Feeling sick at how much I’m spending on kids party

[Mum5432]

Can’t really talk to anyone in RL as they will think I’m really tight with money or stupid.

I’m having my first ever party for my son who is primary school age. I looked into lots of options like hiring a hall etc. but it was too much headache as I would have to source the food, entertainment etc. myself and I just don’t have time.

So I booked softplay as I don’t need to worry about anything they will provide everything. I worded the invite very carefully to explain the party will be for named child only and not siblings so that bit is sorted.

but I’m getting really worried about the spiralling costs as I didn’t factor in that my son and his younger siblings count in the list too so it’s £25 EACH just for birthday boy and his brothers and sisters! I’ve also had to invite cousins from both sides as we get invited every year. I’ve also let few close friends bring their younger children as they have no childcare so that’s another £25 for 4 siblings = £100!

I’m really worried as when I planned this with DH I budgeted 6-8 kids from school. Didn’t realise my kids would also have to pay. Plus I have to pay for the adult entry. How the hell do people afford this! The play centre is booked every weekend. There was a cancellation so I managed to grab a spot on DS actual birthday date. It’s ridiculous. Not sure what I’m looking for from this thread.

im glad you got the cost down but why invite everyone before youve priced up the cost

and of course they charge for your kids theyre going arent they

Without wanting to.sound like the President of the Old Fogies' Union, what became of having a few friends round for ordinary party food?

This year we went to soft play, didn’t book the party room, but they let us push some
tables together in the main area - we had 14 children, I bought eight portions of nuggets and chips and extra chips to make sure, copious jugs of squash, coffees for the parents who stayed and it all came in at less than 150. Ended up being so successful that a few parents have said they are going to do it like that rather than book the room as well - we had much nicer food than the party food and the place had no problem with me bringing in a cake to do candles as well!!

That’s an insane amount of money for soft play. I had my dd birthday this year in a soft play centre which was £11 per head for 2 hours with hot food!

Ask people to bring a camping chair or a blanket, picnic style

’Hi ‘Maria’, the centre told me they’ll charge 25 per sibling. I totally understand if you prefer not to join and we’ll make sure ‘Sam’ has a great time.

Don’t stress it op. Likely people didn’t realise.

Wow! That's so expensive. We had a soft play party a few weeks ago(Ireland)for ds, we had 25 kids and it cost €375.
£25 per child is outrageous. I paid €15 per child. No charge for adults accompanying, did the party bags myself as they wanted €3 each for them and I refused to pay that. I made the cake myself.

I'm not sure I understand?
Does exclusive hire not mean a one off price, regardless of how many children attend? I know there are actual limits for safety reasons, but £25 per extra child when you already have exclusive use doesn't make any sense.

I know that we are surrounded by coastline where I live. The last few days we've had 35 MPH wind and rain by the bucket load.😂😂😂

Honestly, put a bouncy castle in a garden or a hall and leave them to it.

Don't worry about chairs for a kids party, a few folding camping chairs for adults and rugs/tablecloths for the kids.

With regard to the camping chairs (as per my previous post) I'd just ask theadults that are staying to bring their own if they have one. Again even grown ups would be fine sat on rugs.

This. Go back to the parents and say you are extremely sorry but can’t cover siblings as there’s a fair number. You’ll see how quickly they manage to find some childcare…

I would book a cheaper soft play or see if you can get a bouncy castle or hire some soft play for your home and say child changed mind

This is exactly why I never did parties for my kids! They had a couple of friends over for tea and went to the cinema or bowling or something! I really did not want to pay for an entire class of children, who may or may not even like my child! They definitely didn’t suffer!! I don’t know why people put themselves through it.
As for putting up with siblings attending as well… words fail me! Why on Earth would you?
I know this will be an unpopular view, but what do you actually achieve by having a big party?

That's what my sister and brother in law did when they had a garden party for my niece's 3rd birthday. They never hired one though just bought one from Argos. The front had a small paddling pool in as well so they could cool off. Was ok for littleuns.

