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Original poster

Prom Queen??? Really??

159 replies

FraeYah · 03/07/2022 14:02

My niece was voted Prom Queen. She is a really lovely girl, kind and clever, and I wrote something lovely on the FB post.
But, come on. Why are schools promoting this nonsense? I'm not objecting because it's an American idea, and not because its aimed at girls (there was a Prom King...and a Prom prince); but because it's completely unnecessary and about as relevant as Miss World. They could have had a fun celebration in fancy clothes for everyone, without having to run an outdated "popularity contest" pitting children against each other.

OP posts:
FabFitFifties · 03/07/2022 19:15

Those schools who are voting for the "unpopular" kids - how bloody humiliating can you get. So glad I've got a son too.

USaYwHatNow · 03/07/2022 19:16

We had prom King and Queen at my school leavers prom 15 years ago. It was a bit of fun and none of us are mentally scarred from it 🙄

Pieceofpurplesky · 03/07/2022 19:17

Ask the kids. They love the prom. Doesn't have to cost a fortune. At my school we allocate free tickets to those who can't afford them and we have loads of donated suits and dresses. We have worked with the local college in the past to get hair and nails done for some. We do the Prom as the kids (and parents) who attend love it.
It was ours last week. Only about 20 kids in the year chose not to go (over half were on holiday making the most of it being cheaper). Some were in dresses from ASOS and some in designer suits. Lots of girls in trousers this year, and lots of frocks and trainers. So many parents turned up to watch. Very few fancy cars.
We have awards, voted for by the kids and we try to be as inclusive as possible - sport/dance/music/cooking etc are voted for. No 'best looking' or 'best dressed'. We do have a 'most likely to be on TV'. Thing is - the kids themselves want this. They also want Prom King and Queen. Interestingly never goes to the popular kids. They tend to vote for a couple who have been together for ages. I am not a fan of it but the kids want it.
Just because we didn't have it doesn't mean they shouldn't. It's part of our tradition now

Pieceofpurplesky · 03/07/2022 19:18

ouch321 · 03/07/2022 19:13

Don't approve.

It's very Mean Girls and the ones who say "It's a bit of fun," are the same kind of people who call bullying "banter".

Oh and that is total bullshit

CupidStunt22 · 03/07/2022 19:19

USaYwHatNow · 03/07/2022 19:16

We had prom King and Queen at my school leavers prom 15 years ago. It was a bit of fun and none of us are mentally scarred from it 🙄

You checked with everyone did you?

Ylvamoon · 03/07/2022 19:23

Reading this thread, something good came from lockdown... no prom.
DD was devastated, I was glad, I didn't need to spend £££ on a dress!

Rosebel · 03/07/2022 19:25

They did best dress, best suit and best couple at DDs prom. It wasn't voted by the kids though it was the teachers who decided.
The only people who seemed to care was one couple who thought they were going to win and didn't. When I asked my DD what she thought she said it was okay but since no one really cared a bit pointless.
I do think Prom King or Queen is actually worse. What are the criteria for winning the tittle?

Greensleeves · 03/07/2022 19:27

Itsrainingatlast · 03/07/2022 14:31

oh come on. It’s a bit of fun and not necessarily a popularity contest. At my school the boy voted Prom King was recognised by his classmates (and teachers) because despite his mum dying in the middle of his GCSEs, he showed massive bravery and still sat all his exams. But we also have other awards “most likely to be Prime Minister” (most of our Y11s would do a better job), “most likely to become a teacher”, “most likely to be on Love Island” etc.

I think that's a bloody awful thing to celebrate. A young man bereaved and in shock, being praised for stuffing it down and taking exams rather than being encouraged to take time to process the loss in a healthy way? Appalling.

AngelinaFibres · 03/07/2022 19:41

TeenDivided · 03/07/2022 15:17

Oh great. So the cool kids have voted in 2 on-cool ones as a joke.

Maybe not, but it so easily could be like that a way of laughing at them in plain sight with plausible deniability.

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This. The children who won would have been entirely aware that it was essentially a pity vote. Like those groups of men in night clubs who have " who can pull the fattest / ugliest/ geekiest woman competitions". .

