Letting children out of sight at a park

[Bbqchicken]

If you meet up with a group of friends and their children at a park within walking distance of your home, take picnics you have a lot of laughs play games drink etc. Would you let your primary school age children go off out of sight while you sit chatting with friends into the evening? AIBU to think it's irresponsible? If I did that and anything happened to my child age 7/8 I'd never forgive myself.

I live in a very low crime rate area.
8 is still very very young .
What if a child didn't arrive home and went home with a friend without letting their parents know? What if they misjudged the traffic and got hit by a car
They have so many years to gain independence and common sense in regards to safety again begs the question why have kids if you can't ensure their safety when they are an age aren't equipped to deal with it?

This is literally on the nspcc website
Why do you think you know better than a national childrens charities advice?

@theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity

That clearly means to walk home to an empty house.

Its not talking about walking to or from school. It's talking about being home alone. It's the title of it.

@theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity

Not all schools are on busy roads, or even roads at all. Where my parents live (and the children walk home alone from year 3/4), there's a network of alleyways to walk down.

Abduction rates are 14 million to one in the UK. You're probably putting your child at greater risk by driving them to school than allowing them to walk home (in the right conditions).

But see my post earlier down for the myriad of reasons why parents might thoughtfully make that choice. I've pointed out children in Switzerland are doing this perfectly safely from age 4/5. In fact a UCL research study shows their rate of children being killed by a car whilst walking is actually lower than the UK.

And that's without considering all the other benefits from children playing out / walking home alone. Scroll down to see the references to the studies I mentioned about the psychological damage we're doing to our children by not allowing them the freedom they have in continental Europe. The mental health and obesity crisis we have in the UK is not without concerns.

So no, it's not laziness or not caring about their children, perhaps it is just more informed or more nuanced thinking.

No it doesn't 🤦‍♀️

Ahh the old 'no even though it's in black and white it doesn't mean that tactic'

@theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity

It clearly does.

It doesn't mention walking to school so I guess that must be ok by them.

@theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity

You've linked to their staying at home alone advice, if you read their walking home from school advice they say not before 8.

So 8 is the age it becomes okay, depending on other factors (location, route, maturity, other children etc)

I walk my child to school. I then drive to work. Getting a young primary school aged child to school safety really isn't going to turn them into Fred West when they are older. Walking a 15 year old to high school isn't exactly going to instill joy in most kids but some still do that around where I live too- the kids are happy why do you feel walking them to school when they enjoy it will turn them into a totally inept and mentally scarred adult?

If young children walking to school and back so young was okay why do so many primary schools not allow it to happen? Possibly because they base their policies on child protection and safeguarding? Because they know cognitively children of this age aren't mature enough to?

First hit on Google.

subscribe.firstnews.co.uk/walking-to-school-alone/#:~:text=Legal%20Age%20to%20Walk%20to%20School%20Alone&text=That%20said%2C%20most%20councils%20and,to%20walk%20to%20school%20alone.

Technically, the law doesn’t state a minimum age limit for children walking to school alone. That said, most councils and local authorities recommend 8-years-old as a good time to start the process of learning to walk to school alone.

Nspcc mentions 8 in this one

www.care.com/c/en-gb/when-can-my-child-walk-to-school-alone/

Head for Child Protection Awareness at the NSPCC, says that in most situations, children under the age of eight shouldn’t be out on their own.

@theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity

Probably bowing to nonsense pressure from parents

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣so true.

Implying that others who did this wouldn't care if someone took their child isn't fair. Parenting is about weighing up risks and benefits. Just because they did this doesn't mean they don't care about their child...

Again if most councils recommended walking to and from school aged 8 is fine why do so many primary schools not allow it?
Also an 8 year old is a very young child. They have many years to get used to walking alone and learning life skills. Why is them being young and needing parenting such an inconvenience to you?
Do you think the same about them using the chip pan and a chainsaw too as they have to learn to be adults at some point?

