Feeling sick at how much I’m spending on kids party

[Mum5432]

Can’t really talk to anyone in RL as they will think I’m really tight with money or stupid.

I’m having my first ever party for my son who is primary school age. I looked into lots of options like hiring a hall etc. but it was too much headache as I would have to source the food, entertainment etc. myself and I just don’t have time.

So I booked softplay as I don’t need to worry about anything they will provide everything. I worded the invite very carefully to explain the party will be for named child only and not siblings so that bit is sorted.

but I’m getting really worried about the spiralling costs as I didn’t factor in that my son and his younger siblings count in the list too so it’s £25 EACH just for birthday boy and his brothers and sisters! I’ve also had to invite cousins from both sides as we get invited every year. I’ve also let few close friends bring their younger children as they have no childcare so that’s another £25 for 4 siblings = £100!

I’m really worried as when I planned this with DH I budgeted 6-8 kids from school. Didn’t realise my kids would also have to pay. Plus I have to pay for the adult entry. How the hell do people afford this! The play centre is booked every weekend. There was a cancellation so I managed to grab a spot on DS actual birthday date. It’s ridiculous. Not sure what I’m looking for from this thread.

He doesn't really need 20 there. Can you not have a little party for him at home with children he does play with? Or look at community centres? There's one near me that charges £10 per hour. You usually get half an hour before the start and end to set up and clear away you don't get charged for.

We have a fold up lifetime table and two fold up benches from Costco, but I think Argos do them now too - they get used loads as other friends borrow them for their kids parties!

Cancel. Lose the deposit if necessary. That's a really pricey soft play. Around here it's more like £15 per child including party food and bag. I don't go to soft play that charge adults.

At the very least you need to charge for the siblings. It's not usual to pay for siblings. I'd also say that adults drop and run so you don't have to pay for them. Id usually pay for coffee and cake for the adults but will only invite one child nit siblings.

The hall idea is fine. Hire a bouncy castle. Set up an activity table. Play pass the parcel. Get trays of food from sainsburys or costco. Tonnes of crisps and sausage rolls. A hall isn't a cheaper option but you can have more children including siblings and will be more fun.

How do others afford it? I choose something in the £15 to £18 range and invite the minimum number allowed including my dc. So probably £150 plus cake (£15) tea and coffee for some adults £30, party bags I might spend £30 or £40 but I give them to siblings and get good stuff. £265. Nowadays I'd spend not so much because I take less friends and spend more.

For future reference, Can i just say having a summer child does not mean you are guaranteed good weather for an outdoor party...

My child born beginning of August has had 5 years running rain on the day of the party. And not the just spitting kind of rain, proper storms where guests would be dripping from walking from their car to the hall entrance lol

No issues with you inviting 25 or whatever amount of kids. It does seem like a bit of a 'look at me' statement party but there you go.

The thing i would be more worried about is the endless amount of return parties that have to 'compete' with your party. Thats the biggest problem. Every single bloody weekend is another pointless party where my dc hardly cares if they attend or not. Chances are they have played at the venue over a dozen times already. I have to go out and get another pointless painting set or whatever piece of junk and sit for a few hours trying to stop my dc playing on an electric machine that moves backwards and forwards for £2 a pop.

I used to dream of a parent who had some imagination and something worthwhile for the kids regardless of cost.

@Tessasanderson why not be that person yourself? 😉

Small parties are best, decorating cookies or cupcakes, picnic on the floor (if raining), pass the parcel, dancing statues, stuff like that

a Swiss friend of mine had these raclette pans, tiny pans, all kids could cook their own food

suitable from about age 6. make pancake batter, some boiled potatoes, some chicken and mini sausages ;pre cooked), bowl of grated cheese, bowl of sugar, some herbs and spices

my kids LOVED these mini-pan cooking parties, and made memorable combos including sausage pancakes with cinnamon sugar

They were popular parties and it took ages for the kids to cook themselves enough

they sometimes sell them at Lidl

www.amazon.co.uk/Andrew-James-Traditional-Adjustable-Thermostatic/dp/B00114MEJ4/ref=asc_df_B00114MEJ4/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=430833621319&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=594174925457753121&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1007237&hvtargid=pla-907698318898&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=103002100707&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=430833621319&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=594174925457753121&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1007237&hvtargid=pla-907698318898

Less than £40

One of the most successful parties my son had was super soakers in the garden followed by happy meals on picnic blankets. (Everybody brought their own water guns)

If you do separate gatherings for school and family like most people do ime then you'd gain a lot of room per person.

I used to dream of a parent who had some imagination and something worthwhile for the kids regardless of cost.

I’m the least look at me person I’ve ever met. And I work full time and I’m not at all creative so frankly if I can outsource a birthday party I will. Fuck imaginative. No one has to compete with me. My DD had a lovely time. Her cousins had a ball. Her friends said they had fun too, as much as you can get a sensible answer out of a 3 or 4 year old. That’s “worthwhile” enough for me.

What is with the hiring tables and chairs for a primary aged birthday party?!
They sit on the floor - outside is great, but inside if not.

I can see how you might have thought there was a “free” place for the birthday child but surprised you thought you bring 4 siblings (? - brothers and sisters, both plural?) for free?

For future parties, avoid exclusive use, that has to cost a lot to be worthwhile for the venue. Soft play parties usually just have exclusive use of a party room for 2 hours.

