Feeling sick at how much I’m spending on kids party

[Mum5432]

Can’t really talk to anyone in RL as they will think I’m really tight with money or stupid.

I’m having my first ever party for my son who is primary school age. I looked into lots of options like hiring a hall etc. but it was too much headache as I would have to source the food, entertainment etc. myself and I just don’t have time.

So I booked softplay as I don’t need to worry about anything they will provide everything. I worded the invite very carefully to explain the party will be for named child only and not siblings so that bit is sorted.

but I’m getting really worried about the spiralling costs as I didn’t factor in that my son and his younger siblings count in the list too so it’s £25 EACH just for birthday boy and his brothers and sisters! I’ve also had to invite cousins from both sides as we get invited every year. I’ve also let few close friends bring their younger children as they have no childcare so that’s another £25 for 4 siblings = £100!

I’m really worried as when I planned this with DH I budgeted 6-8 kids from school. Didn’t realise my kids would also have to pay. Plus I have to pay for the adult entry. How the hell do people afford this! The play centre is booked every weekend. There was a cancellation so I managed to grab a spot on DS actual birthday date. It’s ridiculous. Not sure what I’m looking for from this thread.

We hired a party bus. Cost about £200, they parked it on the road and the kids got an hour play. We did food and cake.
No mess, or stress and so much cheaper than other options.

Round here exclusive use is charged as a one off fee for the soft play part and then you would add a supplement per head for food. But no charge for spectators or siblings or anytime who came into the soft play.

when paying per head here for non exclusive use you would most certainly include any of your own children including the birthday child in the numbers you’ve booked and paid for. Not sure how you would think you didn’t pay for your own children.

soft play here has never been drop off. Always been adults stay to supervise for safety aspect, so anywhere charging spectators would be a big no for me.

That seems to be very expensive per child. Are they serving lobster and champagne 😂

Of course you can cancel
And you'll lose your deposit ?
But then you'll save $$$ by just hosting it in a park.
And dont invite cousins etc just cuz they invited him.
And kids from friends etc.
Just invite your kid's friends.

“Hi all thanks for replying about johns party. Just to share with you, bouncy tots have advised that siblings will be charged the entry fee of £7 or £25 Per head for full party package. This can be paid direct to me or them on the day. See you soon!”

I know this isn't going to help the OP (mind you, neither are dozens of posts agreeing that £25 per child is unheard of and that she should cancel ... ) but I've never really got the whole big splashy costly party. They have a blast just hanging out together and playing some games. You also do NOT have to invite the whole class, and many kids prefer to invite just a few friends, which obviously keeps costs down. A few suggestions for low-cost options:

-If you have a garden, then use it! Scavenger hunt (leaves, feathers, orange pebble, straightest twig etc), treasure hunt, making dens or camps.

-Go to the local park/playground. Enlist in a few parents, let the kids do park things! Ask the park authorities if you can bring a gazebo and if they allow serving food. Cool boxes with ice lollies will go down well.

-Go to the woods and make dens from branches etc.

-For older kids, rent or borrow 'laser tag' guns and let them loose. Or water pistols.

-if they like making things, get some cheap craft supplies and have them do something like decorating a bag that they get to take home, making necklaces or key rings, even those 'paint your own pottery' party kits you get from the paint-your-own shops are cheaper than soft play.

-Take a small group to a fun local museum if there's one, treat them to lunch in the cafe (normally will have kids meal options. It's still going to be ££s cheaper than the overpriced shite they serve up at soft play). Most museums now have great stuff on offer for kids and this is not a 'boring' option.

I'm perhaps lucky as my son never wanted a whole-class party (we did this just the once, hiring the village hall and a local and well-loved children's music entertainer. It was ... an experience, and this was a pretty laid-back event. DS didn't feel at all well on the day so remembers NOTHING! ). We've always just asked a handful of friends. When he was younger we'd do a craft-based thing along the lines of shared interest (Star Wars craft mostly - make a lightsaber or utility belt parties - not at all hard and loads online to help). A bit older and we'd go to local woods, fry up some sausages and they'd play capture the flag type games. Or go to the local laser tag and not book the party option, just book into the 'play for all' session, do a couple of games, and bring them back to the house for pizza and maybe a DVD.

Kids' parties don't have to be mega-expensive and I think if people dialled it down a bit, then expectations of a massive Event would drop to realistic proportions.

I always went for the paid for organised parties for a few reasons.

• DS is an only so we can afford it
• My work is quite full on and don't have the time to arrange a party
• I'm not a creative person or especially good at corralling young DCs. I would have found it really stressful to organise a DIY party
• the DCs seemed to enjoy it, although DS favourite party ever was one at a neighbors sons house

Once your DC are at primary school you really don't need to ask anyone except her school friends, you can always have a tea party and birthday cake with your relatives separately.
If you don't want to take your younger DC perhaps someone could take then for a few hours?

For anyone with kids from 6+ who is looking for slightly more creative ideas for a party, check out your local climbing/bouldering centre.

Soft mats surround climbing walls. Much much better than the clip and climb rubbish. If there are enough the wall will take the kids through a few exercise routines, teach them some climbing techniques and let them have a great time.

Added bonus is one or two might get the bug for it.

Price wise entry for kids to a wall is usually between £5-7.

