Feeling sick at how much I’m spending on kids party

[Mum5432]

Can’t really talk to anyone in RL as they will think I’m really tight with money or stupid.

I’m having my first ever party for my son who is primary school age. I looked into lots of options like hiring a hall etc. but it was too much headache as I would have to source the food, entertainment etc. myself and I just don’t have time.

So I booked softplay as I don’t need to worry about anything they will provide everything. I worded the invite very carefully to explain the party will be for named child only and not siblings so that bit is sorted.

but I’m getting really worried about the spiralling costs as I didn’t factor in that my son and his younger siblings count in the list too so it’s £25 EACH just for birthday boy and his brothers and sisters! I’ve also had to invite cousins from both sides as we get invited every year. I’ve also let few close friends bring their younger children as they have no childcare so that’s another £25 for 4 siblings = £100!

I’m really worried as when I planned this with DH I budgeted 6-8 kids from school. Didn’t realise my kids would also have to pay. Plus I have to pay for the adult entry. How the hell do people afford this! The play centre is booked every weekend. There was a cancellation so I managed to grab a spot on DS actual birthday date. It’s ridiculous. Not sure what I’m looking for from this thread.

Combination of factors.

Mess, a hall is easier to clean.

Space, a hall has more space for kids to run

Numbers, You can invite more kids. Early years expectations is whole class parties.

Parents,
Many will be reluctant to drop and go with younger children. And especially in a private house where they don't know the parents.
They can hang around in a hall/softplay. It's also the only opportunity parents really get to meet other parents.

Back in the day the mums all met at school gates. These days so many kids are collected by Granny, Childminders, Afterschool, School bus, parents don't necessarily know other parents.

I don't honestly think I could drop my 5yo at the door of a family that I'd never met. And after a year in school I've only met a couple of his classmates mums.

I think it's a poor show of the soft play place to not be able to provide enough chairs and tables if they are hosting it and you're paying for it! The minimum I'd expect is a 'party room' with tables and chairs for food and maybe some games, then free run of the soft play.
Next time, have a party at home or in the park. Do a few simple games like pass the parcel or just bring some toys, footballs and bubbles along. Food can be very simple or ask everyone to bring their own picnic. Sandwiches and crisps, cocktail sausages, mini pasties, strawberries etc. loads you can buy pre done that doesn't cost the earth.

Yes - bit late now but ‘yes if you can’t get childcare, but just to warn you I don’t have budget for siblings’

I think it's a poor show of the soft play place to not be able to provide enough chairs and tables if they are hosting it and you're paying for it! The minimum I'd expect is a 'party room' with tables and chairs for food and maybe some games, then free run of the soft play.
They are providing everything.

I realise I misread it! I thought she was trying to get tables etc for this party, not thinking about future ones. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Still, £25 a head is very expensive. You're paying for the convenience, it is never a cheaper option.
I recently did 2 parties for my children that cost around £100/£150 each including food, making cakes, themed decorations (some homemade), game prizes and generous party bags. There were around 10-12 children at each party plus some parents.

Better to have it in your garden or make it a day trip somewhere, the beach maybe, with a picnic or Maccies and ice-cream afterwards. You and family can have the birthday cake at home.
Let everyone know that because of spiralling costs it's become unaffordable and you're going to the beach or a local leisure centre. We have one in Guildford with a lido, cafe and lovely gardens plus an ice-skating rink.

I just love all these garden / park / beach suggestions. Great if you have summer birthdays and live in the south where weather is a bit more reliable.
Winter birthdays in Scotland get you brolly and wellys on we are in the garden 😂even summer isn't reliable enough not to have a plan b

I've been to the same kid's July birthday the last two years. In the park because of Covid. Both years it rained - just drizzle the first year so it wasn't too bad. Last year we all got absolutely drenched as there wasn't room under the gazebo for everything!

