Page 7 | What advice would you give your mid 40s self?

RetrainRetrain · 2022-07-04T20:17:22+00:00

Following on from the mid-20s thread, I wonder advice people would give their mid-40s self?

CountryMouse22 · 06/07/2022 19:23

Don't waste time on bad boyfriends, especially if they drink.

venus7 · 06/07/2022 19:34

seaUrchinOne · 04/07/2022 21:48

Don't regret your failed relationships, dont feel guilty about splurging on that designer handbag. If you've still got it, flirt and take sexual opportunities and have fun before your all dried up like a bag of bones.

Um..........we don't all dry up like a bag of bones......

Youngasyoufeel · 06/07/2022 19:36

Wear what you feel comfortable and sexy in.
Wear those trainers
Stop overthinking
Embrace the grays but get a good cut & style

maddiemookins16mum · 06/07/2022 19:37

You don’t need to stay in that job, you can do anything. Start losing the weight now as it’s even harder 13 years later. Pay more into your pension. Don’t get so grumpy with your Mum, she’s a bit needy but you are gonna miss her like crazy in five years.

Sunny123456 · 06/07/2022 19:39

Yes, get the implants!

Whatsthisallaboutconfused · 06/07/2022 19:40

justabigdisco · 04/07/2022 22:11

@BuddhaAtSea I once went to a talk by an ophthalmic surgeon who said exactly that - I quote “there’s a reason all ophthalmologists wear glasses”

What is the reason? Genuine question. I’ve considered laser surgery but not followed through…

marktayloruk · 06/07/2022 19:49

Don't a)be a prat b)listen to Irish con artists c)ask that ...out!

Boxowine · 06/07/2022 19:56

Believe people when they show you who they are.

lilstarr99 · 06/07/2022 19:57

Pixilicious1 · 04/07/2022 21:39

Look after the skin on your neck as well as your face
Get aware of peri-menopause symptoms and get HRT when you think you might be going mad

Both of these are what I came to say!!

Look up peri-menopause when you turn 40 and don’t take no for an answer from the GP. So many benefits for taking HRT as soon as symptoms start - also it’s not just hot flashes, there are SO many symptoms!

Crapolony · 06/07/2022 20:09

Pluvia · 04/07/2022 21:42

It's not too late to retrain. At 43 I inherited a sum of money which could have enabled me to retrain for a profession that I would have enjoyed and I think been good at. But I felt as if I was too old to change tracks and used the money to pay down my mortgage instead. With hindsight, I can see I that by the age of 50 I would have been earning about twice as much, with potential for a lucrative private practice in the lead-up to retirement.

Oh, and if you don't do it already, start yoga. In your 60s you'll be so pleased you did.

Can I be very nosy and ask what you would have retrained as?

Magnificentbeast · 06/07/2022 20:14

Use a high SPF cream every day.
Do yoga or some kind of stretching and strengthening exercises regularly.

VWCJW · 06/07/2022 20:22

Don't eat donuts!

maccaroni · 06/07/2022 20:31

Don't bother spending the next 5 years trying to save your marriage, he isn't trying so its a waste of your life! Divorce while the kids are all under 18 and are actually counted in any sort of settlement!

LovelyLisa2 · 06/07/2022 20:32

Put yourself first. Do whatever you fancy!

Strangeways19 · 06/07/2022 20:44

Leave the job. Be brave something better will happen when you do

KissThaRain · 06/07/2022 21:59

Don’t get friendly with that work colleague you meet at 44 because they will be piss off 300 miles away when your 49 and it will kill you both to say Goodbye

OMG13 · 06/07/2022 23:03

Retrain now if you aren’t enjoying what you’re doing now. It’s a good age to start again. I didn’t and I regret it. 40 years in the law was 39 too many for me!

Theonlyones · 06/07/2022 23:28

Some great advice above! But I wonder if my 40 year old self would have listened or understood? Anyway ( I know some of these are repeated from above )

Spend time with your parents, it’s not forever
look after your loving partner, do things for them, it’s not forever
if possible steer the kids towards meaningful careers (trades, science and as far away as possible from the arts! It’s great, but not a living and they’ll waste their years and feel like a failure)
keep on top of your physical health. Insist on follow up if you think something is wrong. Never ignore warnings
ditch your bad friends and toxic relationships, and never look back, it’s the right thing to do
live sustainability
have lots of sex if you want. Do it all! It’s not forever :)

Indigoo03 · 07/07/2022 02:20

Pluvia · 04/07/2022 21:42

It's not too late to retrain. At 43 I inherited a sum of money which could have enabled me to retrain for a profession that I would have enjoyed and I think been good at. But I felt as if I was too old to change tracks and used the money to pay down my mortgage instead. With hindsight, I can see I that by the age of 50 I would have been earning about twice as much, with potential for a lucrative private practice in the lead-up to retirement.

Oh, and if you don't do it already, start yoga. In your 60s you'll be so pleased you did.

What profession was this?

Eviebeans · 07/07/2022 06:08

That it's never too late to make a new start
(did it at the age of 38) divorce, moved house, started back to work after more than 20 years

but when you do this go for what you really want...

Stace99 · 07/07/2022 07:04

This is me! I haven’t a clue where they came from. I’m only 38 absolutely hate them. 😫

NumeroZero · 07/07/2022 07:32

Place marking for tips!

celticprincess · 07/07/2022 07:57

Cameleongirl · 04/07/2022 21:29

I’m 48 so right in the thick of it. Be prepared for being the “sandwich generation,” I.e. both teenagers and elderly parents needing you. It seems to have suddenly happened to me and my friends. Five years ago, our parents were managing well, all of a sudden, they’re not.

It’s bloomin’ exhausting! Oh, and think about your pre-retirement/retirement years when you’ve got the energy. 🤣

Yes. Mid 40s here. Single parent. Child with additional needs. And now a parent with possible dementia. It’s exhausting being pulled all directions. No one warns you about the sandwich thing. I guess it depends what age you have your children at and what age your parents were when they had you. I had my kids into my 30s so they’re still going. Parents were turning 60 and retiring when my kids were born. But lots on the school playground in their early 20s who’s parents all still work as only late 40s and 50s.

RachaelN · 07/07/2022 08:30

Have the nap. Kiss your lover passionately. Get a dog or two 😁

33goingon64 · 07/07/2022 09:53

This is a great thread. I am mid 40s and really feel this is a turning point in many ways. I have reluctantly started running in recent years, I do yoga weekly, have upped day cream to factor 30, and delight in saying no to anything that I am not duty bound to do or interested in. As things stand I won't have parents to look after. Career wise I'm doing what I enjoy and don't seek to climb any ladders.

My challenges will be helping the DC navigate becoming teens and young adults, my lack of pension (though my inheritance should allow me to sort that out to an extent), menopause (which I feel may be starting), an ongoing 'quality of life' health issue, and my marriage - which I am firmly sticking with as there are more ups than downs, but I need to develop strategies to help negotiate the downs.