Pissed off Reception classes being split

[Irritatedmum]

There are two classes in each year at my DDs school. She’s had her transition day today (moving to year 1) and has come home absolutely devastated that they’re mixing up the classes - and she’s being split from her friends. All of them. She’s devastated, I’m so upset her her. I don’t understand the reasoning for doing it (they didn’t when my oldest moved from reception) and why she’s being split from her friends. Is this a normal thing? I’ve emailed the school.

You aren’t being unreasonable to be upset & neither is your daughter but this is not a new thing. All schools do it.
Our school did this but they did the split by date of birth. The cut off date for birthdays meant that for 3 years running loads of class friends were separated. They could play together at playtime so still got to see each other but when covid hit & class groups were put in bubbles that all stopped.
Thankfully when they split our kids classes all our children made new friends in their class group & so they now have a bigger friend group.
Hopefully your child will have the same experience.
I would have a word with her teacher, explain the friends issue & see if they can do any moving around to help your LG be left with at-least one friend.

I’m interested in hearing about how this ‘makes things easier for them’?

I get why you're upset OP, it's the communication. I only know that my DS's class (also reception) is being mixed up, because the head told the new intake parents at their welcome day, that they had got the classes 'terribly wrong' this year, and will be mixing up the classes (they don't usually). I only know as one of the Mum's in my son's class was at the talk for her younger DS. The school haven't said anything to us, the actual parents of the kids concerned. Still have no idea what the classes will be next year.

But, I guess schools don't do it for the fun of it. When my son finds out his class, I'll be selling it as fantastic. I do hope he's with a few of his good mates though. I can see why you would be upset that your DD's not with any of hers.

She'll be fine and will make new friends. She'll also see her old friends at playtime and lunchtime - every day.

They do the same at my son's school - but mix them up for Year 3. He's coming to the end of Year 3 now and is not signing signs of any emotional trauma caused by the class split 🙃

It’s very normal my daughters class has been mixed every year since reception and she’s just finished year 8, although set for most subjects since year 5. There are really good reasons for doing it, the kids don’t agree of course! It prevents cliques, mixes sexes better if there’s an imbalance, disrupts unhealthy relationships, forces kids to learn about making new friends and widening their friendship circles. Kids are emotional about it, be confident teachers are doing the best thing based on years of experience and no emotional involvement. Try and make it a positive conversation it’s been brilliant for mine and I think particularly good for girls…

Totally normal in my kids school, in fact they usually make changes each year. Reasons are:
to ensure the ability of pupils is fairly split across the two classes.
spilt up any children that clash or cause disruption.

They may have done it due to behaviour issues. You can’t have a too heavy class of children who don’t behave (one of the reasons teachers are walking out) it’s not fair on the other children or the teachers to be having to deal with that all the time. I would imagine there needed to be a better balance.
If she has literally no friends then you could send an email, however, be prepared that it may be for a reason she has been separated

I can understand why you are feeling sad for your daughter but I bet this time next year she'll have so many new friends. Please try not to worry.

As a teacher, I had a parent complain I moved her son from his best friend. It took everything I had not to say i purposefully split them because of the imbalance of power. He was constantly being manipulated and controlled. They could then still play on playground if they chose to but said child was given some break from friend's control during learning time I.e. could start to have the opportunity to make own choices, not guilted into decisions, more say in group tasks, all leading to more confidence etc.

The are so many reasons. Just try to trust the school.They will have considered this very carefully. It is a very, very big picture with so many factors.

Wow, get you Sigmund Freud.

Maybe a significant number of children are shy or socially anxious but with a bit of care and gentleness, many of them will grow out of it as they get older.
The 'tough love' mentality doesn't work for all children.

Wow, get you Sigmund Freud.

Maybe a significant number of children are shy or socially anxious but with a bit of care and gentleness, many of them will grow out of it as they get older.
The 'tough love' mentality doesn't work for all children.

I've raised a question as well, my daughter has been put with the teacher I was hoping for (yay) but without her two best friends.

I'm waiting for an explanation before I get grumpy. She's got documented social difficulties due to suspected ADHD, these friends were hard won.

It's nothing to do with tough love. It's about building resilience, creating better balanced classes for the benefit of the children in them, presenting children with managed challenges. We have no idea what the situation is with Ops daughter and her friendship group and whether the dynamics of that aid or drastically hinder her or their learning.

I'd say it was more Piaget than Sigmund Freud .

Why on earth would you email the school? It’s not uncommon and is good for the kids to form new friendships!

I'd say it's more BS

Surely she and her current friends will still be together at playtime? This should just widen her friendship group.

Not RTFT but have read the OP’s comments.

