What advice would you give your mid 40s self?

[RetrainRetrain]

Following on from the mid-20s thread, I wonder advice people would give their mid-40s self?

Don't waste your life sticking with a job you hate

Always call out 'casual' sexism and misogyny.

Stop worrying about your age. You don't know it yet, but the good thing about being late-40s/early 50s is you stop giving a crap about what people think and are free to be yourself. Trust me, you will find it incredibly liberating....

You are the sandwich generation. Ffs share the load better!

Your lovely sensible, funny, supportive husband is going to walk out without a backward glance. Mid life runaways are more common than you realise. Keep doing what you are doing getting a second career, life giving hobby and keeping up with friends. You are going to need it.

Don't sell your house to move in with him, LTB!

I’ve been living this since I was a teenager but I appreciate others won’t. I have very young children and it’s hard
My advice on elderly/ill parents

• encourage them to look as assisted living before they need it


• get them used to some outside help cleaner/gardener


• get paperwork sorted so you can look after them/their finances


• living will


• create boundaries and stick to them


• make sure they have a hospital grab bag always packed

Put money in your pension.

Take decisions - I’ve seen friends spend their whole 40s dithering on decisions such as whether to move and now in their 50s their mental health is battered from all that indecision.

Leave him - if you know deep down it’s not working. Don’t stay because you love your house, because you’re scared of being alone, because of the kids….

Get into fitness in any way you can. Turning 50 feeling fit takes the edge off!

Realise you are an awesome, fully grown adult! Enjoy your 40s

Pretty sure rapid weight gain and loss in pregnancy caused mine. Also appeared overnight 😢

Embrace and learn to love the turkey 🦃 it ain’t going anywhere sadly! The good news is that it won’t stand out very much longer when your face catches up with it!! 😂😂

Micro needling is your friend. Face neck hands knees. Sunscreen. Yoga and meditation. Quit drinking. Listen to your gut on friends and relationships you are always right. Cut out toxic people from your life now. Spend time in nature. Take suppliments. Wear comfortable clothes. Change your hair colour. You are beautiful raise up that face and look people in the eye with a smile. It's the age where cool and hot doesn't matter so much as great energy and kindness. Enjoy

It’s at this point in my life (48) it really is the moment when I am truly and deeply delighted not to be a celebrity, and I won’t have my natural but steady decline/copious cellulite/extra pounds/new muffin pecked over as it plays out in the full glare of publicity! How do they cope without moving wholesale to the outer Hebrides or going through the expensive indignity of cosmetic refinement inch by painful inch??

I can enjoy and revel in not giving two shits about any of it in glorious, glorious obscurity - hallelujah

Weight gain will fuck up your knees.

And your hips

I love this thread!

One pattern I see is that we are so bad at making small positive changes (lots of references to wine, diet, fitness, skincare etc). This is exactly the kind of thing I always think I want to do but somehow don't muster the momentum to bloody well get on with it today.

Leave my partner immediately
Believe in myself
Move home

Love this thread.

@Mylifeinpart do you micro needle at home or in the salon?

I do it at home once a month with a pen from Dr Pen

Good advice, @Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas

In my case I’d add that if your elderly parents were prone to making a big fuss and drama about things when they were younger, recognize that they’ll be even worse now they’re older. 🤣

We’re looking at assisted living for my Dad right now and although it was his idea and he’s keen to move, he’s turning the process into a Shakespearean melodrama, as usual. It’s very draining!

Lots of reference to knees here. I know I need to look after mine as they are already a bit dodgy. But how do I look after them???

Do you remember those exercises the doctor told you to do? Make sure you do them.

Lose weight and strengthen overall body muscle to support the joints - stay fit but don’t whatever you do run on pavements ever - my surgeon cringes every time he passes a runner on concrete and silently notes that they will be his next patients.

Also think carefully about skiing can you really afford a broken leg that won’t heal at this point in your life -

I'm 46 and I'm feeling quite smug reading this. Which is unusual.

I've not long started looking after my face better and already see a difference.
I don't need to lose weight, but I do need to improve my cardio fitness so that and yoga are on the list. I can feel my body aging, and becoming less able more achey. I will not be beaten.

I've actively started seeing my Mum more regularly and spending quality time together.

I did a pension review last year and am with a great advisor planning for an early retirement if I can.

I got sober nearly 3 years so, so I've never been happier in my own skin and life, and given less of fuck what people think of me, which leads to pretty nice contentment.

I will look at microneedling.

And for anyone in their 20's, the scariest thing about mid 40's is the realisation that the person is the mirror isn't in their 20's anymore even though you feel no different for the main part.

Absolutely brilliant advice from @Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas on managing elderly parents. I agree with all of it.

Most definitely don’t get married again, you’ll be regretting it forever. Sadly.

The unbearable and overwhelming crush you're going to develop is likely some sort of perimenopausal midlife crisis manifesting itself, and your husband is really still quite lovely...