Invite entire year 1 class to party bar 3 pupils?

[Mummybear888]

My daughter is moving up to Year 1 in September and the school have mixed the classes up.

I want to throw her a Birthday party but don't know if I should invite the entire class (17 kids)? There are about 3 boys that she doesn't like (they're not nice to her). Aibu inviting everyone but those 3??

Also, there are a 4 people from her old reception class that she would like to invite.

I could do girls only but it will be a shame, as there are some nice boys in her class.

Thank you in advance!

I couldn’t exclude just 3 children - I think it makes it too obvious that they’ve been left out. I think I would either make sure at least 6-8 children aren’t invited or I would invite everyone.

She shouldn’t have to have people that aren’t nice to her at her party. But in view of that, I think I would probably moderate the rest rather than have all but three come.

Leaving out just 3 of a group isn’t nice.

I would either invite them all or less than half.

Do it, if they pick on her normally she can tell them why they aren't invited too.

We invited DDs bully to her birthdays, because DD didn't want to be rude & leave anyone out as she'd been deliberately excluded & goaded over it several times & felt it wasn't nice. It just made the little madam bully worse & she was caught telling other kids to smash things up etc.

Really regret that we didn't exclude her

Do it

At the age you can't invite everyone but three...invite them all or only half

You need to do whole class, small group or girls only. Leaving out three kids is not nice, you will likely just make the rift even worse.

she can tell them why they aren't invited too.

That's quite a responsibility for a six year old. Is that what you do? Go up to people, and tell them the error of their ways to their faces?

Is that what you do? Go up to people, and tell them the error of their ways to their faces?

Actually yes I do, it's very liberating, you should try it

Who said to instruct the DC to tell them, not me, but no harm in telling the boys when asked, that they weren't invited because they were mean to her. Even a six year old can manage that if they choose too

Of course it's ok. They aren't nice to her. Don't reward their bad behaviour.

Madness to say you should invite them.

Please don’t do ‘girls only’. If she gets on with some boys in her class and is happy to play with them that is to be encouraged. Why should it be ‘girls play with girls and boys play with boys’.

At that age I wouldn't exclude 3 boys. It just mean. The boys will learn nothing from it. Their behaviour does need to be addressed but not like this.

I wouldn't invite them if it's likely to ruin her day but equally I wouldn't only exclude 3 children at that age. I think I would limit the numbers and invite less in that case

You can't do that.

You want to be unkind to them for being unkind to her?

Use it as an example to your child. Maybe attending the party will form a friendship between them.

That would be really , really mean. Just so unkind.
I don't care if she doesn't like them but to invite every other person but them?

Yanbu
. Don't even consider inviting her bullies to her party. Could easily ruin it.
They need to learn they can't bully and expect to be invited to their birthday party!

I'd be inclined to exclude the three boys, and have a plan as to what you will say if their mum or dad asks why. Even more so if they are going to be in a different class next year.

Of course you don't invite everyone bar 3, that's mean and makes you worse than them seeing as you're a grown up and (should) know better. Either invite half the class or all the class

All or less than half.

And no inviting most of one sex but leaving out 1 or 2, either.

Normally I'd say leaving out just 3 isn't really on. However, you've said these 3 particular boys are mean to her.

No one should have to invite someone who is mean to them to their party - even if it means just leaving out 1 or 2.

I'd say, in this instance, it's OK to invite the children you want and leave out 3. If queried on it say your child and the missed out ones don't get on.

I dont think you can classify 5 year olds as "bullies" either, if they have been being regularly unkind then something has gone wrong parenting & teacher wise

I'm confused and not sure I understand it properly. Surely she's still in Reception? Or have the school moved them into their yr 1 classes already? If you're leaving out 3 kids of her current class then that's dodgy. Though if the party is in the summer hols I think that would be ok. But it reads like you might be inviting all but 3 of her future class? I wouldn't have even compared a current list against her future September class so I think that's fine.

Agree please don't call 5 year old bullies. I'd ask everyone in that year and make smaller as gets older but if she really doesn't like them reduce list significantly so less obvious, really unkind to exclude 3.

I don’t know why people are calling theses children bullies , even the OP didn’t use that word . Invite them all or about half it’s nasty to exclude just a few especially in such a small class .

Y1 is very young to start excluding because of 'behaviour'. They're still just little. That sort of lesson - if you're mean, people won't like you and you won't be invited to things - is only really useful for older children with more self-control and understanding of consequences. Younger children need help to manage their behaviour.

Set a number to invite. Tell her to fill the spaces with people that she likes from both classes. Job done.