What advice would you give your mid 40s self?

[RetrainRetrain]

Following on from the mid-20s thread, I wonder advice people would give their mid-40s self?

Pay attention to Bill Gates' warnings and mutterings about a pandemic. It would have saved you so much money and pain.

Dump the fuckwit!

I’m 49 and right there, so totally understand . I have a 16 year old who had years of school anxiety. A 14 year old dd with all the normal teenage angst and worries and elderly parents, one of whom has Alzheimer’s. I am currently at everyone’s beck and call and I am most definitely a very exhausted, worn out, over stretched sandwich filling right now!

How? I knew - as did most of us? - we were overdue a pandemic but I don't see how that should have saved me money!

If the government had not recklessly and knowingly cut the UK's pandemic preparedness our costs would have been far lower nationally. We would not have fucked our economy as much etc.

Don't sell the campervan because the teens no longer want to come with you. In a couple of years they will be gone and you and DH will be looking for another.
Don't let work stress you out, it's seriously not worth it, find another job where people appreciate you.
Keep up with your own hobbies, dont lose sight of yourself pandering to others needs.

Mindfulness meditation. A recent study found that frequent meditators had brains which looked 20 years younger.

Do not get married at all 😏

Have the tummy tuck, it'll be awesome.

Fuck the team and the job you thought were for life; there's something much better waiting for you.

Find hobbies; you're a wee bit lost right now as the kids are getting older and more independent.

I would have made different job and DC different university choices, had I taken him more seriously. But I was too busy worrying about climate change ( which I am still worrying about).

Build your strength now as it'll get harder soon

I'm a few years away from 40 but loving these little snippets. I've learned the sunscreen thing this year. Skin is already looking so much better! X

@BuddhaAtSea I once went to a talk by an ophthalmic surgeon who said exactly that - I quote “there’s a reason all ophthalmologists wear glasses”

I totally relate to being sandwiched between elderly, needy parents and teenagers. That on top of working full time - it is exhausting.
my advice - find a hobby you love that will give you a bit of time out and also keep you healthy. Keep hold of your friends - help them out when they need it - you never know when that favour is needed and reciprocated back to you. My friends have been a god send to me over the years and I hope I have to them too. If you can, weekends away with friends even if it’s just once a year - laughter with friends is the best medicine. Look after your mental health in whatever way you need to - sometimes it’s ok to be selfish.
I suppose pensions and over paying on mortgage is also sensible advice …..

Reading with interest! 🙏

Lobelia I am pessimist so things have been okay in that way

a word for those with oldies
don't do too much

dad died a few years ago, but I'm still battling on with mum. The more you do, the more is expected and there is no guarantee when it will end. I was really upset the first time someone said that to me. It is hard to hear but sadly so true.

FGS Chill the fuck out.

Stay single as was happy single and then met old pal who lovebombed me and turned out to be the biggest emotional bully ever met and narcissist, affected me for years.

I have, he did mine !

Never met an ophthalmic surgeon who’s had their eyes lasered

Dr Gartry at Moorfields. Highly recommend.

I like ‘read the directions, even if you don’t follow them’ and the bit about your choices being half chance and advice, but I cba to type it. (I graduated in 99)

To myself at all ages, deal with the NOW. The future you are planning for will be different when you get there. Just make it work for you, now.

Let people be wrong. Just let them think their thoughts, and do your thing anyway. don’t spend so much effort trying to convince people.

There’s something in that low carb fad, dear - pay attention.

And to my thirties self ‘pay DHs life insurance yourself’. After all, it’s for you. (He cancelled it, and then died three years later. I was paying mine, and assumed he was paying his. While I wasn’t left with nothing, bloody hell that insurance would have made a difference)

I'm 49 so it's only a few years ago ... Spend more time with your dad and your best mate while you can ☹️, stop putting off seeing a doctor about your horrendous periods and for god's sake stick to your diet!

Love this thread - thanks for starting it @RetrainRetrain (not quite 46 year, but not far off).

On the issue of a career change - I did it about 8 years ago, from a very secure and well paid career, and don't regret it at all. Very pleased I took the leap and if I need to do it again, I will do.

Get out of that relationship now. Dont wait another couple of years.

Stop The glorification of busy