Letting children out of sight at a park

[Bbqchicken]

If you meet up with a group of friends and their children at a park within walking distance of your home, take picnics you have a lot of laughs play games drink etc. Would you let your primary school age children go off out of sight while you sit chatting with friends into the evening? AIBU to think it's irresponsible? If I did that and anything happened to my child age 7/8 I'd never forgive myself.

1 child on their own, no. A group of children, yes.

Also depends on the maturity and general behaviour of the children.

8 is about the age children should be able to go to the park round the corner / corner shop on their own, so yes I’d be fine with it, unless it was a particularly dodgy area.

You do have to slowly let them go.

At that time of night, no. Not because I think they are necessarily at risk but because they might see things happening that they don't need to be seeing.

I think at 7/8 it depends on so many things

• the size of the park


• the boundaries to the park


• whether the children can be trusted to stay together


• the general sensibleness of the children


• whether we are talking out of sight for 10 minutes or 2 hours

I went to a different park on Friday and the number of preschoolers who weren't being watched was horrendous.

2 year old throwing handfuls of sand at any child who dared come into the sandpit. I hadn't a clue who she belonged to.

Another child dangerously climbing on something he shouldn't. Would have hit his head on rocks if he fell.

It was all quite shocking! The playground layout makes it really difficult to see your child unless you are by them so a child could easily wander off. City centre playpark 🤯

It really depend on a whole number of things - size of the park, what physical boundaries are in place, how light it is, are there roads nearby, what are the DC like, what do you mean by "out of sight" (ie. is it out of sight in a big enclosed play area, or are they allowed to run off wherever) etc.

I used to play out of sight of my parents in a big enclosed play area at that age, but it was all fenced in and there was only one gate, so parents would sit outside with a picnic and we'd run off and play.

Just this weekend I, for the first time, let DS1 (9, Y4) wander off with some mates around the local fete. It was broad daylight and he was with three children I knew. So, no, not a chance. Here DC walk to school by themselves in Y6. I’m also sceptical of the parents who say their kids do and are fine because I am the parent who has had to stop other people’s DC (ones I know because they’re at school with DS1) from hurting other DC in a playground when they’d been let out to play…their DM would, I’m sure, swear they’re angels and I’m too careful with DS1.

Mine are six and seven. I’ll let them out of my sight for a few minutes but that’s about it. They are both quite level headed.

Yes, I would and I did at that age.

I used to set boundaries that they weren't allowed to go beyond, and clear rules. My children knew off by heart this little rhyme "I don't go anywhere, with anyone without checking with my mum". When it was put to the test (DC were invited off from park to go and play with friends, they did indeed check in with me). I made the promise to them, that unless I had a good reason for saying no, it would be a yes. If it was a no, then I would explain the reason why.

Fast forward a decade, I now have two confident teenagers, who are sensible, know their limits but happy to risk assess and be sensible. Eldest went away on holiday with friends at 16, had a great time and was able to make mature decisions. Both DC went away to London overnight at 15 and 18. Again had a great time and were aware of the risks and sensible about it.

I think it's because I've taught older students for so long, and seen so many babied students... it really does them no good.

I'm also mindful of the damage we're doing to our children by not giving them freedom. It's been picked up in this study (from last year) on the harm we cause by not allowing children freedom.

"The concerns we have from this report are twofold. First, we are seeing children getting towards the end of their primary school years without having had enough opportunities to develop their ability to assess and manage risk independently. Second, if children are getting less time to play outdoors in an adventurous way, this may have an impact on their mental health and overall wellbeing.”

"However, the end result for all too many children is the same: boredom, isolation, inactivity and poorer mental and physical health. The consequences for their development and wellbeing should not be underestimated.”

Unsupervised play has been well documented as having incredible benefits for Children’s mental health. So in a structured way, yes I would and I did.

amp.theguardian.com/society/2021/apr/20/gradual-lockdown-of-uk-children-as-age-for-solo-outdoor-play-rises

I did, from 6 they could play in the trees and bushes where I couldn’t see them, by 7-8 they had the run of the park but needed to come and check in with me every 10 mins or so.
It is a small local park, used primarily after school by the children of the two primary schools and they are generally in a group. It’s the sort of park where a parent will call you to say they’ve seen your child and check that they’re ok to be there. It’s a safe, small community where everyone knows one another.
My daughter is 9 and I am always in the park with her but she has the full run of the park. My son is 11 and can go to the park alone, or with friends, as well as the local shops. We have a tracker on his phone and he is sensible and mature.
I think it is important to foster independence but we are lucky to live in a safe community- it would definitely depend on where we lived. Most other children have similar freedom.

My nephew at 13 has less independence- but he goes to a private school 20 miles from his home so his friends are scattered, they can’t just call on each other. Plus my sister is more cautious then I am.

My sensible child, absolutely. My not so sensible child, also yes, but i would be walking over to check more frequently. For most children seems fine to me.

Not at 7/8 no tail end of primary 10 / 11 I wouldn't see an issue but depends on the kid, how far they are wandering.

No, I wouldn't. It only takes 3o seconds for a child to be abducted. If it is obvious that the parents are drinking then anyone planning that would take advantage of the fact that they were not 100 vigilant.

If it hasn't happened to you or anyone you know you are kidding yourself if you think it is not possible. It is.

There are plenty of activities outdoors where they can get exercise etc.

No I wouldn’t. Also walking to school on their own at age 8 is definitely not something we do where I live! The school don’t allow children below year 5 to leave school unless a parent is there. There’s a small park near us which is gated (one entrance) and they are free to play there and I stay near the entrance but a huge park like you’re at, no way. Are people genuinely oblivious to what could happen

If it was a group of children I'd prefer the adults to take turns keeping an eye. Also depends on how the park is laid out and the local area.

Children in year 3, I would be OK with this.

I think 7 is a bit young. 8/9 if they’re sensible and stick together, sure. Not roaming mikes away, but I wouldn’t need to have eyes on them at every moment.

Hm, I’m not sure, it depends on a lot of things. I don’t think I’d need them to remain in my sight at all times because that would preclude them from playing hide and seek for example. But I wouldn’t want them wandering far away exploring.

Nah. I wouldn’t be comfortable letting my kid go play at a big park with a pond without me right there.

Although I used to go off on my own to play in the woods for hours when I was a kid. I don’t know if times were just different back then or I (and many other kids) were just lucky.

At that age my son was never allowed to leave the gated play park and you can see everywhere from sat on the wall. It was the same park I played in as a kid and my mum had the same rules.

Honestly, I think there are very few parents out there who think ‘my child isn’t that important to me, I don’t really mind if they get abducted.’

But people do assess the risk differently.

I was with my toddlers at a local park and there was a girl on her own talking to and playing a teddy bear, she started hanging around with me and I learned she was 7, and that her parents can't see her from their house as it's at the back. Bloody insane.

I don’t wouldn’t feel the need to constantly be watching them, particularly if they are in a group. I would expect parents to set certain parameters appropriate to the space and children e.g don’t go further than that tree line and always stay in pairs, come and get an adult if there is any problem- for example.

I don’t think it’s inherently irresponsible. There is quite a difference between a trustworthy 9 year old and a 4 year old.

I think there's a difference between just loosing track of your kids than telling your kids they can go as far as X but have to be back by X and you have to stay close to your big brother or whoever.

I'd be fine with the second scenario if the kids were sensible enough to and I knew the area was safe..

you have started a thread on a public website telling the world you think they make irresponsible parenting decisions and inviting others to agree with you.

which part of that is not judging them?
mid you’re going to criticise other parents behind their backs on a public forum at least have the integrity to own it!