Usually soft play parties adults are included in child’s price

never pay for siblings of invited

obv would have to pay fir your own ds and children

but yes parties can be costly

next year hire a hall usually £12/25ph so 3hrs

bouncy castle £120

pizza nuggets sarnies crisps

Chalk it up to an expensive experience. It’s done now so no point in worrying and getting yourself all worked up.Chill with the adults that stay and have a glass of wine/ cup of coffee while your children have a ball under the close supervision of others. My 3 each had a 5yr birthday party and a 21st( the 3rd chose the money instead). £25 is outrageous tbh but you mentioned an entertainer so you may get your moneys worth.

Glad you’ve got the costs down. You have to stop inviting cousins and your friends kids (unless your DC has a good relationship with them). Bday parties at home are always more tiring for you as you’ll have to provide the entertainment or pay to hire a bouncy castle or entertainment, plus all the clearing up, so I wouldn’t rule out parties organised at a venue or something low key like a picnic at the party near a kids play area. You can do some face-painting too and that would be super cheap. Cinema parties where they have a cheap kids film on (usually in the morning) followed by lunch somewhere usually work out ok too.

£25 per child and £5 per adult is absolutely scandalous 🤯 is that the only soft play close to you? It may be worth looking around to see if there are any cheaper options. Every party we have been to this (school) year have been at soft play centres, there are several local to us but the most popular with my daughters school friends is £150 for upto 30 children and £7.50 any extra children

Cancel it and tell people you’ve realised it’s not di able due to having to pay for younger siblings etc.
Lots of people are in a tough spot at the moment so don’t feel embarrassed.
Maybe invite closest friends for a sleepover with pizza and movies / games. X

Then don't spend so much! Myself I definitely blame the parents.

So firstly, £25 does sound pricy but you might be in a more expensive area. I've looked locally for my daughter's party & they range from £13-£16 per child with optional add ons.

Secondly, when we did a soft play party in the past, I didn't know what to do about friends that needed to have siblings come along too - a couple of the mum's said it was the norm for the parents of the siblings to just pay at the door for them - so they weren't included in party games or food (but they were older siblings) & the parents would just pay the £6 door fee rather than the party price.

It is kinda sickening, we've gone for a bouncy castle in the garden this year, but just the castle is costing £120 so we can have it Sunday too - in order to invite school friends, my family & husband's family all separately because I can't stand the thought of having that many people at my house at once in case it rains & we won't fit!

Word to the wise. As the mum of a 25 year old, 23 year old and 18 year old - just keep it simple! Ours were allowed one 'all the class' party in the local leisure centre when they were 5/6. Guess what, none of them remembers it!!

Why do people no longer hold children's parties at home?

What's wrong with having half a dozen friends round for an hour or two, playing a few party games, having a light tea (sandwiches, jelly etc), singing happy birthday and then each child gets a balloon and a slice of cake to take home?

Don’t do a home party next year, you’ll worry about bad weather, you’ll need to borrow furniture etc etc. Book a hall, and then do whatever you were going to do at home. A hall will have furniture.

Our most successful parties were in a hall, with an entertainer. Sandwiches made by me that morning, crisps, biscuits, cocktails sausages, biscuits etc delivered the day before. The cost is pretty much the same whether you invite ten kids or 30.

I'm an 80s child. My parents held one party at home, decided they couldn't cope with the mess and the out of control kids and after that hired space else where for parties. And that was in a large house!

In my current house and previous one we wouldn't have had the space to hold a children's party. We went to one in someone's house last summer which only worked because it was a hot day and we could be out in the garden. Modern houses tend to be tiny.

This is extortionate costing, I've booked soft play for my little boy's birthday and it's £195 private hire for 15 children, that includes an hour and a half soft play (with the centre to ourselves) and food for all the children, as well as tea and coffee for the parents and party bags for the children. Any extra children are £10 each. It might be worth querying with the soft play centre why it costs so much? I can't see what they'd be offering outside of food and play that would bump the cost up so high. Could they offer you an instalment pay plan to spread the cost a bit?

I'm an 80s child and distinctly remember having parties in halls, I only had a couple of parties at home. My family were far from rich. Most houses were too small then, modern new builds are certainly too small now, in general.
The stress and mess of at home parties also isn't worth it imo.

We have a small house, and for us, having 5 or 6 children in here wouldn't work. I'm also lazy and can't be bothered to clean up the whirlwind of mess several 4 and 5 year olds would make 🤣 But you're right - parties have changed massively since I was young. Now it's all balloon arches and majestic 5 tier cakes and themed exhibitions - and for what? Instagram photos? My little boy LOVES soft play which is why he's getting that. But he'll not have anything else outside a few gifts and his normal sized cake 🤷🏻‍♀️

Tell people to a picnic in the garden next year - put blankets out.
tell adults it’s picnic blankets and they may want to bring a folding chair.

pizza and some salad sticks in paper cups! Doesn’t need “whole spread” & just buy cheap frozen pizzas most of it will get stood on as kids will just be wanting to run round the garden anyway!

My children have always had parties in halls or at home …. & I’m regularly told they are the best parties by their friends and their parents! (Which honestly feels a bit embarrassing, I’m not bragging)
put a bit of effort in and everyone appreciates it (especially when they don’t!)
the stress you’ve had with this one you could have spent the time and money planning something fun!