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AIBU?

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Original poster

Flat-chested mean comment from supposed friend

139 replies

Stardust35 · 02/07/2022 19:22

Before going on a work night out I was already feeling anxious/panicky (social anxiety). Despite telling my husband that I really didnt want to go, I pushed through to join, thinking it would be okay when I got there. Before leaving I put on a new dress that I felt confident in, did make-up nicely etc. Then whilst out, I complimented a supposed friend on her dress. Another colleague said she was jealous about her boobs filling the dress, and wished she could. Then supposed friend said, "you do have boobs unlike [me] who really does have a flat chest."
I'm a b cup. I'm already inwardly self-conscious and felt totally shit about myself from that comment. Every one else sitting nearby looked taken-aback that she said it. Am I wrong to still feel upset now?

OP posts:
SarahKennedy · 02/07/2022 20:13

None of us can help our size anyway we are what we are

Exactly! I have never really given any thought to the size of my breasts, any more than I've worried about the length of my fingers or the size of my feet. If someone else commented on my breasts, especially in the context of it being a general conversation about breasts and fitting into dresses, it would be water off the proverbial duck's back. I certainly wouldn't lose a friendship over it.

Crayfishforyou · 02/07/2022 20:13

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 02/07/2022 20:08

Me too.
Would much rather have smaller ones

Show quote history

Me too, the backache, the neck ache and the ugly expensive bras suck.
and as for the comment about sports bras…
WTAF. Utter bollocks, sports bras are hideously difficult to get to fit if you lug about cantaloupes on your chest.
And I don’t want to attract the sort of men who were into page 3. That’s the problem with big boobs, your categorised as sexy. I don’t want to be sexy.

Navigatingnewwaters · 02/07/2022 20:15

Whatever men may or may not find attractive has no bearing on this cheeky cow and her spiteful comments.

fghj149 · 02/07/2022 20:19

I had a “friend” like that once who literally argued with me publicly on Facebook that I was a b cup and not a c cup. She commented it on my photos and I used to wonder what people thought about that. Jealousy is a terrible thing..

mrsbitaly · 02/07/2022 20:22

I'm glad others were taken aback it shows her comment was unnecessary. I would also pull her on it and tell her you didn't appreciate being humiliated and not to do it again.

CiderJolly · 02/07/2022 20:27

girlfriend44 · 02/07/2022 19:54

Men seem to like them bigger.

You can always wear a sports bra.

Show quote history

Men are like women, they all have different things they find attractive no doubt. Who cares though?! All my friends with natural larger boobs complain about them.

Goingforarun · 02/07/2022 20:27

There’s some part of you or your life she’s really jealous of. Still a bitch though

Original poster
Stardust35 · 02/07/2022 20:27

Thank you everyone.
I'm going to send a WhatsApp now.
I'm sure when I see her on Monday it will be awkward but at least I've not sat in silence. I'm not going to hold a grudge but just want to let her know it's not okay to make comments about others like that.

OP posts:
FrodisCapering · 02/07/2022 20:27

I don't know if this will make you feel better, but I am jealous of your B cup. I'd love to be able to wear dainty bras and bikinis. Clothes sit much better and look classier. Exercise is easier. No sweaty underboob in summer!
Was your "friend" jealous?

Goingforarun · 02/07/2022 20:30

PS if you can bring yourself watch naked attraction in channel 4.

glittereyelash · 02/07/2022 20:35

Il bet you have a gorgeous slim figure. I was a b cup in my younger days and was tiny. I had so many negative comments which I realise now was jealousy. She's either projecting or a nasty bitch don't let it get you down.

Original poster
Stardust35 · 02/07/2022 20:36

Thank you! She always seems so confident. Tonight she was of the opinion "if you've got it, flaunt it" which I definitely do not have it to flaunt haha!
I've tried to not let it ruin in the night or anything, but it's never nice to receive a personal hurtful comment in your direction, especially when you thought the person was a friend. Embarrassing too with others around. Or that was how I felt anyway! I've sent the message anyhow, so will see what she says.

