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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that the reporting of the deaths of people in the public eye is disgusting

191 replies

beautyisthefaceisee · 04/07/2022 15:29

MN HQ, feel free to move this elsewhere if you think more appropriate.

Not long off the back of the Caroline Flack circus (And let's not get into that again, I am referring directly to their reporting in regards to a dead woman) we have this morning the news that sadly Jake McLean, who isn't actually a celebrity in himself, but the ex boyfriend of two, has died following a car crash. HIs girlfriend, Yasmin Oukhello who appears in TOWIE, is in intensive care.

The articles this morning talk at great length about Jake's 3 years in prison 10 years ago, his ex girlfriend Lauren Goodger using her interviews from 2013, Yasmin's ex boyfriend and his love life.

Why? Just why? Jake has a family. He presumably has parents, or siblings, friends, people who love him. It is unlikely that Yasmin even knows he is dead yet.

Why does it become acceptable to report in this manner when it's someone (barely) in the public eye? Do we stand up at funerals and say "He was in prison and he went out with Sarah in 2012". No, of course we don't.

All the papers are doing are opening the floodgates for the standard comments of "who", "he's not a celebrity", "he's a criminal so good", "talentless Z lister", etc etc etc.

But he is ultimately a man who has died and his family and friends have to read this shit. I honestly think it's disgusting. Its all over the internet and in every shop I've been in this morning, so god knows how his poor mother feels.

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SavoirFlair · 04/07/2022 15:38

Those actions which took place are part of the notoriety for which he was known for.

he lived a life that was self-consciously on public record and he most likely made money from his positioning of his life that way.

So I’m sorry but YABU - obituaries aren’t hagiography, you can’t pick and choose what’s good if much of your life was spent in criminality, or publicly dating people in pursuit of fame

beautyisthefaceisee · 04/07/2022 15:42

SavoirFlair · 04/07/2022 15:38

Those actions which took place are part of the notoriety for which he was known for.

he lived a life that was self-consciously on public record and he most likely made money from his positioning of his life that way.

So I’m sorry but YABU - obituaries aren’t hagiography, you can’t pick and choose what’s good if much of your life was spent in criminality, or publicly dating people in pursuit of fame

Did you read my post?

Jake is the ex boyfriend of a celebrity tbe fact he hit the public eye when he went to prison was because Lauren goodger talked about him. He isn't a celebrity so no he didnt make money that way. And how do you know he dated her in pursuit of fame?! Essex is a small place and they all date each other.

I honestly canf get my head round how you think that a young man who lost his life in s tragic manner deserves that reporting because hes a celebrity.

If he was a bus driver or a shop worker who had been to prison, it would not be mentioned in his obituary or his funeral. He dkdnt sign up to that by dating someone (barely) in the public eye.

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SavoirFlair · 04/07/2022 15:50

He's not just the ex-boyfriend of one celebrity. He dated two TOWIE participants and a Hollyoaks actor. I'd say this self consciously puts him into the public eye.

He isn't a celebrity

Define celebrity in 2022.

If he was a bus driver...who had been to prison, it would not be mentioned in his obituary

He wouldn't necessarily have a public obituary in the newspaper unless someone contacted the newspaper and paid for it - which then allows for reverence and hagiography no matter what the public or criminal record states.

For others who have had repeated column inches written about them, it's up to the news outlet to report what is a matter of public record.

Let's say I was a person you knew, who happened to collaborate with a handful of men with masks and pistols and barged into your mother's house? Perhaps you would be less concerned about the reporting of my life.

Feelingsillyandgiddy · 04/07/2022 15:52

You’ve just done the same by sharing the information?

beautyisthefaceisee · 04/07/2022 15:57

SavoirFlair · 04/07/2022 15:50

He's not just the ex-boyfriend of one celebrity. He dated two TOWIE participants and a Hollyoaks actor. I'd say this self consciously puts him into the public eye.

He isn't a celebrity

Define celebrity in 2022.

If he was a bus driver...who had been to prison, it would not be mentioned in his obituary

He wouldn't necessarily have a public obituary in the newspaper unless someone contacted the newspaper and paid for it - which then allows for reverence and hagiography no matter what the public or criminal record states.

