"He eats meat, but can't eat any processed meat."

[Flangelica]

If someone said this to you when you asked about dietary requirements for a child, would you think they were massively w*nky/snobby, or is it socially acceptable and fine?

^ something totally outlandish

I would never go against the parents request whatever I thought of it.

If it was because of an allergen I think they would say, so I just end up thinking they're precious.

Nope. I’d think it’s perfectly reasonable to avoid processed meat. I don’t eat it, and I'm
not wanky, I just eat really simple normal food 🤷🏼‍♀️

Nope. I’d think it’s perfectly reasonable to avoid processed meat. I don’t eat it, and I'm
not wanky, I just eat really simple normal food 🤷🏼‍♀️

Agree. But asking other people who your child is having one meal with. And who, for all you know only eat 'processed' meat. it's more about courtesy than nutrition.

It's like parents who bring their own sugar free snacks to parties so their kids don't have to eat party food. You know the type.

And who, for all you know only eat 'processed' meat.

Are you seriously saying there are people who eat nothing but processed meat?

Or do you mean that's the only kind of meat they eat? If so, no drama - just give the kid a veggie option (e.g. pizza without the pepperoni). Meat free options do exist and that's what your serve if the child was vegetarian, surely?

Um well it is a probable human carcinogen so I don't think it's wanky no. Just offer a variety of things.

All those saying it's wanky/snobby - how do you react when people have dietary preferences for religious reasons? (E.g. no pork)

Do you see that as different? If so - why? It's still basically just a preference about what you put in your body, it's not an allergy.

I'm wondering why some preferences might be deemed worth of respect, but others not.

It's not a preference. It's a requirement for those who follow the faith. They'd no more eat pork than someone with a severe allergy would eat a forbidden food.

I would assume they either have a sulphite allergy or are just trying not to eat processed meat because it is so unhealthy.

Do you mean to say your child is the same one that the op’s stepsister had to cater for at a play date?

Religion is ultimately a matter of choice though, isn't it? Someone who chooses to follow a certain religion isn't (shouldn't be) forced into it - they choose to adopt that religion and everything that goes with it.

I understand that the pork rule may stem from historic times when pork was dangerous to eat, likely to have parasites etc. So it may well have its roots in wanting to preserve health.

I personally wouldn't see a religious choice as being more worthy of respect than someone who chooses to eat a certain way because they believe in avoiding putting harmful chemicals in their body.

For clarity - I see both as worthy of respect and would respect and accommodate both choices. I wouldn't see either as precious or wanky, or deserving of ridicule like many on here.

They'd no more eat pork than someone with a severe allergy would eat a forbidden food.

Just like a vegan* would no more eat meat than someone with a severe allergy would eat a forbidden food. Allergies aside, it's all about choices.

I find it odd that MNers are so keen to belittle people who make active decisions about what they will or won't eat. Apparently an allergy is the only valid basis for doing so, according to many on here. 🤷‍♀️

(*Obviously I mean real vegans, not the kind who say they are but aren't)

I would be fine with it. We should all eat less processed meat. I try and keep it to a minimum in our house.

To be fair a child who is "just fussy" may well be completely incapable of eating certain foods without vomiting. You can retrain yourself eventually, with effort, to swallow foods that repel you, but not during the span of an average play date.

Not eating something for religious or ethical reasons is different to not eating something for health reasons. One is a matter of principle and one is not.

I would prioritise religion or ethical choices over personal preference. I have both in my diet and the ones for personal preference (for example I do not eat aspartame because I think it has a dodgy record) I would absolutely compromise on if hungry/thirsty, whereas not eating meat is something I would really struggle to compromise on as it would make me feel bad/guilty to do it.

I would respect other people's choices always and not comment, but I would view religious diets as being of higher importance than health choices even though I myself am not religious.

People used to always ask me what my dd preferred to eat when she was visiting. I don't see why this parent giving a very small indication of her child's preferences is getting eaten alive on this thread. It's not as if the OP is being asked to produce a vegan feast, or something complicated.

For more recent posters,this wasn't said to me but my stepsister who wasn't happy.

My children also don't eat processed meat (except for very occasional bacon) as I'm concerned about the health risk, so was hoping people might say it was a reasonable thing to say!

(currently we live abroad where processed meat isn't used in traditional meals - very traditional place - so it's not been an issue up until now, but considering a UK move soon so wondering what's UK appropriate!)

Processed meat is now in the same category as smoking for causing cancer apparently. That's probably why.

Your stepsister was being unreasonable - how hard is it to make a cheese sandwich or a jacket potato?

I think people who object to requests like this often do so because they feel that their diet has been implicitly criticised. Hence viewing it as 'snobby'. Someone saying "I choose not to eat that for health reasons" is received as that person judging their lifestyle.

It's a wanky preference that little caspian can eat sea bass and fillet mignon but not a chicken burger or ham on a pizza. Fine to do in their own home but a wanky thing to stipulate at a play date, about a single meal . I am sure, when being offered food, he would say if he really didn't like something. I wouldn't have a problem complying but I'd think the parents were dicks. Like they are signalling their culinary superiority. Like saying he can only eat organic vegetables or fresh pasta, not dried. Saying he doesn't like burgers, or sausages, or something specific - fine.

Considering they're linked to cancer then no they aren't snobby.. they're being quite alright

I'd think the parents were dicks. Like they are signalling their culinary superiority

You've just neatly demonstrated exactly the attitude I described above.

I must have missed the part where the parents requested filet mignon for their child. The attitude that not eating processed meat must mean you require insanely expensive/fancy food is very bizarre, and seriously lacking in imagination.

Saying he doesn't like burgers, or sausages, or something specific - fine.

Yes this. Saying he'll have fresh but not not processed sounds a bit demanding, like you're expecting that. You need to be very clear that something simple and veggie is fine.

Bloody hell @justfiveminutes you've read all that into one simple request?
Get over yourself, seriously 🙄