To ask if you 'have it all' and are you happy for it?

[TheLostNights]

By that I mean:

1. A good and happy marriage or relationship
2. Children
3. Nice home
4. Good job which pays well
5. Opportunity to spend time with kids as flexible working
6. Lots of friends and good social life
7. Close to family

I have everything I need that makes me happy and love my life.

I have most of the things on that list, but I don't need them all to make me happy and love my life.

I’m definitely not paid enough and my house is too small but I have the rest and am happy

I have a lot of them but it's by no means been easy.

1. Marriage, over the past 2 years it's been awful and we are technically separated and not living together but we've had a lot of counselling, had a lot of conversations and we are slowly getting back on track. I feel a lot more positive about things working than I have done in a long time. He's been an arse, I've been an arse but we are getting there.

1. Yes but they are difficult and I find parenting difficult.

1. Yes but it needs a lot of work doing to it and could do with being a bit bigger.

1. No, I have a minimum wage job that I earn peanuts in but I work weekdays only 9-3 which allows me to spend time with the kids. I'm looking at getting a better paying job but it comes with longer working hours for not all that much more money so I'm torn between wanting a "grown up" job or doing something that I actually like doing which fits in well but I feel judgement for "only being a waitress at 36"

1. Number 4 gives me the flexibility so yes, I don't work weekends and I can pick them up from school and chat about their day on the way home which is really nice.

1. I have an amazing bunch of friends but our social life is lacking due to kids/finances. Doesn't really matter though, they've been my absolute rocks during my marriage wobbles and I couldn't have stayed sane without them.

1. I am close to my family and my in-laws but nobody lives nearby so I can't rely on them for physical support but definitely emotional.

I think my issue is that I feel like my life just isn't good enough. My job is crap, the house is too small, I'm too fat and it's all just in my head because actually I have a really good life and need to learn to manage my expectations and to be happy because I'm just naturally grumpy.

I have most of that. I have just resigned from my job but I am lucky enough not to need the income. I am also away from a lot of family as I live in a different country but I quite like being distanced 🤣
So yeah I have it all and I am happy as a pig in mud

And mine is a dog! :-)

5 out of 7 items on that list would be my idea of hell so....

1 A good and happy marriage or relationship - I am madly in love with my DP. But he is still legally married to the mother of his DC, who has enduring mental health difficulties and causes quite a bit of drama, money issues and general chaos.
2 Children - yes 2. They are adopted, I love the bones of them but they have ongoing challenges, are angry and aggressive most of the time (though angels in public) call me a useless cunt most days of the week.
3 Nice home - yes, after living through slow, messy renovations
4 Good job which pays well - yes, I love my job but it's very full on and can be emotionally demanding
5 Opportunity to spend time with kids as flexible working - yes but as above they will likely moan, bicker and call me a stupid bitch while I try to give them fun times
6 Lots of friends and good social life - I've got lots of great friends but I rarely see them as I can't leave my DC with anyone
7 Close to family - geographically close but that has it's own issues!

So you tell me OP - I've ticked all of your boxes, but I doubt many people would choose my life if they saw it from the inside. The grass is rarely greener.

Yes I have all the things you’ve listed although 4. Is businesses which are extremely successful and obviously makes 5. Much easier as I don’t need to work day to day now bar the odd hour every other day for the businesses.

I am very, very happy and feel very lucky.

I have all of that except the job, but that’s the choice I made to stay off work for a bit (and I bloody love it!) DH has a job part time that he loves though.

That said, the reason we live like this now is because DH was a workaholic for many years and we ticked very few of the boxes to be honest but didn’t know how to stop. He had a heart attack and it made us re-evaluate everything and make some drastic changes. We made a conscious choice to design a life we loved, and we are so grateful for it every single day.

Yes I have almost all of that and I'm happy! I don't have much of a social life, but not fussed about that. I have worked part time for years and been paid peanuts (dh on a good salary) but have just accepted a ft job which pays well and which I'm really looking forward to. Happy marriage, great kids, lovely pets, nice hobbies, get on great with all my extended family, live in a nice house in a beautiful part of the country.

I only have no. 1 but I am happy.

I think that it is telling that a few people have said that they have it all and are happy but they also suffer from depression etc.

I think it is very difficult to have it all.

Pretty much. I work à 40 hour week but hardly any commute so i see my kids. Im not super close to my family (live in a different country) but my husband and kids (and job) are more than i could ever have dreamed of.

Yes I have it all. I love my life! Yes I’m very happy but I’ve worked hard for it

You don't mention health.

Contentment is having none or some or all of these and still being relatively happy. Don't think you can tick them off and be happy.

Yes to all.
Taken me to age 50 to get there though.

Yes and I am very grateful. I think so many of those give your life meaning and stability and the confidence not to second guess yourself and know that whatever happens you are loved.

I pretty much have it.

I'm pretty content & happy for the most part, but there are times when keeping all the plates spinning is a bit stressful.

So important.

I have most of that and am happy and content in my day to day. Years ago when I didn’t have many of those things in my list (student, single, starting out in my career, no kids) I was still happy and content in my day to day. Life is gift and even on hard days/weeks/months, I still feel moments of happiness and gratitude for my health, my family, for being me.

1-6. Very happy and very grateful. Sometimes I feel very lucky, sometimes I think it’s down to how I grafted when younger. But try to keep perspective and also relate to lots of different people.

I had all that and wasn't happy, got rid of number 1 and now I am!

I have all of those apart from number 4, i'm a SAHM with 7 children. My DH has a very good job though and provides for us all without the help of any benefits (including child benefit). I will be looking to start a course in a couple of years and my dream is to eventually become a teacher. I'm very happy indeed but not because i have everything on a list, but because i appreciate all i have and i know the main things in life are love, health and happiness. No amount of money or holidays, material posessions etc can truly fulfill most of us. We aren't short of money but we don't have lots either, we live comfortably although the energy bill increase, fuel increases etc have made us worse off than we previously were.

I have everything an the list ( except number 6)
I can count the number of friends I have one one hand . I also have a rubbish social life
I would say that I am content with my life and realise that I am fortunate. However, I do worry that everything will go pear shaped one day so I just try to enjoy my life

I have
1
2
3
4 not well paid job but it pays my bills
5
and last one me and my family are in good health.
6 no friends
7 my families live 9 hours