Colleague offered help to a man friend and told inappropriate

[lunavista]

Ok so my colleague (work friend) told me this story in total mortification and I am trying to help.

She has a male family friend she has known for ages. He's married with a child. His wife is travelling to see her dying mother and he's staying back with their child. They often text to say hello etc and when she heard about his wife, she offered to come over for the weekend and help with the child. He then told her that it would be inappropriate for him to have a woman that's not related to him stay at his home in his wife's absence. She is absolutely mortified and doesn't know how to respond. I a personally think he's been a muppet. I asked if she has a good relationship with the wife and she said she doesn't think she approves of their friendship. My colleague is single if that's relevant .

I honestly can't see a problem with her offer. AIBU?

Perhaps the friend could dress up as the wife, be named as the wife and call herself mummy.

How old is the child? Why do I feel like he's probably about 16 😂

Think your twxt to friend was helpful, hopefully she will think about how it looks.

I would leave DS with DH over a weekend when DS was younger. DH has taken DS to visit friends at the other end of the country on his own in the past when I couldn't get the time off. He's a perfectly capable man who knows how to change nappies, feed his kid and generally look after him. We both learned that at the same time - women aren't born with the capability to look after a child more than a man is!

DH would have been rolling his eyes if a work colleague - male or female - had asked if he wanted them to come over to 'babysit'!

Having said that, when my mum was dying in hospital, we got a lot of text from people saying 'let us know if you need any help', 'let us know if DS wants to do a sleep over for a night or two' (from DS's best friend's parents) 'let us know if you need any shopping'. But no-one offered to actually sleep in our house. Because that's weird.

OP, you said "Because she texted me in hysterics". How do you text in hysterics?

Your 'friend' is batshit totally inappropriate good for the man for putting boundaries in place.

My wife would not accept me having opposite sex friends, not from the day I met her to now. She would go completely out of her mind.

And I agree.

What is the point of having opposite sex friends when you are married?

Furthermore, I have never met a woman that would accept their man having female friends...especially if they are also physically attractive...FACT!

This comment is more batshit than the OP.

What a sad marriage when you can't have opposite sex friends.

Now you're just trolling, right?

What's the point of same sex friends? Are you allowed them? Do you have them? If so, what's the difference?

Inappropriate! I'd be annoyed

No. Just being honest, judging from my experience and that of my circle.

This thread has turned into comedy GOLD! 😂

Each to their own, but.....that's an abusive marriage.

Ridiculous offer. Why on earth would she A) think it appropriate and B) think he would need help with his own kids?

I honestly don't know what she was thinking.

Why would she offer that? I don't think it's appropriate and shouldn't be required. Fair enough offering if he needs anything to let her know but not to suggest she comes to stay for the weekend! He was totally correct to say no and point out it would be inappropriate to do.

Yeah, I do.

I mean, I have to, given that my wife doesn't do what I need her to do.

Namely have a penis. But we are very happy together.

One should not introduce the prospect however remote of impropriety. Things happen between men and women all the time
...much of it unintended.

I think it's a shame you're not allowed any friends James, it's not healthy relationships dynamics of you can't be trusted not to make our with anyone you are friendly with.

Yes, my friends are the same.

Every second Friday we have a panel meeting to assess the attractiveness of any potential new friends, we use a scoring card. If they score over 20, they are gone.

I quite agree.

I tripped and fell on a mans penis the other week, totally unintended. That's why my wife won't let me spend time with him anymore.

I can't think why James doesn't have any friends

You unintentionally have sex with women????

She overstepped.