"He eats meat, but can't eat any processed meat."

[Flangelica]

If someone said this to you when you asked about dietary requirements for a child, would you think they were massively w*nky/snobby, or is it socially acceptable and fine?

Wait, so now they have to actively make it known that they're happy with a simple meat free meal?

Surely a simple meat free meal is the default when feeding children anyway? Pizza, pasta, sandwiches, hummus and pitta etc. Meat is unnecessary in the first place, and more expensive than the alternatives.

Surely a simple meat free meal is the default when feeding children anyway?

You'd think, yes.

But when the one food that the OP mentions that her child will eat is 'fresh meat' then yes she should clarify this isn't an expectation.

I think, when you dig under the surface, they were just saying what lots of PPs were thinking. People who sneer at other people's health/lifestyle choices usually do so because they are afraid that their own choices are being silently criticised or judged as inferior.

It's a defence mechanism - call the person who doesn't want to eat ham/drink alcohol etc. a wanky snob, and it stops you having to think about your own choices too much.

Seriously!
You are overthinking this massively and projecting your insecurities.

If someone told me that they didn't eat processed meat I would just take it at face value and not give it a second thought.

I think you need to get over yourself.

Except a family that doesn't eat processed meat is almost certainly not going to be eating meat at every meal.

If a parent said "Jimmy will eat bread, but not granary", would you assume that they must be fed bread as an element of the meal? No, of course not! So why make that leap for meat?

Except a family that doesn't eat processed meat is almost certainly not going to be eating meat at every meal.

Thats completely beside the point that the one food the OP mentions her son can eat is fresh meat. She needs to be clear this isn't an expectation.

I doubt the play date parent will be giving much headspace to the implications of their wider diet, beyond what the op has actually told her (which would run totally contrary to the point you've just made).

I’d just cook something veggie.

the one food the OP mentions her son can eat is fresh meat. She needs to be clear this isn't an expectation

I disagree - the parent has not said anything that would give the impression that they expect meat. They have simply made clear what he can't eat (which is a subset of meat, hence making the distinction re: fresh meat)

I disagree - the parent has not said anything that would give the impression that they expect meat. They have simply made clear what he can't eat (which is a subset of meat, hence making the distinction re: fresh meat)

Clearly I don't think the same, and there have been many similar reactions on this thread. It depends whether the OP cares about potentially coming across as demanding or not. Up to her.

I doubt the play date parent will be giving much headspace to the implications of their wider diet

The play date parent is clearly giving this family quite a lot of headspace in general, given that she has labelled them wanky /snobby.

Completely agree with you @Octomore , they are just stating a fact , no expectation has been made

We very rarely eat meat-free dinners in this house. Most dinners are based around meat or fish in one form or another. I guess I'd have to do pizza or plain tomato pasta or jacket potato. It would just be a premade pizza though, I'm not making my own.

The play date parent is clearly giving this family quite a lot of headspace in general, given that she has labelled them wanky /snobby.

Have they?

I may have missed something but my understanding is that the OP hasn't delivered this piece of news yet. She's just speculating on a potential reaction.

Oh wait, it's just processed meat.i could do a chicken pasta. Probs easiest

My understanding is that this is an actual reaction from her stepsister about a different child/family. The OP is therefore wondering how her own family's choices will be viewed in the UK.

The oP said: "this wasn't said to me but my stepsister who wasn't happy"

So this was an actual event, and that is how her stepsister viewed the family with that request.

Surely a simple meat free meal is the default when feeding children anyway?

I wouldn't assume that. Growing up, common dinners were spaghetti carbonara with chicken, cottage pie, spaghetti Bolognese, chicken pie, chicken Kiev, fishfingers, sausages and beans, sausage casserole, roast beef, roast chicken.

It was much more common to have a meat based dinner in our house than a meat-free one. Same for my own kids.

Having reread the OPs posts I'm more confused than ever

I'm surprised at the number of posters who seem to be unable to do a meal not containing any meat at all.

I grew up with mainly meat or fish dinners too, but the vast majority of the meat dinners I grew up with weren't processed meat. Fresh meat from the butcher was the norm, and we didn't eat much bacon/ham. You know mince isn't processed? And roasted chicken breast is equally fine?

People are acting as though a meal without processed meat is an obscure, difficult thing to produce, when actually most meals that I can think of don't involve processed meat. Whether it's a quick lunch or a big dinner, there are loads of quick, cheap, tasty options without processed meat.

I agree @Octomore. Maybe this is why they are so defensive and rude about people who say they don't eat processed meat.

My DC were veggie when young and they asked for veggie food on play dates. They still don't eat beef or pork; only chicken and fish if pushed. God the other mums must hate me!

It is eye opening!

In the world of some MNers it is apparently ruder to communicate a dietary preference (which is likely to be for health reasons, even if not an allergy) than it is to dismiss someone as a dick/wanky/snobby on the basis of their food preferences. 🤷‍♀️