Normal but upsetting at the time for parent and child. But as others have said it will work out ok. Promise more play dates and that she can still play with her friends at break. Of course a lot of year 1 is sit down work so most of playtime will be the actual breaks anyway