For others who have had repeated column inches written about them, it's up to the news outlet to report what is a matter of public record.

Let's say I was a person you knew, who happened to collaborate with a handful of men with masks and pistols and barged into your mother's house? Perhaps you would be less concerned about the reporting of my life.

I don't object to them reporting about the crime that he committed (in 2009). But I think reporting on man's death and then focusing extensively on his love and life and the love life of his ex girlfriend (James Locke got a lengthy mention, and he's the ex boyfriend of his ex girlfriend!)

It's wrong.

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beautyisthefaceisee · 04/07/2022 15:57

Feelingsillyandgiddy · 04/07/2022 15:52

You’ve just done the same by sharing the information?

It's in every paper and on every social media platform today. Hardly breaking news. Strange comment.

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ColadhSamh · 04/07/2022 15:59

I hadn't heard of him or his girlfriend until you posted it here.

beautyisthefaceisee · 04/07/2022 16:00

ColadhSamh · 04/07/2022 15:59

I hadn't heard of him or his girlfriend until you posted it here.

I'm assuming you haven't been in a corner shop or on any of the main newspaper websites today, then.

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SavoirFlair · 04/07/2022 16:01

I think @Feelingsillyandgiddy is making the fair point that you’re amplifying it by discussing it

but let me ask you @beautyisthefaceisee do you think there should be the media equivalent of a “statute of limitations” in reporting?

I mean, if someone who was involved in the Khmer Rouge or former Yugoslavia atrocities dies, do we not report on their actions because it was decades ago?

5foot5 · 04/07/2022 16:03

beautyisthefaceisee · 04/07/2022 15:57

It's in every paper and on every social media platform today. Hardly breaking news. Strange comment.

Not that strange a comment. I thought exactly the same.

This thread is the first I have ever heard of the man, so yeah, you have spread information about all these aspects of his life to me at least

coffeecupsandfairylights · 04/07/2022 16:03

But I think reporting on man's death and then focusing extensively on his love and life and the love life of his ex girlfriend (James Locke got a lengthy mention, and he's the ex boyfriend of his ex girlfriend!)

It's wrong.

He chose to put himself in the public eye by dating (multiple) people who were already "famous". If you choose to date celebrities then it's hardly surprising that your private life will be splashed across the tabloids - both when you're alive and in the event of your death.

Feelingsillyandgiddy · 04/07/2022 16:04

I’d never heard of them until this post so you’ve definitely spread it much wider

beautyisthefaceisee · 04/07/2022 16:04

SavoirFlair · 04/07/2022 16:01

I think @Feelingsillyandgiddy is making the fair point that you’re amplifying it by discussing it

but let me ask you @beautyisthefaceisee do you think there should be the media equivalent of a “statute of limitations” in reporting?

I mean, if someone who was involved in the Khmer Rouge or former Yugoslavia atrocities dies, do we not report on their actions because it was decades ago?

Well, yes, on a discussion forum. I'm not sure why I'm in the wrong here.

No, but that's very different.

www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-10980101/Jake-McLeans-overturned-car-pictured-Turkey-Lauren-Goodger-seen-time-died.html

This is the latest one. Speculation about alcohol (despite the fact they blood test all drivers), photos of Yasmin's ex boyfriend, lots of chat about Jake's ex girlfriend Lauren and the fact she's pregnant - I thinkt his one left out his years in jail, I stopped reading.

Necessary?

that is VERY different to talking about someone who committed atrocities.

An article reporting on the accident, the fact that he was in jail if need be (although I'm still not sold that that is necessary) and an update on Yasmin would be sufficient. There is a photo of the overturned car FFS. Someone's sadly deceased son is in there, 3 years in jail 10 years ago or not.

They're vultures. The fact you can find their name on google doesn't change that.

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beautyisthefaceisee · 04/07/2022 16:05

coffeecupsandfairylights · 04/07/2022 16:03

But I think reporting on man's death and then focusing extensively on his love and life and the love life of his ex girlfriend (James Locke got a lengthy mention, and he's the ex boyfriend of his ex girlfriend!)

It's wrong.

He chose to put himself in the public eye by dating (multiple) people who were already "famous". If you choose to date celebrities then it's hardly surprising that your private life will be splashed across the tabloids - both when you're alive and in the event of your death.

