Pissed off Reception classes being split

[Irritatedmum]

There are two classes in each year at my DDs school. She’s had her transition day today (moving to year 1) and has come home absolutely devastated that they’re mixing up the classes - and she’s being split from her friends. All of them. She’s devastated, I’m so upset her her. I don’t understand the reasoning for doing it (they didn’t when my oldest moved from reception) and why she’s being split from her friends. Is this a normal thing? I’ve emailed the school.

Its totally normal to mix them up every year from what other posters have said .

My eldest DS, when he started in Reception, he had a new class for each year. Yr1 and Yr 2. At his current school he is in Yr 3 and we were all emailed out with a form that we had to fill in to say who he would like to be with and who he doesn't want to be with when they go into their new class in September. We find out what class he will go into on Thursday.

Some schools do it so that children can get to know others that they may not have mixed with the previous yr, to balance the needs of each class be it be in in groups of higher or lower levels of ability (that's what my secondary school did many years ago)

At the age your daughter is, I am sure that she will make new friends and she will still get to see her current friends at brake time.

If you stress and make a big deal of it, then she will pick up on it and not want to go and try and make new friends

The classes are completely shuffled every year at my DD’s school. They were at my school growing up as well. If your older child’s class was held together, I’m wondering if that was a Covid bubble anomaly.

Very good to mix the classes. It's good for children to make new friends, they can still play with their old friends at break times. Classes often need to be balanced, certain children separated and so on.

DS started school as one of 110 reception children and classes were mixed every year, he was also in a 2/3 class and a 3/4 class. Children were kept with at least one friend, but this became easier in later years as they had got to know many more children in their year group.

DS then adapted well to moving primary schools, and starting at a secondary where he knew no one.

It’s normal. We had a bad experience when DD1 was separated from all of her friendship group in Year 1. She cried gif about 6 weeks still she made some new friends, but she’s now in year 5 and the groups have shifted a bit every year. I feel your pain. I complained when she was put on her own but didn’t get anywhere.

I can't even begin to tell you the many reasons YABVVVVU

It's not just about your child.

It's normal but it's cruel I remember this happening to me going from year 7 to year 8. I was separated from all my friends they all became closer and I was left out didn't go to school much after this. I think emailing was absolutely the right thing because if there isn't a significant reason for moving her maybe they can re consider

We’ve found the friendships have changed considerably during year 1 and that’s with it being the same group as when reception, the teacher has mixed them up a lot and regularly, she’s made a point of separating the friendship groups they came into the year with to broaden the class overall and all seem to have benefitted from it, it seemed harsh when they first went into year 1 but makes sense now - it will likely all work out completely fine!

It's very normal.
It isn't "cruel" - don't be ridiculous.
A LOT of thought will have gone into balancing the two classes in all sorts of ways and for reasons you will probably never know.

Nobody is stopping friendships. The children can still choose who they play with at playtime and and lunchtime and outside of school if they want to - so if they really do have strong friendships, they will continue. It is your job as parent to remind her of that, and say how lovely it will be to meet and make even more friends next year on top of the ones she already has.

Very normal in the 12 years ive had school age kids.
Nothing to be pissed off about. You have many years of school stuff ahead that is more likely to piss you off.

Ours has done the same tho 3 classes so 90

5 and dd are moving to new class I. Year 1 with obv 24 from the other 2 classes

I am a bit pissed off as she plays more and is friends with children in the other 2 classes - either of them would have been fine

yes she will survive and will play with the others but I’ve never heard of mixing them up

and then to make it even worse the head has decided that in 2yrs time so end of year 2 , the same thing will happen. And again end of year 4

so yet again will mix up. Yes she may be back with some of her fab friends now. Who knows

equally she may make good friends with the new class and be with them for 2yrs only to be split again

blondes heaves bosum and downs gin

Happened to me in secondary school, felt being punished for the naughty classes actions, it’s sucked. I’d be very pissed off OP, and I’d write in. Yep

Why does everyone assume the child will adapt and be fine?
Some children aren't as adaptable as others.
It seems odd that she won't have a single friend in the new class.
If she is upset and crying, I would let the school know. Much better to do it now than afterwards.
I know a child who went to a secondary school with lots of other children from her primary school but was put in a class with nobody from her primary school.
It's caused a lot of upset for her and her whole family and two years later she has struggled to settle.
Children are different.
You know your daughter best.

I would imagine it is also linked to your concern about being excluded from the secondary friendship that the mothers of all the girls have. I have seen this play out for my children and professionally. It is never a big issue at all, but parents love to make it one.

