Letting children out of sight at a park

[Bbqchicken]

If you meet up with a group of friends and their children at a park within walking distance of your home, take picnics you have a lot of laughs play games drink etc. Would you let your primary school age children go off out of sight while you sit chatting with friends into the evening? AIBU to think it's irresponsible? If I did that and anything happened to my child age 7/8 I'd never forgive myself.

Do you work in a school?
No schools in my local authority allow kids to go home without an adult accompanying them - or arriving to school. Because it's an unecessary risk

It's quite standard for schools to let children go home without an adult in y6 or y5 provided the parent has given written permission.

My local school

@TeenDivided kids in year 5 and 6 are not 8

Depends on so much. How much out of site, for how long, what the type of area is etc. We go to a cricket pitch often of an evening. There's a park and a cricket pitch obviously and a club house. Lots of kids play there in the evening while adults picnic/ chat. My kids (one older, one younger than what you mention) are sometimes out of sight, but (1) they know not to leave the areas and (2) the area is safe/ contained, although not cut off (3) we live in a community where people generally know or know of each other, and look out for each other (4) it's never for long. I see it as very very low risk.

Oh, I agree most wouldn't allow at age 8. (But you didn't say that in the post I responded to. You just said 'kids' not 'kids of that age' or 'kids y4 & below'.)

@theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity

No, I don't work in a school.

I'm not sure why that's relevant?

In our local area only p1 to p3 need to be collected by an adult. P4 to p7 dont.

No safeguarding issue. School policy isn't the same as safeguarding

Maybe you should be telling the OP that i.e that OP is absolutely and definitely right always and under all circumstances! OP asked for peoples opinions and she got them!

Including mine!

Oh God duh.....I really never knew that 'life was about balancing risks...etc.'

I've lived abroad and raised a (now seventeen year old thanks) ...

But I realise no amont of any experience will unblock OPs ears - or even imagine that someone else has anything to contribute - so good luck with that one...

when it happens to you or one of your friends you will be changing your tune. Latest.

@theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity

"Topgub
@theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity

I dont agree it's a risk at all.

It certainly wouldn't trigger any safeguarding concerns

There's no reason why it should.

Do you work in a school?
No schools in my local authority allow kids to go home without an adult accompanying them - or arriving to school. Because it's an unecessary risk"

If you scroll down a bit further on this post I have already linked to schools who permit it, their policies and safeguarding risk assessments.

However, some schools don't just allow it but actively encourage children walking home alone, as this school does:

"From the outset of Key Stage 2 we encourage those pupils who live near school to become more independent and walk home with peers or alone. This depends on individual circumstances and our Year 3 teachers would expect a written note from parents/carers expressing their wishes."

www.twomoors.devon.sch.uk/prospectus/

Just because your school / area doesn't do it, doesn't make that true for everyone. There are parts of the country where this level of independence is encouraged, and indeed is the norm for many parts of Europe (scroll down to see my earlier links on this).

Re: parent governor

FYI A parent governor is part of the MANAGEMENT COMMITTE OF A SCHOOL.
Not by sole qualification by any means and I'm not going to list them here, but it is and was a NATIONAL TEACHING SCHOOL WITH THE HIGHEST OFSTED RATING THAT YOU CAN GET.

And yes, it would have been regarded as a safeguarding issue if a child aged 8 walked home from the school on their own!

"And yes, it would have been regarded as a safeguarding issue if a child aged 8 walked home from the school on their own!"

And it might have been in your area, perhaps you don't live in the most savoury part of the country, perhaps there's drugs and all sorts of shit going on in the park next door. Who knows.

But your experience does not cancel out other people's different experiences. Just because in your area it is not deemed safe, that does not mean that it cannot be deemed safe in another part of the country, where walking home from school is safer.

I have already posted several links to schools who have risk assessed it and deemed it to be safe for their children. If you look at my links, most are for rural Devon, where there are different pressures and in parts of Devon at least, much more of a culture of children walking home from school.

Can you not see that whilst your experience is true for you, it's not for others and it doesn't get to trump or invalidate their experiences where children walking home from school alone, at the age of 8 is not only permitted but actively encouraged by schools?

I'd be interested to see the outcome of aby safeguarding investigation for a child of 8 walking to or from school on a background of no other concerns

Age 7 onwards children are encouraged to walk, scoot and cycle home by school.