One of the most successful parties I did for both my kids - (ones now 25, one is 8) was a pottery painting party.
I ordered paints and ceramic items to paint from Baker Ross, a load of cheap paint brushes, cheap tablecloths. Hired a hall.
they spent most of the party working in their masterpieces. Had food, and then played music, a few games (pass the parcel, the chocolate bar game, pin the tail on the dinosaur, musical statues etc.), went really well. My 25 year old friends still talk about it now 😂😂

These prices seem to be the going rate now. You would have been given costs beforehand on their websites etc. You are paying for exclusivity so they cannot make any additional money whilst you are in there so perhaps you could’ve had it on a weekday after school as they offer that and you share with the public.

i have recently had an 11 yo party at Ninja Warrior UK at £25 a head for my son and his friends and transport costs as it was too far to expect the parents to drive and this weekend will have my soon to be 8 yo party - in a hall I have hired with a Safari man coming with lots of animals and I am doing the food and music and have organised from scratch. He’s never had a party before so went to the extra effort. So I do absolutely understand the costs of these things but I have had to budget and save for ages and they’ll never forget it. I think we’ve all been here or had similar - so lots of luck but I’d absolutely tell the siblings and friends etc they have to pay! X

@Mum5432 I'm sorry that it's all become out of hand. FWIW, I always did parties at home for my DC (who are all summer babies). You don't need to worry about a seating plan - just provide cushions/picnic rugs for them. We had a couple of parties which were rained off, so we just had a picnic and party games indoors. It was bedlam and it took me a year to get over each party, but I'd just about recovered by the time the next one came around. The good thing about 'at home' parties is that you can invite parents/siblings/cousins and it doesn't make any material difference to musical statues/sleeping lions etc. You just need to provide a few extra bits of party crap for them to eat (Tesco), and expect that nobody at all will eat your lovingly cutted up pear bits.

How much is for the kids to play no party? If its way cheaper pay for them to play for a hour, then back to yours for some cake and nibbles. A guess a lot cheaper and you tire the kids out at the play spot.

It really is a lot you could just have a cake at home and set something up in the back garden. Don’t give in to the pressures if you’ll regret spending that money later.

So glad you’ve sorted it out a bit @Mum5432 its stressful enough doing parties without extra worries!!!
i got myself in a total mess over my daughter’s first party - I ended up hiring our local hall and getting a guy in from a kids entertainment company - he was INCREDIBLE then I was just left with party bags and food to source. I stressed myself out with the cake - but I could have bought one, I got thoroughly over ambitious and decided I was making it for her. Elsa looked like she had terrible acne, but she was recognisable and more importantly she tasted amazing! ( and the toadstool I made out of the cakes that went wrong was pretty decent - so yay!)

It’s a massive learning curve - but if you are able to, relax and try and enjoy it - it’s quite fun really!!

Sadly this is the norm. All parties I’ve done like this have cost in excess of £300 (I’m in the south) but you don’t have to do them. But I know kids want them.

Cheapest option would be to do it in the garden at your house if you have the space. I did it at home during lockdown, in the garden, had 10 kids and they loved it. Did some basic garden games, water fight, pass the parcel, piñata types and you can give some of the adults tasks too and do food according to your budget. 3 - 4 hours flew by!

£25 per head is pretty steep. I booked soft play which included laser tag, party room and food, adults free, birthday child free for £16 per person.

I've never found the soft play parties to be that great to be honest been to a few when dc were a bit younger but never had one ourselves. my dc have always had parties at home very traditional parties, hotdogs, jelly&ice cream traditional party games like pass the parcel, musical statues, pin the tail on the donkey etc they've always had great fun and a supermarket cake it's cost me very little. a few times I've hired a bouncy castle for the garden but not every time. made my own party bags from stuff from home bargains pound shop etc. no way I'd pay £25 per head. when is the party going ahead. xx

I had a soft play party with exclusive hire at our local small one, 12 quid per kid and nothing for adults! I think we paid nearly £200 in the end and i thought that was expensive. Your place is ludicrously expensive and I would cancel and find a hall, hire a bouncy castle, so much cheaper!

Cancel if you can, perfect time of year for a paddling pool in the garden or a watertight, a cheap water pistol each and your party gift is sorted too. Or even make them with washing up liquid bottles like people used to! Kids love that kind of thing. Hot dogs or pizza after. Sorted. We put too much pressure on ourselves and kids are super easy to please at that age.

Maybe a tent in the garden to put up, picnic rugs for the children to sit on (works even if it’s indoors) and ask adults to bring a fold up chair. Couple of bowls of popcorn, bowls of ice cream or cones with sprinkles and toppings they can add themselves, even better if outside to make the mess.

Bite the bullet and go ahead this year. What's done is done but going forward do it at home - we do.

Hire a bouncy castle or an entertainer, do a bbq/pizza party whatever your child likes and do a few party games. They go fucking mental for it.

This has been the first year DD (10) didn't want it at home and wanted to go swimming instead. She's taking four friends to a swimming place and back for pizza and a sleepover.

It's heinously expensive to rent soft plays. It used to be quite economic. You're not alone.

I stopped reading op when you mentioned exclusive hire........... thats exactly why its so expensive, plus £5 for attending adults. Why oh why did you opt for exclusive hire? Especially with so few attending. The playcentre obviously have to cover their costs, hence the £25 per child.
A place local to me charges £100 for 10 children. Or £12.50 for private hire.......... but thats with a minimum of 20 children (ie £250)
Goodness knows why you imagined your own children would attend for free!
Hoping it all works out well......... and a fantastic time had by all. Lesson learned!