DH didn't help little girl

[Whatshisface]

My DH was in a shopping center.

He was about to go down an escalator, but in front was a man on his phone and what he assumes was his 3/4 year old daughter.

The man was still talking away on his phone, his daughter was a step or two behind him when the dad got on the escalator.

The daughter hesitated and just stood at the top; DH then is next to the little one, who reaches out her hand to DH --- my DH didn't take it, but instead got on the escalator himself.

The man then shouted up to the girl 'stay there, stay there' as he had to walk to the opposite end of the center to get to the 'up' escalator.

DH said he looked up and a woman had stopped to stay with the little one.

I was really mortified DH hadn't either 1) taken her hand to take her down with him, or 2) stayed with her until her dad came back.

But DH said, as a male, and it being a little girl, he 100% didn't feel comfortable with either scenario.

Did he do the right thing?

I'd have instinctively taken the little one's hand and been reassuring and kind to her, taking her to her dad at the bottom. and would have resisted telling the dad what an idiot he his

it's not just the men.

I worked in a soft play for a couple of summers and I once asked a teenage, maybe 14 year old, girl to move a child of about 18 months from the exit mat from which children were flying down at high speed.

The mother, sat over in the seating area with her pal, stormed across the soft play shouting WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING TO MY DAUGHTER and was thrown out by the soft play manager.

I can only assume she would have preferred I would have waited for a child going at a fair speed to land on her baby.

Actually I can see half the text crossed out - must be a MN issue.

But I think DH was right not to hold her hand sadly with the way things are now.

That's just so awful :(

Really appreciate the replies. To answer a PP from a while ago, no we don't have children, so DH isn't used to being around kids!

I would have shouted after the man on the phone - I wouldn't have helped her on to the escalator in case I was accidentally taking her away from who she was meant to be with, for example if she'd followed dad who was on the phone but was supposed to wait with mum who was as trying to catch up.

I wouldn't have left her on her own at the top of the escalator.

I asked dh and he said he wouldn't have taken her hand and helped her for the same reason above, but he would have waited to keep her safe and would have intervened if it looked like she was going to get hurt.

Yes, I would be grateful for a passer by intervening if my child were in mortal danger. But this was not such a situation. In this situation i inagine I'd have simply turned around and walked back up the escalator to retrieve them myself, as I've done on occasion with an older child who lost their nerve stepping on. No one is arguing that a man shouldn't intervene as a last resort if the alternative is serious harm, so there's no point arguing something no one is disputing.

I'm a woman.
A boy yesterday was staring, smiling at me.
I waved.
His mum gave me a dirty look.

If I was a man Iwouldn't even have dared look never mind waved.

Your husband did the right thing.

That stupid father needed a lesson this was it.

Some people are saying your DH was 'right' not to hold the little girl's hand. I don't agree that he was right as such, but I believe his decision was perfectly understandable. Of course it was unlikely that there would have been any repercussions for him, but it is not always possible to think logically in the moment. As for the poster who described such a decision as cowardly, that is utterly ridiculous and over the top.

"Yes, I would be grateful for a passer by intervening if my child were in mortal danger. But this was not such a situation. In this situation i inagine I'd have simply turned around and walked back up the escalator to retrieve them myself, as I've done on occasion with an older child who lost their nerve stepping on. No one is arguing that a man shouldn't intervene as a last resort if the alternative is serious harm, so there's no point arguing something no one is disputing."

A three year old standing unaccompanied at the top of an escalator is at risk of serious harm.

The dad had to go to the other side of the shopping centre to get an escalator back up.

Your DH was protecting himself from possible abuse by the father and accusations of trying to abduct a child. I am a woman in my late 50s and after an incident 30 years ago, when I picked up a little boy, who was running twenty five yards ahead of his mother and fell by the side of a main road, and got a load of verbal from his mother, Since then, I won't go anywhere near someone else's child. And things have got worse, especially for men.

"That stupid father needed a lesson this was it."

Thank goodness his lesson was a few minutes of panic and not a seriously injured child.

My only concern im this scenario is how do you know she's meant to be with the random bloke halfway down the escalator? So no I wouldn't have taken her onto the escalator. But I'd have stayed with her in case she tried to get on and tumbled.
DH had got a funny look in the past for helping a kid who fell over, in a scenario where I'd have had a thank you.

Its ok berating men for not wanting to be publicly accused of being inappropriate but they don't know if they're going to get a dirty look or a fist in the face

You don't help children because of one negative experience thirty years ago?

I don't disagree with you but I also feel for the DH who is caught in a difficult position. It's something that does play on the mind too as he will have the what if scenarios pop into his head. I had a man one time panicked cos my child fell at his feet, he went to help her and then pulled back looking around anxiously for me and he said "i didn't touch her" it made me really sad that we are all feeling like this.

"And things have got worse, especially for men."

It's got worse because hysterical people see danger everywhere and others go along with it. This thread demonstrates how many people would be proud and pleased if their dp ignored a child in potential danger, making themselves part of the problem.

Should have used his voice.
Hey mate, your little girls got left behind - loud voice
Stand here and dad will come round to get you — reassuring voice to child.
And then stood next to the child until dad got to her.
im a woman and wouldn’t touch or walk off with anyone’s child. Lost child at boot sale the other week, parent shouting so I yelled to everyone around to stand still be quiet. Parent then could hear child crying in the crowd.

WTAF are you banging on about?

"WTAF are you banging on about? "

Responding to the comments saying the dad probably wasn't a very nice man and might have attacked someone who helped.

So this child's safety is/was EVERYONE else's responsibility except for her feckless shitty father who left his daughter behind on an escalator?

Fuxake. Just when I thought I had read everything on here!

If the shoe fits.

Just as it’s none of our business what a woman does with her own foetus, arguably it’s none of our business what a parent does with their own child.

It’s their responsibility if the child gets harmed due to their negligence. No-one else’s. Period.

"If the shoe fits."

A dad distracted by his phone isn't automatically a bad person or someone who might attack anyone who tries to help his child.

You’ve missed the point.

No one is saying there wasn’t a glitch, just that it’s obvious it was a glitch and to just let it go, instead of harassing OP.

If you mean me, then no, I didn't.

I didn't harass the OP. I knew it was a glitch.

Winter stated it was only 1 line (ignoring other posters' screenshots showing otherwise, on the app).

Then she was rude about those same posted, unnecessarily. Not all posters would have realised it was a glitch & were merely asking why the text was in strike through 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes but that doesn't stop the child having a fatal accident

"So this child's safety is/was EVERYONE else's responsibility except for her feckless shitty father who left his daughter behind on an escalator?"

"It’s their responsibility if the child gets harmed due to their negligence. No-one else’s. Period."

So you'd watch a child get hurt, rather than helping, because it's ultimately the parents' responsibility to keep them safe?

Frankly, the apologists for this little girl's father's poor parenting and neglect are somewhere between hilarious and disturbing and shocking. Parenting has certainly changed since mine were little if ANYONE is finding this girl's father's behaviour acceptable. I used to look after mine, and hold their hand whilst we were out, everywhere! And always on an escalator.

I certainly would not have been fucking around on my phone whilst my pre-school children were way behind me on an escalator. It speaks volumes about some posters on here that they think this girl's father did no wrong, and the OP's husband is in the wrong. Dear God! I can't believe some of the posts I am reading on here!