Pissed off Reception classes being split

[Irritatedmum]

There are two classes in each year at my DDs school. She’s had her transition day today (moving to year 1) and has come home absolutely devastated that they’re mixing up the classes - and she’s being split from her friends. All of them. She’s devastated, I’m so upset her her. I don’t understand the reasoning for doing it (they didn’t when my oldest moved from reception) and why she’s being split from her friends. Is this a normal thing? I’ve emailed the school.

They didn't at my children's school but I wish they did, having opportunity to get to know more people has to be a good experience from our experience

Totally agree Cooda - schools put a huge amount of thought into this when they mix classes. There is no way it is random.
There's an element of 'randomness' in REception as less is known about all the pupils coming in, but once they know them, it is very carefully thought through.

Ours get to choose a couple of names every year that they would really like to be stick with though. The teachers are supposed to take this into account (they don’t always).

Or maybe they are taking note of others saying please could my dc not be with ChildX due to the way they dominate them throughout the day. Or maybe they are aware that - although they are friends, Child A and Child B are actually a nightmare in class together and would do better if learning in different classes, whilst obviously still able to play together during every play time.

Agreed

Very normal thing to do.

The job of the parent here is to explain that this is fine, it’s not going to be problem, they’ll see their existing friends at play time/ can have play dates etc and will make lots of new friends in the new class. The job of the parent is not to make this into a big deal.

We have had this situation with my DS too but his school has mixed tears so there’s a lot of potential for being without friends. I don’t blame you for feeling pushed off. I’d first and foremost be positive for your daughter, I’ve found with DS that being sympathetic but also emphasising that I know he’ll be ok and I have every faith in him making new friends has helped him feel more resilient. The kids whose parents have just said it’s awful etc, I think the kids internalise that their parents don’t think they will cope. I hope that it will stand him in good stead for secondary as hard as it has been at times.

Before the end of term, id also have a quiet word with the teacher about why it has worked out that way. Sometimes they don’t really realise who a child’s close friends are as they seem to play with a wide circle. Or it could be how they work together. Either way, having some reasons behind it might help you at least and it has been gently flagged. Honestly, if I’ve ever mentioned something like this, teachers have been happy to have a quick word and sometimes there’s an explanation that really makes sense. They would rather know earlier than later about a potential issue in my experience.

I understand where you are coming from. This happened to my now 15 year old going from reception to year 1. She was also separated from her friends. She went from a child who happily went into school, to one who was crying and upset every morning and whose hands I had to peel from the pushchair handle so I could hand her over to the TA. This was our lives for 6 weeks at the start of year 1 but then we luckily moved abroad - her new school also mixed them up every year but always ensured they had at least one friend.

As a teacher (and a parent of 4) it is in the children's interest NOT the school to mix classes. My children's school does it each year and it has widened my children's social circle, emotional and social skills and opened them up to differing interests. As for the schools perspective it will be based on many criteria. Single form entry schools and their parents/children have my condolences because if there is a clash of peers or a difficult group together then they are stuck until high school. It might feel like the world is ending for now but it will be forgotten within minutes in the new class

I would be upset too, my daughter is same age. Her classes don’t get mixed ever and teacher even said when they move up to the next local school, generally they try and keep them together. Never understood the need to make new friends what wrong with sticking with the people you have grow strong bonds with! I’d be devastated if my daughter lost all her friends to another class.

This happened to my DD twice. I was definitely more worried then her, within a few days she'd made a few new friends and still played with her others on the playground. I way over reacted lol feel a right tit when I look back and think of the email I sent

This is your moment to make it a positive, fun and totally normal thing. She will look to you for how to deal with this. If you show her that this is terrible then that is how she will view it . If you say "Wow that's exciting, I wonder who your new friends will be. How exciting to be able to meet new children. " then the worry will evaporate. Two days into the new year she will have a new special friend. Have a look at the names of children in the new class. Is there anyone she could have round for tea before term ends so she isn't worrying through the holidays.

It's normal now and was normal when I was a kid too but if she's not with any of her friends at all then it can't hurt to contact the school and ask if it can be changed. There may be a kid in the other class that is in the same situation, you never know unless you ask.