Doesn't make it right

I'm ignoring the comments about me spreading it - is eveyrone feeling particularly vicious today?

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trailrunner85 · 04/07/2022 16:05

I'm assuming you haven't been in a corner shop or on any of the main newspaper websites today

I've been on several newspaper websites today but this is the first I've heard of the story you're talking about. I'm very sorry this guy (whoever he is) has died but, as a pp says, you are adding to the noise you claim to dislike so much.

The tabloids are covering this story because they cover celebrity news. If you don't follow celebrity news it's extremely easy to avoid it. It's certainly not "all over the Internet" unless you're deliberately searching for this sort of stuff, or going on Mail Online etc.

Samcro · 04/07/2022 16:05

just googled why he was in prison....
at least it sounds truthful, normally people are sainted when they die.

beautyisthefaceisee · 04/07/2022 16:07

trailrunner85 · 04/07/2022 16:05

I'm assuming you haven't been in a corner shop or on any of the main newspaper websites today

I've been on several newspaper websites today but this is the first I've heard of the story you're talking about. I'm very sorry this guy (whoever he is) has died but, as a pp says, you are adding to the noise you claim to dislike so much.

The tabloids are covering this story because they cover celebrity news. If you don't follow celebrity news it's extremely easy to avoid it. It's certainly not "all over the Internet" unless you're deliberately searching for this sort of stuff, or going on Mail Online etc.

"claim to dislike"

Sorry, are you claiming I LIKE it?! I LIKE the fact someone's dead? Very odd.

Re your second post - I scrolled Tiktok, facebook and my daily headlines come up on my phone. It came up on all 3 beore 9am this morning when I was on my way to work.

You couldn't pay me to go on mail online. The article I posted was on Facebook.

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tigger1001 · 04/07/2022 16:08

ColadhSamh · 04/07/2022 15:59

I hadn't heard of him or his girlfriend until you posted it here.

Me neither.

beautyisthefaceisee · 04/07/2022 16:09

Samcro · 04/07/2022 16:05

just googled why he was in prison....
at least it sounds truthful, normally people are sainted when they die.

They're not. People just have basic respect.

Something which is lacking in society and indeed on MN it would appear. It's OK for journos to be absolute vultures and if you speak about it you're "adding" to the problem!

And this is a site that is supposed to encourage women to speak out about things that oppress them - the same websites that slate women for their appearance, make up stories about woman and push them to awful lengths, write the most disgusting, misogynistic things, but it's their fault cause they're in the public eye and our fault for talking about it!

Could you imagine I jumped on the feminist boards and told them they were "adding to the noise?"

The fact we see celebrity life as fair game has literally highlighted my point.

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Wouldloveanother · 04/07/2022 16:10

Because they chose to make money through fame and therefore public interest in their lives. I’m not judging that, but naturally it will carry through if they die.

Samcro · 04/07/2022 16:11

how does it oppress women?
thats confused me.

Seeline · 04/07/2022 16:12

Well you are spreading it whether you think you are or not!

I've not heard of any of the people you refer to, so I wouldn't click on a link with his name as it wouldn't mean anything. Now you've brought it to my attention.

KrisAkabusi · 04/07/2022 16:12

Why are you so outraged about this particular person's death reports? Somebody famous dies pretty much every day, and yes, their entire lives are laid out. Because they are famous. Why are you so upset today over any other? Did you know him or his family?

drpet49 · 04/07/2022 16:12

Celebrity? Haha yeah right

beautyisthefaceisee · 04/07/2022 16:12

Wouldloveanother · 04/07/2022 16:10

Because they chose to make money through fame and therefore public interest in their lives. I’m not judging that, but naturally it will carry through if they die.

That I get (and thanks for being less spiteful than some others).

But I don't understand why everyone else's name needs dragged in too.

When Mike Thalissitis killed himself, Megan Mckenna was photographed for months, and followed around. Why? Because she was on a couple of TV shows and dated the guy? Does that make it hurt less?

and before anyone claims I spend my life reading this stuff, I studied Sociology and celebrity culture and the way we treat celebrities is something I'm quite interested in, and I genuinely find it dreadful. I cna't get my head round the "oh well" philosophy.

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