Letting children out of sight at a park

[Bbqchicken]

If you meet up with a group of friends and their children at a park within walking distance of your home, take picnics you have a lot of laughs play games drink etc. Would you let your primary school age children go off out of sight while you sit chatting with friends into the evening? AIBU to think it's irresponsible? If I did that and anything happened to my child age 7/8 I'd never forgive myself.

They are 8 fgs
I wasn't chucked out with no guidance roaming free at that age but was a far more streetwise teenager than so many these day

There's an unusual level of anxiety on MN which is unhealthy IMO

This! And there’s a rose tinted view of the past when they were children. It was apparently safe for them to have some independence but not now. You’d think there was an increase of child abductions.

@theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity

“perhaps they mean because their child is precious to them it's not exactly a hardship to patent them?“

I could & wotluld follow my DD everywhere, drive her everywhere, play out with her, never let her leave my sight. It’s not that it’s a ‘hardship’, it’s smothering.

then I would have a neurotic, anxious young adult that isn’t able to cope with life. Never having balanced risk & freedom is detrimental to their MH in later life. This is why so many young adults just can’t cope. I would much rather have a confident DD that was able to manage risk safely & be calm & responsible.

Oarents that allow this are in no way lazy or unable to parent. Quite the opposite, they’re giving them the tools in which to navigate through life.

if you can't be arsed to get them to school and back safely why have kids

Truly the most pathetic comment on the thread

You’re making wild assumptions. A sensible 8 year old can learn independence by starting off slowly. For those living in quiet places, limited traffic, no roads to cross and ‘everyone knows everyone’, the risk is very low. Some live very close to schools.

There's a huge difference between following your child and actually taking them to school twice a day. When they are actually a small child

Not necessarily. My children walked a short, safe route from school from age 7. I was there at home to meet them. I think SS would be annoyed at the school wasting their time school if they tried to prevent that from happening by involving them.

@theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity

"There's a huge difference between following your child and actually taking them to school twice a day. When they are actually a small child"

Clearly you've not read any of those studies I've linked to or points made, but go back and read what the experts think. I have already listed them there. It mentions for example, children walk at a slower pace, engage in the environment more, increases socialisation with other children when parents are not present. It specifically mentions these benefits for children "in early childhood"

So yeah, there are benefits there, which is why experts are so concerned about parents being too overprotective, they even have a name for jt - hyper parenting.

This kind of post always makes me laugh about the limited imagination of the poster.

OP describes somewhere that could be literally any of a thousand places in the UK. The reply suggests one

“AIBU. A tradesman came round my house and rudely asked me for a coffee. I didn’t give him one.”

”YANBU. Was his name Dave?”

It depends on so much - is it well lit, is it open, are they near busy roads, is it generally a safe area, do the kids know what to do if something happens- that it's impossible for us to judge.

For example where I live I send my 5 and 6 year olds off ahead on their bikes on their way to school and follow along the route with my youngest who is 3. Would that sound entirely bonkers for someone in the middle of a built up city? Of course. But on my traffic free route, small town vibes with various friend's houses on the way it gives them a taste of independence, responsibility and problem solving.

Yes there's risk, but it's riskier to not do things like this and end up with adults who can't wipe their own arses.

Only on Mumsnet is making your child gets to school under the age of ten classed as hyper parenting 😂

Fine and normal in our local park. Guess it depends on a lot of individual factors though. I assume no one came to any harm in the situation you are referring to?

Only on Mumsnet is letting your perfectly competent child walk to school at 8 neglectful.

End of. Ask the school and they will tell you the same.

Nonsense- only children in p1 and 2 here must be handed from and to an adult (so roughly equivalent to reception and y1) most dc in p3 still get walked/collected but some do walk themselves (average of 7). By p4 where they are mostly turning 8 throughout the year many walk to and from school themselves with the knowledge of the school. During covid the school actively asked for any dc who could manage to walk to avoid parents gathering to do so. This included my daughters year group who was in p3 at the time.

Lots of children go to school in a 3 tier system are are expected to travel to middle school from year 5 independently because parents can’t be doing 2 simultaneously school runs.

Unless you know every 8 year old and and every school, then you’re being silly. Context is everything.

I would and have started doing so with my 7.5 yo - he is sensible and knows to stay in the gated playground and to not leave the playground, even with an adult, and even with an adult he knows, unless explicitly arranged with me! It does make me a bit anxious but I am consciously trying not to helicopter, he is ready for more independence and I would be doing him a disservice not to give him those opportunities. Obvs different in an unfamiliar / dark place or around water, but in a park we know well, with lots of kids and parents around, I think it’s ok.

Watch last night's 24 hours in police custody.
No

I think at age 7/8 kids should be starting to develop a little bit of independence so starting to let them out of your sight for short periods is a healthy thing to do. Obviously this depends on the particular circumstances, it isn't always going to be appropriate.

Child safety is at a record high, statistically they're less likely to come to harm than when you were a child yourself. It's mostly just the modern media coverage that makes society feel otherwise.

I'd be ok with my 8 and 10 year olds walking to school by themselves - less so much with the two of them together though ironically! It's less than half a mile along a country lane (no pavements unfortunately), with no roads to cross. Negotiating the chaotic car parking outside the school is my biggest worry there. School policy is officially that all kids are met out by an adult (and presumably they expect them to be dropped off by one in the mornings too), although I know of one yr 6 girl who's recently been allowed to walk to and from school alone.

Another primary school nearby lets all the yr 3 and older kids out of school grounds by themselves (parents are supposed to wait outside the gates). Years 3 and 4 told that if their parent isn't there they should come back inside, but 5 and 6 are fine to walk home by themselves (if that's what they're expecting).

@theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity

"Only on Mumsnet is making your child gets to school under the age of ten classed as hyper parenting 😂"

I literally quoted it from an academic study! So no, not just on mumsnet. Please at least take the time to read some of the academic research out there (I have linked to loads), otherwise you really are making yourself look silly.

There are more links in the pic.

That child was 6 years old and how often do children get abducted and murdered compared to how many children get seriously harmed in car accidents? Yet, we all (myself included) get in various vehicles on a regular basis.

But going in a car is often an unavoidable risk as is crossing a road. There's no good unavoidable reason to let a young child out of your site for long periods of time. None. If them gaining some independence when they are so young means more than their safety then you are imo a poor parent

There are very few car trips people take with young children that are actually unavoidable.

We used to do exactly as described in the first post with our kids. There would have been say, 20 kids, aged 6-12. They all stuck together. I never gave it a second thought. One girl broke her arm once, her mum was standing right there! Unavoidable (unless you banned plating on the monkey bars).

Nope.
Wouldn't risk anything just because I'm enjoying myself with friends.