I’m afraid schools don’t revolve around individual children. Plus it’s character building, she will make new friends.

Our school do this, the younger cohort stay with the reception kids, the older ones move into the year 2 and so on. It's brilliant as they get extra time to catch up, for example my daughter is an August baby so nearly a full year younger than the oldest kids. She gets extra help with things without feeling like she's being singled out as my other August baby did as they were removed from class to get the extra help at our old school. She will make lots of friends and will boost her confidence as she'll be able to show the little ones the ropes and feel like a grown up girl. I promise she'll be fine

We used to do this but our head would ask us to look at her lists and check each class for range of ability, behaviour and friendships. She would then make any changes based on our recommendations. Very occasionally parents did query it and if there was a good reason she would move a child if she could. Mostly we had no complaints because a lot of planning went into it.

Had this happen to my daughter every year they mixed up the classes really affected my daughter and made her really unhappy at school was always the one separated from group would make new friends and next year get separated again. After giving it time and repeated discussions with teachers about it affecting my daughter being seriously unhappy at school to a point on not wanting to go. I Ended up complaining to school head who was useless and didn’t care even accused me of being too sensitive and being upset as I had just had a baby 🤬 so went to school council member who was a friend and got it sorted straight away. Daughter was so much happier and school work improved. Head hated me after but got the sack recently so proves he was useless at his job.

There are so many adults with crippling social anxiety, poor social skills, an absolute terror of joining any new group/ trying anything new , because there will be people they don't know. It doesnt matter whether you are 5 or 105 ,the ability to walk into a room and chat to a new person, is a life skill every bit as important as being able to read and write. The sooner you realise that there are nice people wherever you go the better. If you are thrown into this as a child it will change your life. The idea of being in the same class all through primary and then going to secondary in the same group is dreadful. Going to things on your own and meeting a new friend is brilliant, yet so many people are terrified of it.

She is already. She says she has emailed already.

Hi, I totally feel your pain. My ds moved up to year 4 last year, they went from 2 classes to 3 (one being a mixed class) - only him and one other child from his class (not a friend) were placed in the new class - the rest were all kept together. He was devastated and I was so upset for him. No one could give me a reason either! However, when the time came, he was absolutely fine…. Quickly made new friends, and there were no issues at all. Hopefully it’ll be the same for your little one too xx

I hope it's just skewed towards the younger/older half of the class, not strictly by age? DS was one of the very youngest in the year and in the lower half of a 2/3, 3/4, then a 4/5 class, the placements were right for him and his ability.

It's not necessary to communicate this message to every parent/child impacted. There isn't the time in the school day.

I suspect the class lists were made and finalised on Monday. Approved by key stage lead and head, as well as current and future class teacher. Then sent out on Tuesday. As quick of a turnaround as that.

AngelinaFibres, or you spend the whole of the year miserable and left out with no friends.

I don't believe that every single person on this thread has dc who happily and easily make new friends. Yes some will but others will find the whole thing more difficult.

My DS is starting reception in Sept and has been separated from his friends and put in a class with his bully against the professional advice of his nursery. I'm heartbroken and have to trust/hope the school handle it well.

Hes stuck there for his entire time at primary too as they don't mix classes at all.

Assuming they have the same playtimes as the other class in their year group, then it won't necessarily be any different to if her friends remained in the same class. In year 1 they move (wrongly in my opinion) to much more structured learning, sitting at tables determined often by ability rather than friendship groups. So playtime is when they get to play with their friends or (which happens more commonly) they become friends with the similar-ability children sitting at their table. At my children's very small school they have composite classes with two year groups of about 10-12 children in each class - so each year their classes change because either they move up to the next class or the younger year group moves up to theirs. They all just seem to mix in and quickly make new friends or re-establish old friendships.

Yabu it's normal

They mix classes every year in my DD’s school. The first time, she was upset when she found out, I was as well because she struggles to make friends however she adjusted within a week. Since every one now knows they mix classes every year, the children don’t even mind anymore. She’s in y4 now and 2 of her friends are not going to be in the same class as her next year but she didn’t even give it any thought. They still play together at break time, after school, etc anyway