Her birthday present was a swing she had a slide and ball pool. It was forecast for rain so they were expecting to be inside.

people don’t care about where they sit, they will happily sit on whatever’s available. We have a cheap tressle table I picked up in Aldi that comes out for parties. I’ve also got half a dozen folding chairs I bought in an argos sale a few years ago that come out. The rest is what ever patio furniture we have, puffs and dining chairs and kids can sit on the floor, picnic style.

I have a large plastic container that I keep party stuff in, left over paper plates, napkins, reusable plastic plates, plastic wine coolers, decorations, serving bowls & plates, cups, wine glasses. Basically anytime I buy anything party related and it can be reused I save it. I regularly pick things up in the sales too, end of summer sales are great for stocking up on party ware. I’m still using things I bought 10 years ago, I’ve got birthday, Christmas, Easter, St Patrick’s & just plain themed stuff.

usually I lay food out on the dining table inside and call people to help themselves once done.

we don’t mix family and friend parties anymore, so much easier to do 2 separate.

You will be surprised how helpful other parents can be. Just need a few spare garden chairs or folding chairs for the adults. The kids don't sit down much anyway apart from eating.

Families around here invite 10-15 friends maximum if paying for soft play or any other package. No siblings other than the birthday child's siblings. I have not seen any cousins or parents friends' children. I assume they do a separate event at home or something. It gets reduced to 4-7 when they get to Junior school (KS2), as the circles are smaller anyway. You also have to confirm numbers when booking and pay a deposit, the remainder a week before the part, when you can also modify the numbers.

In your situation, I might cancel, book a hall, get an entertainer, and get some Costco sandwich trays or pre-order from M&S, Subway, Sainsbury's, etc. They do party food with one week notice and it would be much cheaper. Or do it yourself but it's a hell of a task, I did it one year and I spent all the party arranging food and cleaning afterwards, I missed all the networking with parents, which was the reason we had done it in a hall, as we were new to the area and wanted to meet other parents!

yabu for getting exclusive hire

yes, soft play is horrific, but at least it is cheap as chips normally....`adults are free and they can pay for their own siblings to attend hell

why did you get exclusive hire and expect you would get away with 6-8 kids only

places have to survive
and there are many cheap lternatives

Wow! £25 per child is expensive. And charging parents too! Around here it’s £10-15 max for soft play, food and party bag, plus return entry for birthday child at another time. Never heard of adults being charged. Usually we would invite children. Some parents would also bring siblings but just pay them in themselves. Invited kids would go to party room to eat and parents would stay with uniformed children in the cafe and some would buy them food and others not.

Just scrolled back and saw update. Glad you cut the price back and uninvited siblings.

on the other note. Community centres are usually good to hire if you’re doing the party yourself. My house wouldn’t fit more than half a dozen kids so haven’t really done home parties. We did hire a hall for very small cost and then an entertainer that didn’t cost the earth. Did own food and were able to have whole class plus siblings if needed. Parents could sit round the edge - never seemed to get to the drop and leave stage before stopping whole class parties. Seems to vary round here.

Lots of these soft play places have introduced beauty treatments after the play area, another money squeezing tactic where they apply some lip gloss and hair plait charging an extra 10 euro per DC for the pleasure.

If anything it reduces the customers, your not going to book if everyone else had the extra treatment and you cannot afford it.

Your little grabby guests will focus and the part their not getting if they had it at a pervious party.

I dont understand why you thought you wouldn't have to pay for your other kids, obviously they arent going to be let in for free, if you didn't want to pay for them leave them at home with another family member!Soft play has to make money somehow, I dont know how some of them survive.im presuming the £25 includes play, food, seperate area for bday party kids to eat etc, reasonable enough! If you had of hired a hall it may have been cheaper as you arent ruled to pay per head, done your own lunch boxes quite cheaply and arranged party games etc

That is really expensive, especially as you have exclusive use. When my children were small there was only one place that closed (usually late afternoon/early evening only) and that was something like £250 for first 20 children then about £5 a child there after. I know this was about 10 years ago but that is a hike. To be charged for adults too is really cheeky. Have you made it clear on an invite that only one adult per child - or they can leave their children with you?