@withsexypantsandasausagedog perhaps they mean because their child is precious to them it's not exactly a hardship to patent them?

@theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity

Do you know how many dont allow it v how many do?

Some schools being ott isn't a good argument that they're right.

And yes my kids were using lawn mowers and have been cooking since very young.

Skills mate

*parent

@theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity

"why do you feel walking them to school when they enjoy it will turn them into a totally inept and mentally scarred adult?"

I don't think that. However, I also don't think that it is a one sided keep children home = keeping children safe and healthy. That's a very naive viewpoint. There are strengths and benefits to giving children freedom to play out / walk home alone etc and there is plenty of argument to suggest that this can start from the age of 8.

Read page 3 of this report for the benefits of giving children freedom and potential harms to them by not allowing this freedom. There are many links at the end that's worth following up too.

https://www.nuffieldfoundation.org/sites/default/files/files/7350PSIIReportCIMMfinal.pdf

‘would argue no. They are 8- if you can't be arsed to get them to school and back safely why have kids’……..

Not about it being arsed is it though, it’s about what potential damage it does by not letting them have some risk & responsibility. This is why there’s a big increase in neurotic, worried children. It’s leant behaviour that’s been passed down by ‘worried’ parents. It’s not that parents are lazy, I want my child to grow up confident, strong & able to cope with life.

I'm astonished actually that the NSPCC recommend children under 12 should not be home alone. 11 year olds are in secondary and I would expect them to be fine home alone for several hours. This would have been the plan for mine before covid meant WFH became the norm.

I leave my 9 and 12 year old for short periods to go to the local shops or similar. They're sensible children. I also encourage them to go to the local shops together on a weekend daytime. It's a good way of building independence.

There's an unusual level of anxiety on MN which is unhealthy IMO.

I will be asking the school to let my yr 5 child walk home alone from September. He wants to, it's 10 minutes and I think it will be good for him. I'm not expecting a great deal of resistance from the school., nor a safeguarding referral (although I would be happy to explain my reasoning to SS).

@theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity

An otherwise cared for 8 year old would not get any intervention from children’s services. That would not be anywhere near the legal threshold unless there are other concerns.

Joe aged 8 walking home to mum in a small village where there is limited traffic and no main roads to cross and it only takes 5 mins is different to Emma aged 8 who walks home for 30 mins and no adult is there and she has to cross a busy dual carriageway in a major city centre known for issues with drugs and alcohol.

I think the NSPCC are aiming this at parents who need to be told what to do , rather than being able to use their judgment. If it said age 6, the same people would follow it. A lot of people on this thread, it seems.

@StarDolphins

Totally agree, when you read the studies of potential damage we're doing to our kids, it's really quite frightening.

This is quite a list...!

"can contribute to children’s psycho-social and cognitive development [55,56], their social competencies [28], and their psychological wellbeing [57,58]. The independent interaction of a child with the environment while walking to school on their own provides better knowledge of environmental orientation and structure, as well as map reading [55,59]. Mackett et al. [56] pointed out that children walk slower when they are not under adult supervision, which may be associated with exploring the environment and socializing. In support of this notion, Prezza et al. [28] showed that children who gain higher levels of independent mobility play more often with peers than those who are less independent. Moreover, engaging in independent mobility in early childhood could reduce feelings of loneliness in adolescence [58]. The use of public open spaces, high levels of independent mobility, and consequently, a better relationship with the community in childhood lead additionally to an increased sense of community and reduced fear of crime in adolescence [58]. The benefit of CIM on children’s mental health is another important aspect to mention. Mobility restrictions [51], parental supervision while walking [56], or hyper-parenting [60] limit children’s physical activity. This physical inactivity could furthermore elevate the risk of depression [61]. Due to a lack of longitudinal studies, the long-term effects of independent mobility in childhood on preventing depression and promoting psychological wellbeing in adolescence or adulthood cannot be confirmed as of yet."

file:///C:/Users/mrrob/Downloads/ijerph-15-02441.pdf