AngelinaFibres · 03/07/2022 19:49

Greensleeves · 03/07/2022 19:27

I think that's a bloody awful thing to celebrate. A young man bereaved and in shock, being praised for stuffing it down and taking exams rather than being encouraged to take time to process the loss in a healthy way? Appalling.

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So the winner of 'most likely to be on Love island'. How the hell does anyone think that's an okay prize to win.

Tulipvase · 03/07/2022 19:52

I don’t agree with prom king and queen and my daughter’s school had some sort of awful voting thing for ridiculous categories but I don’t really understand the uproar about proms and how it’s a new thing, I’m 46 and we had a leavers ball at 16 and I went to a convent!

Momicrone · 03/07/2022 19:53

'None of us are scarred' - have you asked everyone?

L1ttledrummergirl · 03/07/2022 20:41

Dds school opted for a summer ball this year for the 6th forms. It sounds much more civilised but in fact was exactly the same without the overkill on dresses and personal grooming. Grin

TheGrumpiest · 03/07/2022 21:41

Do the Goths go to the prom? Oh, it's not 1986 anymore... <goes back to listening to Jesus and the Mary Chain>

When did proms in the UK become a thing? It's interesting really. You just wouldn't have got teens from my youth dressing up like this. It would have been social suicide. We all stuck to our tribes. Goths, Heavies (denim jackets plastered with heavy metal band badges), Surfies, Townies etc. Maybe the Townies would have gone for a prom? Maybe this was just where I grew up. If all these groups were thrown together for a school leavers prom it would have been carnage. I'm sure pigs blood would have been chucked about.

In someways it's quite nice to see young people dressing up and coming together to have fun? Maybe I'm naive as don't have teens.

easyday · 03/07/2022 21:45

They didn't do it at our school. Only a few couples at my sons and one at my daughter's- so picking a king and queen would have been odd. They just all wanted a fun evening dancing.
I just had lunch with an American girl who said no chance she'd be going to prom as it was still for couples in the States and she didn't imagine she'd get asked.

Original poster
FraeYah · 03/07/2022 22:12

Summer ball sounds so much better.

OP posts:
Pieceofpurplesky · 03/07/2022 22:13

Yes @TheGrumpiest goths do go to the prom. One girl this year wore a fantastic purple dress with a black lace bodice. Kids from every group to. Such varieties in outfits - lots of bright suits with t-shirts for all, girls in tux, flouncy frocks, slinky dresses, formal suits ...

Kris02 · 03/07/2022 22:26

Ugghh...I **img hate the way we’ve imported proms from the US. I always thought we were too ironic and cynical.

ChrisReasBathEggs · 03/07/2022 22:31

It's a bit desperate and cringey. Don't understand why it's now a thing here. We just got smashed and snogged each other on the beach. Much more fun.

Pieceofpurplesky · 03/07/2022 22:37

@ChrisReasBathEggs a lot of teens today may find getting smashed and snogging on the beach cringey.

People change. Prom is now part of British schooling and has been for over 20 years (ever since I have been teaching).

saraclara · 03/07/2022 22:52

Ihatethenewlook · 03/07/2022 18:23

This happened in my dds class. Prom king and queen are both disabled and in wheelchairs

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How patronising.

saraclara · 03/07/2022 22:54

It's weird how we're supposed to be all about equality. Then suddenly, at prom time, a couple of school leavers are deemed to be somehow special.

Pleaseletmeconfirm · 03/07/2022 22:55

I think proms are a good thing but I don't like the idea of voting for a prom queen. All the kids I know who have been to probs have really enjoyed them. They are a great excuse to dress up and have fun. You don't have to spend much money.

OneMomentPlease · 03/07/2022 23:32

FraeYah · 03/07/2022 22:12

Summer ball sounds so much better.

This is pure snobbery. Call it a summer ball, the dresses/hair/nails/limos will be exactly the same!

Themidnightcat · 03/07/2022 23:36

At my prom they had an award for the "best looking girl" kinda makes me cringe, even to this day (12 years later).

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