OP posts:
Bonjovispjs · 02/07/2022 20:44

I'm so envious of women with small boobs after carrying my huge uncomfortable breasts around since the age of 13, it's my fantasy to have small boobs so I could wear nicer tops, maybe even go without a bra, that would be heaven, all I get now is backache and sore underneath where they sweat so much, I'd swap with you any day and I'm all for you telling your so called friend how out of order she was.

USaYwHatNow · 02/07/2022 20:45

I'm a double H (and 28 weeks pregnant so God knows what they are now!) I would love smaller boobs 😂. I'll bet my bottom dollar she's jealous of you in some fashion. You probably looked absolutely amazing and she felt like trying to make herself feel better by making some horrible comment.

mnnewbie111 · 02/07/2022 20:53

She's jealous AF

SarahKennedy · 02/07/2022 20:57

Oh dear - I am clearly too old for this malarkey. I wouldn't have sent a Whats app (even if I had a phone), as it just drags things out. I'd have just forgotten about it!

needanotherholidayy · 02/07/2022 21:02

I don't think she's your friend.

Friends don't need to put each other down.

IlkaDoxie · 02/07/2022 21:06

I used to have tiny tits and could wear anything - enjoy it while you have it, OP, mine now make me look fat, even though I am not. Clothes are really hard to buy and everything is uncomfortable because of my stupid boobs.

How great does this woman look? Imagine trying to dance like this with massive tits. Your 'friend' is jealous.

Original poster
Stardust35 · 02/07/2022 21:10

She really does have everything though. New house, about to landscape the garden, new car, recently married, exotic honeymoon, nice figure, job promotion at work, loads of friends I can't see what she is jealous about with me tbh! Think it was just a catty put down.

OP posts:
foliageeverywhere · 02/07/2022 21:11

SarahKennedy · 02/07/2022 20:57

Oh dear - I am clearly too old for this malarkey. I wouldn't have sent a Whats app (even if I had a phone), as it just drags things out. I'd have just forgotten about it!

You said it's not something that would upset you though.

If a friend/collegeage said something that genuinely did touch a nerve, it's completely fair enough to clear the air by pointing out it wasn't a nice thing to say.

SarahKennedy · 02/07/2022 21:14

foliageeverywhere · 02/07/2022 21:11

You said it's not something that would upset you though.

If a friend/collegeage said something that genuinely did touch a nerve, it's completely fair enough to clear the air by pointing out it wasn't a nice thing to say.

Show quote history

That's true. And I do realise that I'm probably 20 years older than the OP and grew up in an age when we just shrugged it off if someone else was a dick. Even if I'd been bothered by someone saying something, I'd never have gone to the bother of writing them a letter, putting a stamp on it, and remembering to post it to tell them so.

pbj · 02/07/2022 21:14

Spiteful comment from her which would have made her look bad to the others. I too wouldn’t have dignified her with a WhatsApp and instead would just keep her at a distance from now on.

I bet you looked great. Many women larger than a B would love to be that cup size. Grass is greener and all that!

justwantgoodyouknow · 02/07/2022 21:15

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

BDeyes · 02/07/2022 21:24

mine are like 2 fried eggs (mind you I'm due on and they are incredibly sore & tender at the moment so feel huge!) but I've always been extremely self conscious about my flat chest and have always only wore padded bras to give myself a bit of a boost, it would've really bothered me if someone would've made a flat chested comment to me. I would have loved to have been more curvaceous and have never been able to wear low cut tops and cannot wear a bikini as I'm so self conscious of my flat chest. swimming is a nightmare etc. I'm mid 40s and I do find the younger generation that have a very small bust do seem much more comfortable & confident with it. back when I was a teen and early 20s I had many people comment on my flat chest it was so awful and embarrassing.

brown543 · 02/07/2022 21:31

Funnily enough, I don't wear padded bras or bikini tops. No judgement of those that do but it makes me feel like I'm not happy with what I have.

I have small boobs and that's fine. I don't feel the need to make them look larger than they are. Others no doubt feel differently which is also fine.