My eldest got to the end of his reception class and when he was moving to year 1, not only did he not have a single friend with him, there was also only about 5 kids from his previous class going into the new one.

I talked to a friend of mine who not only had children in the school, but also helped out in the school (and later went on to become a TA then a teacher). She told me not to worry - she said that in all her years she had never seen a wrong decision over placement in new classes and that they spend a long time working out the best groupings for the following year.

Academically, she was right - he absolutely shone from year 1 onwards and perhaps separating him from his friends who were distracting him was the best plan. Friendship wise, he had friends still - but that friendship group from reception are still going strong now (aged 17) and he’s not part of that at all which is a little sad. He’s never really had many friends now that I look back and think about it - but the ones he does have are GOOD friends, really genuine and the sort he’ll have for life.

Would his friendship group have been different had he stayed with them? I have no way of knowing. But I do know he’s now looking at Russell group universities and if he hadn’t knuckled down from an early age, maybe he wouldn’t have that opportunity now!

Your daughter will be ok. They make new friends much easier at the younger age. The school is privy to a lot more than you are - maybe she sees that the friendships aren’t healthy for your daughter (my youngest was separated from his cousin after reception class because the school saw that she was bossing him around, he’d do whatever she said/asked/told him to do for example - but I didn’t see that out of school) and so they want to give her the chance to make better friends. Or maybe they’ve felt your daughter needs more support academically and do have put her in a different class. Or that her friends need more support. Perhaps your daughter is gifted so they are putting her with a group to push her.

Many schools do lots of combined year group activities, so it may only be when she’s in the physical class room that she won’t see her old friends, but for things like PE, drama, etc they might all work together still!

Please try not to worry.

Our new class isn’t ability

without sounding cocky or pushy my 5yr can write her name , read well and spell simple words

least 2 in her new class can barely write their name , not sure about reading but def can’t spell simple words if having difficulty spelling and writing own name

Did the school reply to your email @Irritatedmum

Ah see I think if this is what the school do or are planning on doing, they need to communicate with the parents and kids (in a way) earlier on so they can be prepared.

DS's school don't do this. He is moving into yr1 with his current reception class and will continue through his school until yr 4 when he goes to middle school and then his year group mixes with all the other feeder schools.

If I just found out suddenly that he wouldn't be with his current class next year I would be annoyed.

We were mixed up every year (3 form entry) and it was just the norm. Nobody expected to stay as 'a class' in any way, and parents were not consulted or given any input. It's just what happened. Some years, disappointing, other years, good. It was much less of an issue that it seems to be now. You played with people from whatever class you wanted on the playground, and sometimes the year group mixed up for things like maths or spelling or whatever, into sets ,or did projects and topics with the other classes. You felt yourself part of a year group, rather than a class. It was always a surprise for the first day of school whose class you would be in, and who would be with you. Not always pleasant or happy surprises, no, and the waiting could be hard, but it was just accepted as standard.

YANBU. Yes it's normal unfortunately but the school should have communicated this with you and other parents at the beginning of the year. It is perfectly reasonable to speak with them about the reasons behind their choice for your child especially if your child has been selected as the 15 going into a mixed year group out of a 45 cohort. It may be that they select children by age and to me that is much fairer

I didn’t vote because I don’t think you’re being unreasonable in that you’re concerned for your daughter, but maybe unreasonable because it’s a common practice. Some children will find this really challenging, especially if they’re shy and find it difficult to make friends. I would make an appointment to go into school to discuss it if you feel that it will be upsetting for your child.

They did this in my neice’s school one year. Only because when they get the names for reception, they don’t know anything about the kids, one year they had two classes of 30 children and one class ended up having 9 children with emotional, behavioural or learning difficulties that’s weren’t known about when they first put them in classes in reception. They amended the next year so that they were split 4 and 5 based on similar needs to allow the teachers and teaching assistants to get the right balance of kids to teach in each class. It also allowed them to share a couple of TA’s for children who ended up with EHCP’s that requires the couple of kids to have assistance in small groups, leaving the teacher more able to teach those kids without EHCP’s

My oldest school did this every year, and it hit her hard in year 1/ year 2 because she had been bullied terribly and was being split from her best friend, but was still with some of her other friends.
I battled them over it but got nowhere, the only thing that saved her more heartache was that her bully changed schools.
The only positive was that now in year 6 they are like one big group, they all all mix well and are friends. Eventhough they are still in separate classes.

Speaking as a primary teacher, sorting classes is a bloody nightmare, always takes ages, and I can promise you, A LOT of thought has gone into it.

There are so many factors to take into consideration. At this age, your DD will be completely fine. She'll make new friends in class, and see the old ones at play and lunch time.