Letting children out of sight at a park

[Bbqchicken]

If you meet up with a group of friends and their children at a park within walking distance of your home, take picnics you have a lot of laughs play games drink etc. Would you let your primary school age children go off out of sight while you sit chatting with friends into the evening? AIBU to think it's irresponsible? If I did that and anything happened to my child age 7/8 I'd never forgive myself.

As for your nephew. Aged eight is way too early to be coming home from school by yourself, so there is nothing wrong with him not knowing the way home. He doesn't need to, he should be supervised.

End of. Ask the school and they will tell you the same.

I'm already a cautious parent but because if this I have to remind myself to be extra cautious https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KillingoffEmilyJones

Thanks for talking sense HB. There are some really negligent, ignorant carers and parents on here. They need to do basic safeguarding training. Google the NSPCC training site.

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply. It has been interesting reading all of your views and responses.

Time seems to go so fast the children are growing up so quickly it all feels a bit of a whirlwind sometimes!

This was just awful, so very sad 😢

@stayingpositiveifpossible

"As for your nephew. Aged eight is way too early to be coming home from school by yourself, so there is nothing wrong with him not knowing the way home. He doesn't need to, he should be supervised.

End of. Ask the school and they will tell you the same."

But why? What's your reasoning?
If is so dangerous why are Swiss children perfectly capable of walking to school alone from the age of 4? And why do the police / Swiss authorities warn parents against the dangers of accompanying their children to school (so called parent taxis)?

If the conditions were right (down a path say, no roads to cross or walk along) why is a 4 year old Swiss child capable of doing this, but an 8 year old British child not? What's your reasoning or evidence? We can't rely on just hysteria or "because I said so" - that's just irrational.

Oh and by the way at my old primary, once children reached the junior school (on a separate site to the infants school), parents were not allowed onto the school grounds to collect their children after school, without reason. So children regularly walked home alone, and I still see them doing it today. Some parents pick up, particularly those who live further away. But I also see many children walking the alleyways home alone, with friends, but without parents ... with the approval of the school

https://babyccinokids.com/blog/2019/01/08/schooling-in-switzerland-early-independence-and-lots-of-the-outdoors/

https://www.thelocal.ch/20190916/explained-why-the-swiss-are-worried-about-parent-taxis/

It is not hysteria and personally I don't give a shit what they do in Switzerland I've lived abroad myself.

And I don't intend to argue the toss about it with anyone.

Safety is safety and I'm not compromising for anyone and I sincerely hope parents reading this will stick to their intuition.

I don't have to justify my views to anyone thanks.

And that was before County Lines kid. Heard of that?
Honestly you are talking absolute bollocks.

@stayingpositiveifpossible

"As for your nephew. Aged eight is way too early to be coming home from school by yourself, so there is nothing wrong with him not knowing the way home. He doesn't need to, he should be supervised.

End of. Ask the school and they will tell you the same."

Not you don't need to justify your views to anyone else, but when you're telling other people what they should be doing, then you really do need to be able to provide some reasoning, or justified argument to support your points, otherwise it is just hysteria.

Especially your claim that the school will say it's wrong. What's your evidence for that? Sorry but without evidence, reasoning or justification you just come across as unhinged.

Yes I would.

My kids started going out to play at age 7 so I'd be totally fine with that.

That attitude always astonishes me
Sarah Payne was abducted from such a place. I've not heard of that many abductions in more built up 'rough' areas

I think that parents pre Maddie McCann were more relaxed ….my sister was a rep for Tui in the early 90s and Maddie parents approach was perfectly normal. . It was normal for us to have dinner on the resort and take turns to check our children.

Course I'm unhinged. I used to be a Parent Governor of a local primary school that is now a national teaching school.

YOU do the training in safeguarding that that entails and you will find out.

Put the work in.

In the meantime I feel sorry for that nephew that you are looking after.

Perhaps you should inform his parents that you are posting on mumsnet and ignoring their wishes and making disparaging comments about their very sensible parenting strategies.

No, not perhaps but definitely. If that were my child I wouldn't want you anywhere near them quite frankly.

Wasn't normal in my day I grew up in the 80s we were never left alone

@stayingpositiveifpossible

"Perhaps you should inform his parents that you are posting on mumsnet and ignoring their wishes and making disparaging comments about their very sensible parenting strategies.

What disparaging comments have I made about somebody else's parenting? Please quote them, where I have commented on another person's parenting skills.

As far as I'm aware, I've not commented on anyone's parenting skills, per se. What I have done is to ask you for your reasoning / justification for telling other parents what they must / not do, without fully knowing their individual situation, or being able to provide any justification for your view whatsoever.

Read my posts earlier down. I've already said it's a nuanced debate. For what it's worth, I think when it comes to your own children, you make the decision and I agree with you that you don't need to justify your parenting decisions to some stranger on the internet. But when you start telling other people what they should be doing, then yeah, I do think you need to be able to support / evidence / defend your viewpoint. Otherwise it's nothing more than "because I said so".