There are some younger children who will also do so accompanied by a big brother and sister.

My own kids have caught the bus to and from school since age 5.

Not all schools do what your school does.

Breaking news: not all schools and local authorities have the same rules, policies, approaches.

Well they wouldn't be allowed to leave without an adult. If an adult didn't turn up to collect the child they would contact children's services. The outcome would undoubtedly be telling a parent they need to pick their child up as per school policy and if they kept not doing so would be refered to a child in need plan at least

@stayingpositiveifpossible

*Oh God duh.....I really never knew that 'life was about balancing risks...etc.'

I've lived abroad and raised a (now seventeen year old thanks) ...

But I realise no amont of any experience will unblock OPs ears - or even imagine that someone else has anything to contribute - so good luck with that one...

when it happens to you or one of your friends you will be changing your tune. Latest*

I literally have no idea what you are even saying here! When what happens? What contribution? Good luck with what?

you simply don’t get that the way a person parents brings their children along at different levels. Some kids mature quicker than others. Even the NSPCC recognise that all children develop at different levels so won’t put an age on when anything is appropriate.
we are talking about kids playing in a park ffs! Kids have been playing in streets and parks and alleys for centuries. They walk home and in some areas are expected to be able to walk for 2 miles. It’s bloody normal life for many people! The bottom line is you and OP don’t need to watch out for anyone else’s children! You can absolve yourself from that responsibility! You are not the worlds childminder or social worker. you think other parents are risking their child but it’s not your business, same way it’s not my business that I think your child is likely to grow up emotional incapable of doing anything for themselves or stunted in confidence.

@theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity

But my kids are (were) allowed to leave without an adult.

So, how would their be a safeguarding investigation?

Dc1 started walking home from school in year 6 but only when I was home to greet her. Also she had a mobile phone too so if even a few mins later tgsn scheduled, I would call her. I wanted to prepare her for travelling alone in year 7. I will do the same with dc2.

If taking dc2 to park I sit close enough to see him from a distance. Same with the beach and any outside activity. Too many people around to notice the random man/woman lurking who has no dc with them.

I am amazed at the number of parents who allow their dc to wander off while they sit in a totally different area of the park. A few years ago a 6/7 year old fell off a swing. She was screaming and crying for her mum. One of her friends went looking for mum and they arrived 15 minutes later. She was sat nowhere near the park area.

I saw parents picnicking in a park with their children playing at the roped off playground about 200m away - around a load of trees and definitely out of sight. I was surprised they were all ok as the children were only reception age (I knew a few of them through various groups - different school - and they were clearly a year group). So I found reception age surprising, but clearly everyone in this group of about 20+ parents was fine with it.

Year 2 or 3 plus surely quite normal?

If something happened to the child on the way home there could easily be parenting assessment completed and further input given- maybe the school allow it but does that mean as a parent you've shown good judgement? I would argue no. They are 8- if you can't be arsed to get them to school and back safely why have kids?

I let my 8 year old run free in the park after school today with 5 of his friends. I was sitting at a bench just outside the play area so didn’t have eyes on at all times. It’s the start of a little bit of independence for him. He kept checking I was still there but there were times he was happy out of sight.

When they’re 11, they’re supposed to get the bus to school unaided. If they have absolutely no practice at independence, surely they’re going to struggle more when having to tackle that big journey on a sudden? Letting them practice with a bit of playing out and walking to school age 9+ allows them to build up to it.

@theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity

"I would argue no. They are 8- if you can't be arsed to get them to school and back safely why have kids?"

This really is a very lazy argument. Just because a parent has a different view of opinion to you, or lives in an area which perhaps is safer than yours, or has a child that maybe is more mature than yours, or maybe they've spent more time preparing their children to be responsible to go out alone, why does this mean lazy parenting?

Also, given that the NSPCC identifies that 8 is the age from which children will be ready to start walking home alone (see my earlier post for the link) why do you think the NSPCC is wrong? Why do they state children aged 7 shouldn't be left alone? Why not 9 or 10?

Or again, apart from a knee jerk reaction, what's your reasoning / evidence for saying that 8 is too young?

@theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity

Do you have any examples of safeguarding intervention for a child of 8 walking to and from school?

I could be arsed to get them to school and back safely. We risk assessed and taught them the means to do it safely.

Parenting win as far as I'm concerned