The OP's child's birthday is in summer. THAT'S why some comments mention beach, park, picnics etc.
The suggestions would be different if it was a winter birthday and you're at liberty to have an outdoor BBQ in cooler weather too. Why would anyone want to be indoors in good weather anyway? ☀️⛱️🪁🎾🏏🥪🍦🎂

Why would anyone want to be indoors in good weather anyway because as the poster above pointed out good weather is not guaranteed she got wet two years in a row at a July birthday.

Very difficult to organise a party than can easily be moved out or in depending on the weather.
Nobody wants to be at a party in the rain or snow or when it's freezing outside.

Yep, imagine being stuck in soft play on a hot day? It's boiling here today and that would be my worst nightmare!

You plan an outdoor party. Give everyone plenty of notice and if the forecast changes and isn't great, you postpone or change location. It's not difficult.

The weather man only gives about 5 days notice at best. And even at that it's subject to change.

You can't keep rearranging parties and food. You need to fix the date at least.

I can very easily get a long range forecast. Yes, it may change but you have to be prepared for that anyway. You know that there's a very high chance of good weather for a July birthday.

Twice in the last month BBC Weather & Mrs Google have disagreed when the rain would start.
Twice I've gone with the optimistic forecast. 2-3 hours time.
Twice I've gone out for 30mins and come back to soaking wet washing.

To have an outdoor party, you need some sort of indoor backup. That is not always easy especially if your trying to avoid having your house bursting at the seems.

What is the basic package ? Prob £10/12per child

glad you sorted it out and cheeky or soft play to assume you wanted party bags etx

and def don’t pay for siblings

I’ve done both and I think a hall party is far far easier and probably not much more expensive than having it at home once you’ve factored in the possibility of having to have your carpets cleaned afterwards.

You can hire a lovely hall for around £60 for 2 hours near us, loads of of space, some have gardens as well so they can run around, there is usually a kitchen for food prep and teas and coffee, tables and chairs provided, and parents and siblings can stay if they want to.

My DS’s best party was a joint whole class one when he was 10 with a friend at a church hall with a DJ who also did games with them (lots cheaper than a children's entertainer) and we ordered pizzas in and got them a cake from Costco. We paid about £120 each and it was zero hassle.

@Mum5432 glad you managed to get the price down and feel a bit better about it. With parties, i would say they are more important to kids when they are KS1 so think of it more like a one off spend than an annual commitment. It’s a nice experience for them to look back on; you don’t have to do it every year. My son is a late July birthday too. I don’t regret spending on his last all class party as covid happened after! Nor do I regret the party at home I organised after covid. In theory a cheaper option. In practice not as I wouldn’t have done it without the back up option if the closed side gazebo I bought. This year I feel we have already ‘made enough birthday memories’ (Yukky phrase but kind of sums it up. ) so we are not doing one at all.

Our local leisure centre you can hire the sports hall. But includes music a bouncy castle which has a slide attached and they have toys ride on toys big connect 4 bats and balls basketball net etc. You have to sort food yourself.

Cancel for goodness sake!

At what point will you be grown up enough to stop following the herd? No-one is required to fork out for expensive kids parties. That's lunacy!

We did most of ours at home and only invited a few friends. The only time we spent a bit more was on a joint party with a friend in a village hall when they were 5. We paid for an entertainer who was very good and her lovely husband did all the catering. So it wasn't expensive either.

What a hassle that would be. Lots of people who could make one date may not be able to make the other, and you have to do all the planning twice.

@SleeplessInEngland exactly, not to mention the children who would be disappointed.

I've literally just had my sons 5th bday party at a soft play. It was £16.95 per head, but that was food, drinks, party bags and a treasure hunt. We also invited cousins/school friends. With his cake as well it has cost me around £500 for 20 kids. I paid a fiver each for baby bro and baby niece to attend. £25 for younger siblings is nuts. I told all parents siblings were welcome but they would need to pay their entry on the door.

Also cant believe they are charging adults, for what?!

Agree with others, say there was a misunderstanding with the venue and you are sorry but it is £25 if siblings attend.

No wonder you're feeling stressed!

have a good old fashioned party at home in the back garden never did me any any harm pass the parcel etc unless u wanted to keep up wid the joneses