Yr1/2 I'd want to know where they are. Yr3 a bit. Yr4 rule is simply don't leave the park

Nice and judgemental post op. About your 'friends'

At 7/8 yrs old, yes I was happy for them to be out of my direct line of sight, especially at a park that was within walking distance of home and would, therefore, have been very familiar to them. But depending on the park/area there might be rules, like not going near the ponds, not splitting up from friends, checking in every so often, etc.

The thing is, this sort of approach isn't a sudden one off where you suddenly find yourself in a group at the park with friends and decide this is the day they can run off for hours and you just don't care. This sort of thing you build up over time, starting when they are small. Initially when they don't have friends with them who might egg them on. You just let them run ahead to the playground first, then maybe they can go off exploring for two minutes, then 5, then while you have a picnic, etc. but check up on them to make sure they're following the rules you've set. And so you build confidence that they won't do x,y, & z. That they know how to find their way back. That they know what to do if you aren't where they thought you would be. Etc. Because you've gone over it with them and talked about it and they've been tested in small ways.

@stayingpositiveifpossible

Apologies, having challenged you for not being able to support your claim that no school will allow an 8 year old to walk home alone, "end of". I realise I have also made an unsubstantiated claim: that I think it can (depending on individual circumstances) be acceptable for eight year old children to walk home from school alone, and that some schools do allow this. So, to avoid being a hypocrite, I will correct that now:

First news directly tells children:
"Technically, the law doesn’t state a minimum age limit for children walking to school alone. That said, most councils and local authorities recommend 8-years-old as a good time to start the process of learning to walk to school alone."

subscribe.firstnews.co.uk/walking-to-school-alone/

Now I know this isn't the most reliable of sources, so here are a few examples of schools whose safeguarding policies allow children to walk home from school alone from year 4 (age 8/9)

Colderidge School: "It is school policy that only children in years 4, 5 and year 6 are allowed to walk home on their own"
www.coleridgeprimary.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Walking-home-alone.pdf

Teignmouth school allows it from year 3: "Dear Parents/Carers of year 3, 4, 5 and 6 children,
If your child is allowed to leave school at the end of the day without being collected, please complete the form below. This option is only available to children in Year 3, 4, 5 and 6." www.teignmouthprimary.co.uk/walking-home-form/

Safeguarding policy of Tiverton Primary school: "Parents/ carers of children who wish their children to walk home unescorted by an adult, at the end of the school day (15:15hrs), must adhere to the following guidelines:
·∙ Children must be in year 4, 5 or 6."

www.tivertonprimary.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/WALK-HOME-ALONE-POLICY-updated.pdf

Finally, it is worth noting that the NSPCC notes that children under 8 should not walk home from school alone, but that from 8, it depends on the maturity of the child:

"There’s no legal age that your child can travel home from school alone – this is up to you and your best judgement, or your school’s rules. ... Every child is different – but some schools advise children under 8 shouldn't walk home without an adult or older sibling."

www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/away-from-home/at-school/

And just to reiterate, I am NOT saying all 8 year olds are mature enough / should be allowed to walk home from school alone. I think it is a nuanced debate that depends on many factors. I'm just asking why you think it is a categorical NO, why you are incorrectly stating that it is against child safeguarding policies (it depends on the policy!) and why you are incorrectly implying no school would allow this?

And I bloody forgot the main one!

Two Moors not only permits it, but positively encourages it:

"From the outset of Key Stage 2 we encourage those pupils who live near school to become more independent and walk home with peers or alone. This depends on individual circumstances and our Year 3 teachers would expect a written note from parents/carers expressing their wishes."

www.twomoors.devon.sch.uk/prospectus/

Nope

I’m not desperately worried about her being abducted. In our rough built up area I would be more worried about her witnessing something unpleasant or being recruited into gang activity.

The chances of her being abducted are so vanishingly unlikely that we still remember the rare occasions where that did happen and report on it. The kids who witness stabbings or are drawn into drug dealing, not so much. And the kids who simply play out in a village overlooked by neighbours and then go home, even less so. When they’re playing out the front of mine I tend to be quietly getting on with a chore such as washing up where I can view the front, or do a bit of gardening so I can hear them. I know neighbours in other streets do the same because there’s a parent I know from the school on virtually every street in the village.

I’d much rather she get the benefit of playing out, navigating social dynamics in a group of kids, learning some independence than keep her under my watch at all times just in case someone chances down the road and abducts her specifically out of a group of kids aged 5-11.

The question is too vague. It friends on too many things. Most MN'ers wouldn't because they are over cautious. If they went there regularly and were in a group , then it might be fine.

At that age, no.

As the children are in a group, I would have no problem with doing this.