The number of times parents have complained about the set their child is in, or the peers their children is with or something else a parent perceives to be wrong is astonishing. It’s incredibly entitled. Teachers strive to do the absolute best for every child and then the class overall. It’s an impossible task. Their priority is not who plays with who at lunchtime. They also witness far more of the nuance of interactions than a parent ever will.

She will still see them before school, at breaks, at lunchtimes, after school and any time you choose to set up a playdate.
And in year 1 there is much less free play time during actual lessons.
My DC went to a school that mixed classes every year. They took the approach that this meant they could make new friends whilst still seeing old ones. Your child will only be "devastated" if you encourage her to be.

Absolutely do contact the school. My Dsis is a primary teacher and reports instances of management stepping in and making random switches of children for god knows what reason after the teachers have spent hours on class lists. Your DD should be with at least one friend.

op my twins go into year 1 in september ; also a dual class system and theirs is being mixed up too. I've been led to believe from a member of staff that one class had a much larger number of children needing more attention for various reasons so evening out the classes benefits just about everyone. I understand your disappointment though;and it may be worth just mentioning your dds upset at being with none of her friends to see if anything can be done.

Very normal unfortunately

A little upsetting for her but a normal thing for schools to do. Just use it as an opportunity to build her resilience! There’ll always be lots of changes/things she’s unhappy with at school and it’s important you don’t give off the message of ‘mum will email and sort it out’. I say this as a teacher of a Y6 class with lots of parents who constantly complain about the slightest inconvenience. Their children are now on a secondary transition week and are struggling MASSIVELY despite all the work we’ve put in.

Blimey - parents at my Child’s school are constantly asking teachers stuff. I’m often what the heck?! There are 30 kids and one teacher, how can they follow up on every trivial thing. In my book though, this is a pretty big deal, too big, to do it completely unannounced. My child got to choose three friends for a 2 night residential and we were talked through the details of the trip. I get that it might be desirable to make some changes if that possibility is there, however in single class intakes it’s not an option and everyone seems to survive. You are your child’s advocate. Don’t ‘complain’ just ask for further information on the rationale and relay how upset she is. That way you can support your daughter by explaining the why or see if a change is feasible if the change seems unwarranted. You never know, there may be another parent thinking the same so a swop could be made. I am sympathetic to teachers overwhelmed with trivia but on this one I think you reap what you sow - choose to share no information with parents and you can expect lots of individuals contacting the school.

I'd speak to the teachers, they did this with DC1 but it wasn't out of the blue. We'd discussed at parents evening how DD was being overpowered by her friendship group.
However they also did it with DC3's class and it was due to a majority of children with additional needs in the other class and two children who's parents had formed a relationship and didn't want the children to be in the same class. They simply picked the same amount from DC's class to swap,
I asked for DC to stay and as it happened another parent wanted their DC to switch so mine stayed with his friends.

It might be normal but it still really hurts when it's YOUR dc that appears to have been separated from their friends.
OP this happened to my dd as she started Y3. I was absolutely gutted & doubt any parent would be happy about it! She was in a different class to ALL her friends & with a lot of children with behaviour issues.
I spoke to the headteacher who tried to put my mind at rest but I was very upset. It was awful.
However, it was all for the best. She became much more independent & developed communication skills that saw her through her teenage years & was able to converse & be diplomatic with anybody. She is now a very well balanced young woman who is well equipped for the world.
If she'd gone with all her friends it might have been different. She still saw them of course but it took them out of each others pockets.
Just as a disclaimer, the school staff still talk about how difficult a lot of her class was even 10 years later!
There will be a positive side to this but I do feel for you.

Its completely normal at ds school he was separated from all his friends because he messed around with them and the next year he was back with a few then rejigged again, they normally don't tell parents the classes in advance ro stop all the parents complaining there kids have been separated from friends

The teachers didn’t have a say in it. They found out the same time as us

all the head

and no she isn’t swapping any children about

i wouldn’t mind so much but there are 3 girls including dd from her old class. She doesn’t really play with either and prefers
any of the other think 11 which are now 5 and 6 split into the other 2 new classes

why not if 15 girls split 555 to the 3 new classes

Theres always a parent that contacts the school and very rarely do they change their mind. It will probably happen when she enters KS2, again when they start secondary school and again when options are picked. It’s upsetting each time but they do get over it and make new friends. You need to be positive about it in her presence so as not to upset her any more than she is already.

I would raise it with the school. They may not be able to change it but could at least explain the rationale behind it.