Should a male teacher have done this?

[mycatisannoying]

During a residential school trip, enter a girls' shared dorm to wake them up?
To my mind it's a safeguarding issue, and there was also a female teacher on the trip who could have done it.
I wanted to seek others' opinions before raising it.
Thanks.

Pot and kettle !!!!

So when a male student is abused by a female teacher do we say "that was statistically unlikely, so...

What a ridiculous statement to make. Of course any abuse should be dealt with and I believe that quite recently a female teacher was jailed for such an offence. However, this does not mean that we should ignore the immensely greater risk that a person of the male sex poses.

and yet many females I hear saying this have no bother walking around a public pool or beach in a bikini or topless in beaches.

This is to do with consent and choice. I choose wear a short skirt and accept men may see my legs. It doesn't mean I want men (or anyone!) to look through my bedroom window and see me in my pyjamas.

OP, YANBU - I don't think this is OK at all. I went to a boarding school and there's no way any man would have been allowed anywhere near the girls dorms. I can't even remember any Dad's bringing bags in after a weekend/holiday or anything - in fact, I don't think any of the Dads would have needed this stating to them it's so obvious! I think I'd have a word with the school. He may not have seen anything this time (although did make your DD and possibly other girls feel uncomfortable which is reason enough to mention) but next time there could have been a girl up early getting dressed or something.

Just out of interest, why did he think your DD had her phone - sounds so strange that he was so convinced and wouldn't let it drop. I also think getting students to use code words against your DD is inappropriate.

It was in the past seen as a bit of a joke, women and male pupils.

People were really only interested in male teachers taking advantage of girls.

But if we are saying it is OK for a woman to go into a boys room we are ignoring the fact that abuse can happen in that way.
How many of you let male relatives wake up your daughters? Statistically that is the most likely place for abuse to happen.

Do you not understand the difference between a woman choosing to wear a bikini to the beach, for example, versus a woman in her underwear in a be privacy of her home not wanting someone to see her uninvited?

If not, you have a lot of learning to do around consent.

I really hope you aren't in any position of influence with kids / teens because you just said that if a woman is happy to wear a bikini to the beach, she's a hypocrite for not wanting an uninvited male to see her in her nightwear.

Which is absolutely batshit.

334bu

But many on here are saying that its not safeguarding when a female teacher walks in to a room of sleeping boys.
Boys are also able to feel uncomfortable etc. about this and could be in a state of undress.
It is a safeguarding issue for both sexes. Although this point has derailed the thread.

I would really quite like to know what actually happened instead of the OP's vague description.

If males are more likely to be perpetrators of sexual violence, would it even be okay for this male teacher to wake up the boys' dorm? Or should female teachers do this too?

I think it’s fine, but inadvisable

My youngest son 14 at the time, was being groomed by an 18 yr old female in his school.
The teachers picked up, spoke to me ( we were away of a friendship but not the extent) it was dealt with by the school in an unbelievably careful way for all concerned.

So it does happen on the other way and more often that I think many of us realise. It is not less of an issue because more men abuse women than vice versa - they are both wrong.

Now if the OP clarifies what exactly this teacher did - knocked on the door and stuck his head round the door or came in and pulled the duvets off - who will know how inappropriate this was.

That is why there are always male and female teachers/ supervisors on school trips. On no school trip that I have been on did a female teacher go into boys' sleeping accommodation nor a male teacher into girls' rooms.

I couldn't get upset over this. Did you think a male teacher is going to molest a young girl in a room full of other girls?
And if he's waking them up, he isn't watching them get dressed.
People get far too hung up about non issues like this.

It's possibly a bit different depending on the age of the child

When my year 6 children were on a residential there were no men there to wake the boys up.

He should be reported for harassing/inventing events IF they didn't happen, especially if he makes a habit of targeting one person in particular. Teachers are allowed to bully and lie far too often and no one stands up to them

I really can’t comprehend the amount of women on here completely desperate to justify a male person entering a room where girls were sleeping in their nightclothes.
seriously- what the actual fuck is wrong with you?
I think it’s highly likely that the guy is completely innocent but I wouldn’t want a person who is stupid enough to think this was acceptable educating my children anyway.

and NO - at no decent school do male members of staff enter the girls changing rooms. Not sure what paedophile paradises some of you attended.

I am part of cadets and no instructors of the opposite sex are to enter the the rooms.

We go in twos, usually the same sex as the cadets or one male and one female, and the female will wake the girls, and male will wake the boys. Same as lights out.

He shouldn't have entered the room, perhaps knocked on the door and shouted wake up and been with someone else.

It's to safe guard adults and cadets

Why does it have to be a full molestation for it to be ‘bad enough’?

It's bad enough that he made the girls feel uncomfortable by invading their private space and encouraging them to use secret code words with him.

They felt uneasy. As far as I’m concerned that makes it ‘bad enough’.

And either he knew what he was doing, which makes him predatory and inappropriate. Or he didn’t know how it would come across, which makes him unfit to safeguard the girls and himself properly.

I really can’t comprehend the amount of women on here completely desperate to justify a male person entering a room where girls were sleeping in their nightclothes

This, in spades.

The posters head-tilting-to-one-side "...but what was the problem, OP?" and the others tripping over themselves to justify The Man's Right to Be Anywhere leave me aghast.

He knew what he was doing. It was a micro-power trip, and it was the abuse of power and responsibility that we see again and again from men, towards women and girls.

And yet these pages are filled with female apologists for this kind of male crap.

Yea exactly.

And also: ‘But what if his feelings were hurt, or he was inconvenienced in some way by being held accountable for his questionable actions?! Surely much better that the girls just suck it up, that’s even assuming they’re not lying trouble makers.’

Absolutely not unreasonable. A decent male teacher wouldn't even consider it. A decent man wouldn't consider doing it, teacher or not. But a teacher should be even more aware that it's not appropriate and is likely to make at least some of the girls feel uncomfortable, no matter what his intentions were.

We had a male teacher do this when I was about 11. The dorms were split by sex and each dorm had a room next to it with a teacher of the same sex in it. The number of times the male teacher found it necessary to walk into our room unannounced was quite astonishing. Including at night when we were all in bed in just our nighties. Including when we'd all had showers and some of us were only in our underwear. Not ok then and not ok now.

The posters head-tilting-to-one-side "...but what was the problem, OP?" and the others tripping over themselves to justify The Man's Right to Be Anywhere leave me aghast

And men know plenty of women do this. Which is why they keep doing this:

a micro-power trip, and it was the abuse of power and responsibility

This.
Plus on another thread you complained that your dd's response to your attempt to limit their phone use was to slag you off to their df. OP, wake up and connect the dots. You haven't explained exactly how the teacher woke the girls, and you haven't considered that you could be getting a very one-sided story from your 13 yr old.
Your reaction is why when our centre was being renovated, a male colleague refused to accompany young female clients up an enclosed flight of stairs to the interview room, after greeting them at Reception. We worked with some young people with challenging behaviour and he was terrified of a made up accusation of inappropriate behaviour. Particularly when people like to trot out the "there's no smoke without fire", line.

OP, you still haven’t answered how he woke them up.

He entered their room this is in the first post

that in itself is a safeguarding issue hopefully nothing else he did was inappropriate but that certainly is

And he appears to be singling out op’s
dd by telling other students to use code words this is colluding

two more red flags